Relaxing

Photo by me of me taken today.  I'm relaxing today.  Well trying to at the least.  Today was a marriage counseling session.  J and I are working on building a better us and trying to decrease the stress he brings home with him. 

Yes, he's been getting on my nerves and raising my blood pressure.  Its not healthy for me to have it that high.  Our counselor has now suggested a better way for J to deal with his work stress so that he doesn't bring home as much of it.  He told him to take up to 20 minutes when he gets home and just putter about the garage or in another room and leave me be. 

I can't handle his stress.  I've told him that there is nothing that I can do for him to fix any issue he might have with his job.  That is a solid fact.  I'm not a soldier I'm just a soldier's wife.  I can cook, clean, help raise a family but I cannot and will not tell him how to do his job.

So this afternoon we went to the pharmacy and picked up my script for the double strength blood pressure medicine Labetalol.  I now take 400 mg a day of it.  Three years ago I took just 100 mg once a day.  There is only so much Zen breathing, Yoga and a low sodium diet can do when there is so much stress in my life.  Going through an IVF cycle is very stressful!

Still a photo of me taken by me today.  I'm wearing one of the gifts that J gave me for our anniversary.  Its a very interesting pendant which is handcrafted.  Its a drusi stone in the center with mother of pearl discs on the two sides and two silver leaves, one above and one below.  I loved this pendant the moment I saw it and I had to have it.  Lila Drake in Port Townsend is just the jewelry store I need when I want to find that unique piece at a great price.

Oh the sweater is new too.  Since I've lost so much weight I deserved the sweater from the clearance rack at the Eddie Bauer outlet.  I went shopping there last weekend with J and my bestie S.  We are planning on going back there again soon.  Who knows maybe this long weekend.

I'm starting to learn that shopping can be a great stress reliever as long as the stores aren't that crowded and you are with good friends.  I've never been one to like to shop but I think I might be changing my mind about that particular contact sport.

First IVF Scan

Well today was a bit of a busy day.  It was also a day of disappointments.

I'm waiting for a phone call to let me know if I'm allowed to go ahead with my stim shots this coming Monday or if they are going to halt this IVF cycle.

Yesterday was my cardiology appointment.  I'm all in the clear with them.  Even though my EKG showed some abnormal it was within limits.  My labetalol dosage is now doubled to keep my blood pressure under better control.  I'm ready.

But maybe my ovaries aren't so ready.  I had my estradiol blood work done promptly at 0715 hrs.  I was there at the laboratory at 0658 hrs pulling a tab for my number to get called.  I had real hopes, until the scan.

0800 hrs and I'm sitting in the waiting room at the REI office.  My appointment is now but I'm still waiting to get called back.  I'm anxious.  I want to see if the endometriomas are gone.  I'm frustrated because I'm bleeding and I'm not sure that I'm supposed to be.

0820 hrs.  Finally I'm in the exam room.  Of course they stick me in the smallest one this time.  What did I do to deserve the small room?  Only one patient was before me and I know darn well that there are three big rooms with private bathrooms so why do I get the smallest one without a bathroom?

0840 hrs.  I'm cold sitting here on the exam table, wearing a paper sheet covering my lower half and just a thin silk shirt on the upper half.  Where is my doctor?

5 minutes later he finally shows up.  Then the bad news starts.

I'm supposed to have a bleed this week so that is all fine and dandy.  I have four follicles on the right ovary.  I have four follicles on the left ovary.  Well that's a start.  Not bad for a chic my age.  But wait is that a cyst we see?  NOOOOOO!  I tried to tell the doctor its right where the other endometrioma was but he says it looks more fluid filled unlike the one next to it with the shadow in it.

Okay so what now.  I'm told that this cycle might not happen.  I have to wait for the results of the blood test now.

I'm bummed.

In about an hour I'll know if I can go ahead with the stimulation shots or not.  If not where do we go from here?  I've taken 11 Lupron injections.  I want to have an egg retrieval but its not my decision.  If my estradiol level is below 50 then I'm good to go but just how far below 50 is allowable?  If I'm at 49 will they still allow it?

Yes, now I sit here and wait for the phone to ring.  Now I wonder if I'll get to graduate to the next shots.  Pitiful.

 *****NEWS FLASH****

Just got word from the REI clinic and its good.  My estradiol level was only 32!  I can start the stim shots on Monday as previous planned.  Woo hoo! 

Odd how excited a person can get about getting shots. I'm sure most IF peeps can understand the excitement.

