Clarifying Issues

Okay I think I need to clarify a few things.  DH is a wonderful guy but he is LAZY.  He procrastinates to the point he is called a producer.  Yeah the type that is great under duress but if you need to depend upon him to get a task done in a timely manner forget it.

That is why with my postpartum depression I'm more than a bit cranky with him.  I LOVE him but there are days I'd love to just be able to kick his butt out of the house.

I'm tired.  I know that most new moms are tired.  Add in the fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome along with all the other medical issues I have and you have one hot mess.  So I'd like to be able to depend upon my spouse to make the meals but I'm lucky if I can get him to make a bottle up for the baby in the middle of the night.  I get up with him for all but one feeding to make the bottles.  I wash out the majority of the bottles.  Yes he does feed Little E her bottle but a child of 8 could give a baby a bottle too.  Now I'm wishing I had a school aged kid to feed Little E.  But not an ordinary school aged child, no I want one like how I was really responsible at that age.

No I'm not going to put pressure upon my little girl to be super kid but I am going to insist that she keep a neat and tidy room when she reaches that age.  Same rules as my mom had; you take it out you put it back or else it gets thrown out with the trash on the day your room gets vacuumed.  Now to some this might sound harsh but it teaches the child to be responsible with their possessions.  I'm not going to back up my beliefs to satisfy anyone so if you don't like how I'm going to raise my child then go raise one of your own your own way.

Oh does that sound hostile?  Maybe, but at least I'm being honest.

Back to how DH is driving me nuts.  Sure he was a big help in the hospital but he had a staff of nurses to spell him out at any time so he could run home and feed the cat and play on the computer while I sat in a room on another floor in pain and lonely without my baby.  (Normally the baby cannot be removed from the nursery to go to another floor but I got special permission from the hospital to have her with me for a few hours on one day. They put those baby lo-jack bracelets on the baby for a reason.)

He leaves dirty dishes on the counter.  Sugar crusted coffee stains on the counter and floor.  Mind you our kitchen is a galley style and small so it is easy to clean.  He was doing this before we had the baby too so it isn't because he is tired it is because he is lazy.

The top of his bar is a mess.  I just tried to put my camera near his computer on the bar and I had to move things to make room for it.  Papers and games and more junk that should be moved off the top.  Things I've asked him to box up and move to the shed months ago.

I do love him.  I just can't take the mess he is making because I end up cleaning it up do to the fact that I don't want more roaches in the house.  I live in the south and yes we do get an occasional roach in the house given that we share walls with other tenants.  Oh and he knows he is lazy.  He'd rather play than work.  I think we all wish we could do that.  He feels entitled to play because he works hard.  Well yes he does work hard I'll give you that but he has been on vacation now for more than 70 days.  I'd like to have some play time too.  Right now while this is being typed up I'm on my second load of three loads of laundry not to forget the load of diapers and Little E's clothing that I'll be doing tonight like I do every night after 8 P.M.

I think when he goes back to work next week my house will remain a bit cleaner, I hope.  I know that when he deploys again soon I'll miss his messes and his loud ways.  (He walks loud and slams doors without realizing he does it.)  But maybe for a change I won't miss it quite as much with having the baby and the cat for company.

As for me having him buy me the ring.  I do deserve it.  He forgets to give flowers, cards or even gifts for birthday, Christmas, Valentine's day, Mother's day, anniversary and so on.  I'm lucky if I get a hug these days as he isn't very demonstrative either.  His wall he put in place all those years ago is stronger than ever and even after 5 years of marriage counseling he still claims he doesn't realize it is there.