Trouble In Paradise

There are days I'd just like to call it quits and run away from home.  I've now had a weekend of these days.

I do not have a self-cleaning home.  Therefore, why does my husband think I spend all day doing nothing?

Its not that I don't appreciate his hard work and sacrifices but I would like to have mine acknowledged too.  Too often he thinks that me sitting at home means that I do nothing and I have all the free time in the world to play.  Tell me when does this happen?  From the moment I hit the boards in the morning to the minute I hit the pillow at night I'm busy doing something to make his life easier.

The next few months aren't going to make our relationship any easier if he doesn't realize that I too have value in this marriage.  The next few months are going to be full of preparing for his upcoming deployment and with me being on one hell of an emotional roller coaster with the hormone injections for IVF.

So with that said, when I ask him to help out with the chores around the house so that we can get going to go on our date I expect him to be willing.  Today we had planned on going horseback riding and have a timed appointment with the place to do so.  Right now I'm thinking its not going to happen.  I told him to go for a walk because I needed a few minutes to myself to get the laundry going, change the sheets on the bed, vacuum the floor, get dressed because I had just taken a shower and I had to empty the dishwasher.  Could he have helped out with any of this?  Yes he could have.  Did he try?  Sort of.  But he purposely screwed up the making of the bed  to the point he just about short sheeted it.  Come on now, seriously dude?  The Army taught you how to make a darn bed.

So yes, I'm pissed off.  Yes this is a rant.  Do I know where he went for a walk?  Nope.  No clue when he'll be back either.  The front door and garage door are open for him.  He has the spare key too.  So its not like he is locked out.  If he wants to act immature that is his problem but for now I need some time to figure out where this all went wrong.

Maybe it started with him refusing to share the bed with me last night.  Oh yes, I'm really dishing now.  I said I wouldn't go that far in my blog but there are times that I need to vent.  He decided he wanted to sleep in his recliner.  Every time he gets ready to deploy he really turns into one hell of a dick.

Its typical of the soldiers to put up this wall to protect themselves.  If they withdraw from the family then they won't have them so much on their mind when they are deployed.  I've been told this by the chaplain in family counseling.  The thing is, I'm tired of this crap.  I could understand a month or even two weeks before they leave but he still has a bit more than that before he leaves.  Really, from what I've seen around my neighborhood my husband's attitude is no worse than that of the rest of the soldiers that are leaving in the next few months.  Everyone is on edge.

This IVF couldn't come at a worse time but its our last chance.  There won't be any more after this with my age.  I explained to him last night that a child might be the only thing I have left of him.  He said he still likes to think of himself as a kid and as invincible.  I think about reality.  I think about the what if's.  I'm a planner.  I hope for the best and prepare for the worst.  Right now I'm not liking his attitude but in a few months I know I'll most likely be missing even that bad part of him.  Heck, I miss him right now and he's just gone for a walk to blow off some steam.

Four Day Weekend

I'm so happy to finally have a long weekend with my husband.  Maybe if we are lucky we'll get the chance to go horseback riding.

Our belated birthday celebration/date night, celebrated the day after he got home, was interrupted by a well meaning friend.  Since then things have been off kilter a bit with us.  Our date was going so well up until that particular point.  No means No in my book and folks need to understand that when I tell them no.  But this person was insistent.

I'm not going to mention the person's name but seriously they over stepped their bounds and it bugs me.  I've been wanting to talk to that person but I'm not sure what to say to them.  For now I guess, until I have something nice to say to them, I'll let it go.  The time J and I  had together got mucked up by the intrusion.  Its now lost.  Our time together is precious with the upcoming year which will most likely be spent apart.

I think I'll just have to take some time to reassess some friendships I have, their boundaries, and why I'm not being taken seriously when I say no.

So for now I'm really looking forward to this long weekend.  We've been needing this time together for a while.  Soon I'll be on the hormone injections and I can't say for sure what my mood will be like or what I'll be up to besides the possible temper tantrum, crying jag, or wallowing in self-pity that too many hormones can cause.

I'm still losing weight so maybe that will be my bright light in the darkness of my moods.  Maybe I can cling to the hope that I'll reduce my risk factor even a tad.  Right now I'd score a 26 for high risk pregnancy.  10 is the minimum I'd need to be considered a high risk pregnancy.  If I can just eliminate the overweight factor I can drop it by 5 points.

So much going on in my head today, my thoughts are scattered.  But yes, I'm truly looking forward to some quality time with the manflesh.

Date Night; French Food

Tonight my husband asked me out on a date.  I was still all dressed up from the doctor's appointment I had early this morning.  Why not?  I looked good today.  I felt even better too.

We couldn't decide on what we wanted to eat before we left the house so I turned on our portable navigation system and hit French for food choices.  I've learned to make some very tasty French dishes this year and my husband has enjoyed eating them.

The nearest French restaurant to our military installation was La Creme Brulee. 
http://www.lacremebrulee.com/

Wonderful food.  For starters we both had the  Soupe A L'Oignon.  Its actually French Onion Soup for those who aren't familiar with the French language.

My entree' was the Pasta Rigate with Shrimps, Spinach and Clams served with a Creamy Garlic Sauce and side salad.  Large portions.  I ended up taking half my bowl home with me.

My husband had the Traditional Boeuf Bourgignon with Carrots, side salad and Pomme Frites which are french fries.

The service is excellent and so is the atmosphere.  I do recommend reservations.  We didn't have one but were lucky enough to get a table, not an easy feat on a Friday night.

They took an old bar and turned it into a server station which made the place quite unique.  French music was piped in through the sound system with a slide show of places in Europe, not just France.

"French born and Parisian schooled Chef Bertrand, an authentic award-winning Parisian chef, has worked in world-class restaurants all over the world.  From fine restaurants in Paris, New York, Los Angeles and The Orient, Chef Bertrand now brings his unique blue ribbon expertise and delicious European cuisine, affordable choice wines and delectable desserts to our small corner of the world.
La Crème Brûlée (The Burnt Cream) French Bistro, located in the heart of Steilacoom’s historical district, opened its doors in the midst of a beautiful red-skyed sunset on a quiet warm-breezy late summer evening in September, 2005.  After viewing the breathtaking panorama of Puget Sound and the Olympic Mountains that only Steilacoom affords, Chef Bertrand fell in love with the little town and decided to open his restaurant on Lafayette Street.  He was so inspired by the beauty and majesty of the area that he knew his restaurant would have to be something very special, very eligant yet affordable and casual, something that Steilacoom had never seen before.   And he did just that!
Naming his romantically themed, Parisian-atmosphered restaurant after the world-famous French dessert “Crème Brûlée,” Chef Bertrand has become somewhat of a local mini-celebrity.  With people from all over the Puget Sound region stopping in to savor the newest additions to his collection of French wines, palate pleasing plates and delicious European desserts, Chef Bertrand couldn’t be happier.
“Come spend the evening with us and enjoy a night in Paris,” he says.  Through sight, sound, taste and ambiance, La Crème Brûlée French Bistro truly is the next best thing to being there!
- Staff"

I hope those of you that live around the Puget Sound get a chance to stop at La Creme Brulee to dine on their cuisine.  Give your spouses a nudge in their direction for your Date Night.