White and Milk Chocolate Chip Macadamia Nut Cookies

Its that time again.  Time to make cookies for the soldiers at the COF.  This week I created my own recipe for cookies.  I had a special request from one of the soldiers to make white and milk chocolate chip cookies with macadamia nuts in them.  I have to say they are mighty tasty too and I'm enjoying my second cookie now.  Not to worry this recipe made just under 6 dozen cookies so there are plenty to go around even with me enjoying two of the cookies.

Here is my recipe:

White & Milk Chocolate Chip Macadamia Nut Cookies

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. finely ground Celtic Sea Salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup golden Imperial brown sugar firmly packed
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract ( I make my own vanilla extract)
2 large eggs
1 cup Nestle Toll House milk chocolate chips
1 cup Nestle Toll House white chocolate chips
1 cup chopped Diamond brand Macadamia nuts

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Combine: flour, baking soda and salt in a small bowl.  Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in a large mixing bowl (I use my stand mixer) until creamy.  Add eggs, one at a time.  Gradually add flour mixture.  Finally add in the chips and nuts and finish mixing the batter.  Drop by rounded teaspoon onto an ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake for 9 minutes.  The cookies will spread out to the point of almost touching at times.  Let cool for about 2 minutes on the pan before transferring to a wire cooling rack.

Makes about 5 to 6 dozen cookies depending on the size of the dough pieces you put on the cookie sheet. 

If you like your cookies large of course you'll have less of them, its a no brainer.  The soldiers at the COF like them a bit smaller so I usually get about 5.5 dozen cookies from a batch.

Its A Hodge Podge Day

Its one of those days again.  J had a long weekend.  He had told me earlier in the week that it was a three day weekend but he forgot to mention that it was indeed a four day weekend until late Friday night.  He said he thought I knew.  If I knew then I would have made plans for a four day weekend.

Oh and for him its a three day work week this week since he has Friday off too.  How am I supposed to get stuff done around here with him under my feet?  Its not like he is a child whom I can send to their room to go clean it, he is a grown man that makes a mess!

So today is my Monday Tuesday again.  Today I'm doing laundry, stripping the bed and putting away the Summer coverlet to don the Winter comforter once again.  The photo of the blanket above is my representation of hodge podge.  Oh and I've yet to find a buyer for the blanket.  I sent a former FRG member the link to my blog on the blanket and asked for her assistance in finding me a buyer for it but as of yet no luck.  Remember the money will go to a charity for the soldiers.

Tonight is the 10th Lupron shot.  I'm no longer on the birth control and soon I'll start the stim shots. Over the next two days I have no less than five doctor appointments.  Thursday morning is my suppression scan to see what is what inside of me.

The anesthesiologist from SRM called me while I was out on Saturday and booked a phone appointment with me for yesterday at 1100 hrs.  He wanted to know my medical history to make sure I got the right stuff to knock me out.  I didn't know  I was going to be given anything stronger than the vicodin  of which I was instructed to take with me to the procedure.  I'm so happy to hear that I'll not be really awake for the egg retrieval.  The thought of that big needle poking about inside of me was rather daunting and I was afraid of crying out in pain when they said it wouldn't really hurt me.  Well it would have been nice of them to have told me that I'll be under heavy sedation.

My phone is driving me nuts this morning.  In the last hour I've had no less than four phone calls.  One of which my husband tells me he locked his gear away at work but forgot the key.  How typical.  Now he has to cut the lock.  Oh but before he tells me he is going to cut the lock he tells me exactly what the key ring looks like that holds that particular key.  So I'm looking for the key ring.  I don't see it.  He says to me that he had already decided to cut it.  So really why was he having me look for it when I have no transportation to get him that key anyway?  I guess he thinks that I have nothing better to do with my morning than to help him look for his lost possessions.  Oh I'm fuming over that one.  I may have forgiven him for saying that he thinks I do nothing around the house but I won't forget it.  I told him, "I don't call you at your work place over something so trivial as a lock so why are you calling me at my place of work over a trivial matter?".  He realized he was being petty, silly, and rather stupid.  Now if he had called me to tell me he loves me it would have been a different matter all together.

Yes the Lupron is making me cranky.  Seriously though today I was chasing a dancing washing machine in the laundry room, I moved a heavy chest, vacuumed, I'm on the second of three loads of laundry and I'm doing the bills.  But I have plenty of time on my hands, according to my spouse, to look for a now defunct key.  Right!

Breaking My Fast With My Spouse

Busy morning around here today.  I've been attempting to blog in-between phone calls and laundry loads.  Finally I can tell you all about the amazing breakfast food I had with my husband this morning.

It all began yesterday.  Yesterday I went shopping with my husband and my bestie S.  We went to Centralia to look for antiques and to shop at the outlet malls.  All of us found some really good bargains.  My husband found his best bargain in the town of Onalaska where he is getting a new wood stock put on his 12 gauge shotgun.

After we arrived back on the military installation yesterday we stopped to get some grocery items.  I need a few things to make the French Toast Casserole that my bestie S shared on her blog the other day.  I had the bread left over from my own recipe the other day and it was so perfect for the casserole but I still needed more half and half and the pecans.

J cut the bread up for me last night and put it in the glass baking dish.  I did the rest to prepare it last night.  This morning I made up the praline topping.  I have to say this dish is divine.  I couldn't eat a whole portion it was so big.  It does serve 8 with large pieces.

Now I dare you to go make the casserole and not drool from the smells of it baking in the oven!

Today we are off to go to more antique places and to a birthday bar-b-Que.

Three Day Weekend

Finally its the weekend.  Time for some therapeutic shopping for the husband.  That of course means gun shopping.  Sounds bad I know but not really since he is just trying to get a wooden stock and foregrip put on an old shotgun that was his granddad's and some parts he needs for another gun to have it work with different caliber ammunition.

He needs this play time.  That's all I'm going to say.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Baking Warms More Than The Heart...

...It also warms the hearth and home.  I got home from my DBT class today and the house was a rather chilly 64 F.  I have the thermostat set for 63 F.  I'm trying to lessen my footprint on this earth where I can.

So I decided I would use the oven to make my lunch of two corn tortillas and a baked potato.  Potatoes are low sodium and high potassium foods plus the corn tortillas I baked were only 5 mg of sodium.  I get a full stomach and good for me food.

I couldn't justify turning the oven on for such a small thing as my lunch and using the microwave draws even more electricity than you'd think.  The oven being gas is a gem to cook and bake with.  So, I'm baking white bread today.  Only 8 mg of sodium per slice in this particular recipe. 

I have no idea how its going to turn out as I've never used this recipe before.  For all I know I will have wasted all those ingredients but its still worth the experiment plus my house gets heated for the afternoon.

  As my dough is still rising the above photo is what I hope it will look like.  Below you can find the recipe I used and modified of course.  I used olive oil instead of spray oil to oil the bowl and loaf pans plus I used the olive oil in the recipe where it states vegetable oil.

BASIC WHITE BREAD

1/4 cup lukewarm water
2 TBSP acceptable vegetable oil
2   1/4 ounce packages of active dry yeast
6 cups all purpose flour, divided use plus more as needed
1 3/4 cups fat free milk                                                     
3 TBSP sugar                                                       
Vegetable oil spray

Pour water into a large bowl.  Add yeast and stir to dissolve.  Let stand for 5 minutes until mixture bubbles.

Stir milk, sugar, and oil into yeast mixture.

Gradually stir 4 cups flour into yeast mixture.  Beat with a sturdy spoon for about 30 seconds, or until smooth.

Gradually add up to 1 1/2 cups flour, about 1/4 cup at a time, stirring after each addition, until dough starts to pull away from side of bowl.

Lightly four a flat surface; turn dough out onto floured surface.  Gradually knead in remaining flour for  6 to 8 minutes, or until dough is smooth and elastic.  (Dough shouldn't be dry or stick to surface.  You may not need all the four, or you may need up to 1/2 cup more if dough is too sticky.)

Lightly spray a large bowl with vegetable oil spray.  Put dough in a bowl and turn to coat all sides.  Cover bowl with a damp dish towel and let dough rise in a warm, draft-free place (about 85 F) until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.

Punch down dough.  Divide in half and shape into loaves.  Lightly spray two 10x5x3 inch loaf pans with vegetable oil spray.  Pout dough into loaf pans.  Cover each with a damp dish towel and let dough rise in a warm, draft-free place ( about 85 F ) until doubled in bulk, about 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 425 F.

Bake loaves for 25 to 30 minutes, or until bread registers 190 F on a instant-read thermometer or sounds hollow when rapped with knuckles.  Invert  bread on cooling racks.  Let cool for 15 to 20 minutes before cutting.

Serving size 1 slice
Calories 103
Protein 3 g
Carbohydrates 20 g
Cholesterol 0 mg
Total Fat 1 g
  Saturated 0 g
  Polyunsaturated 0 g
  Monounsaturated 1 g
Fiber 1 g
Sodium 8 mg
Potassium 56 mg
Calcium  20 mg