CD 18 10DPO

I listed this hat at my shop  today.  Someone added the blue version of this particular hat to their treasury list.  I'm so happy to know that someone out there likes what I'm creating.

I called my RE office today and left a message requesting that the P4 and E2 be added to Monday's labs.  Nurse J called me back and said that she added it on for me.  Nope, no mention to me about the rest of the message I left.  I told them that I had been in chronic pain.  It hurts to walk with the pain radiating down my right leg from the pelvis.  I swear if it was Nurse M or Nurse S I would have been told to come in asap.

Oh well!

Yesterday I reviewed the full copy of medical records sent to my address.  Seems that they included more than just the infertility ones.  I'm okay with that.  I found out something interesting from the last visit with the cardiologist that was in his personal notes.  I'll get to that in a minute.  What I did notice in my infertility records is that only Lt.Col. B. refers to me as Rebecca.   All the other doctors have referred to me in their notes by age and female patient.   Is there any wonder why I like Lt.Col. B. so much?  He has a wonderful beside manner too.  I just wish that he wasn't away from the clinic right now.

After scouring all my reports I have this to say:  the transcribers need to learn how to spell and to check what they are typing out.  The doctors need to listen up.  Two large errors:  1)  I am not bipolar I have borderline personality disorder and yes there is a difference, 2) I do not have children.  They keep listing me as having two children.  When did I have them?  Are they invisible to me and my spouse?  So I'll need to address this little issue with my record when next I see my PCM which will be Monday.  At least they finally got my race corrected.

Now for the cardiology report.
Telemetry ECG: Sinus rhythm with sinus arrhythmia 77 beats per minute, normal axis, no pathologic Q waves, left atrial abnormality, QRS 84 ms, QTC 450 seconds.

I looked this up.  It seems to go hand in hand with the diagnosis that I was given  22 years ago in an ER by the neurologist, Dr. Mosby I think was his name,  that saw me that day.  I was given propranolol to take care of the issue while the patient in the bed next to me was given anti-anxiety meds.  I thought that there must have been a mistake since I was only 21 at the time.  There wasn't but I didn't like the side effects of the medicine and trashed it.  My diagnosis back then was abnormally shaped heart with mitral valve prolapse starting.  So yes, I still have the issue but its still not going to kill me any time soon.  It seems as though only my respirations are affecting the sinus rhythm right now and I have no intention of holding my breath.   I'm on labetalol since the heart attack I had in March of 2009.  Life goes on.

Oh and the hpt was stark white again today.  I think we have a cyst growing.
symptoms:
sore breasts
pelvic pain bilateral with some uterine cramping
vivid dreams and some nightmares
hungry

CD 17 9DPO

I posted this item at my shop today along with matching moon earrings.

So I caved in today and tested at home.  I was going to wait until tomorrow but with the symptoms I was having I needed to eliminate a factor.  Yes the test was negative.  I really didn't expect it to be positive since I know it's still early.  I'll test again tomorrow.

Last night I had a lot of right side groin pain.  It made walking rather difficult as the pain radiated down my right side to the knee.  I had J get my cane for me so I could walk supported to the bathroom at least.  I'm thinking that I have a cyst again.  The E2 number didn't drop low enough and the cyst that was on the right side was only 2.5 from the 5 it was before but we all know I'm special.  I also have a follicle cyst as of last week on the left side that was measuring a 3.

Symptoms:
I've now lost 3 pounds in two days
pelvic pain bilateral
pain radiating down right leg making walking difficult
sore breasts
hunger
oh and even though I've lost weight my jeans are tighter than ever in the lower pelvic region just above the pubic hair line.

This isn't looking good folks.  If I get another cyst it's going to put using donor eggs back farther on the shelf than I had hoped.  Sure a pregnancy would have or would be nice but I'm having my doubts about it being pregnancy symptoms.  Monday can't get her quick enough.  I think Friday I'll give the RE a call again and ask them to add E2 and P4 to the lab test.  Something isn't good.

Today's mail was all mine.  That is surprising to me since of late most of it has been J's.  He received his glasses and college materials in the mail the past two weeks.  Today I'm the winner though I'm not so sure that is a good thing.  One of the pieces of mail I received was 9 x 13 inch 1/2 inch thick envelope from my hospital.  Maybe its the records they finally got around to copying?  I'll open it now to find out.  Yup good guess.  It did say Department of the Army Commander Madigan on it.  I requested a few records, infertility ones, back in July...took a bit to get them huh?  Now I have something to read today.

#######UPDATE######
From the doctor notes on 4 Sept with Major S.  Got to love this one.  I have two follicles on the left ovary and one on the right.  She never told me I had more than one on the left.  Largest one was the one recorded and told to me besides the one on the right.  SO um, could I have ovulated two eggs?  Well not like it matters much now.

CD 16 8DPO

I listed these today at my shop along with a matching hat.

Sighs...so much on my mind of late.  I don't want to think about all of it at once because I'll probably stress out.

1)  Still no idea if J might be able to re-enlist.  He does have some back issues from all that gear they are made to carry around.  It caused the natural curve in his back to disappear.  Now they are trying, through adjustments, to get it back.

2)  I'm feeling odd.  So tired.  Last night I ate like a pig and lost almost 2 pounds.  I mean come on I ate three meals and two snack then pigged out by eating a pack of zingers and a whole pint of full fat ice cream.  What is the deal?  Why did I lose weight?  That can't be normal.

3) Seems like my viewers on my blog are slowly deserting me.  Have I offended them?  Well it is my blog and I have the right to post here what I want right?

4)  It's 9/11 and I swear the US has forgotten.  Seems like they only want to vote it in as a holiday so that they can get an extra day off of work.

5) Seems like the US has also forgotten that we still have a war going on .  On average there is one death per day of this war.  After 11 years that adds up folks.  Families have been torn apart.  Fathers, brothers, sister, mothers, sons, daughters haven't come home except in coffins or what they could scrape up to put into the box.  So many have come home injured bodily and mentally.   Why have we forgotten them?  Why do we just center our attention for one day a year on the Twin Towers?  Did we forget the plane that crash landed in the field or how about the plane that crashed into the Pentagon?  Seems like all we remember is NYC.

Blood Test Results

At 1455 hrs Pacific Time Nurse M ( my favorite one) called me with the results.  Before giving me the results she asked me what we were expecting.  I said that I was thinking that perhaps another cyst with the symptoms I'm having.

Here are the results for 7 DPO:
Estridol (E2) was 124
Progesterone (P4) was 9.73

Though I'd like to see the E2 lower and the P4 higher it is only 7 DPO.  Hopefully my unmedicated, totally natural cycle will fix itself.  The E2 level means that there is possibly some cyst activity.  The P4 level means that I ovulated accordingly.  Wishing it were a solid 10 but like Nurse M said its only .27 off from it.  I guess give it another day.

So the symptoms could be leaning either way.  I told Nurse M that I realize we could schedule a beta HCG for next week Monday which will be 14 DPO but I'm scared because that will only be CD21.  She wants to schedule the beta.  She is always nurse hopeful.

Thursday I can start POAS.  I'm holding back until then because I'll be 10 DPO by then and I might stand a better chance of seeing a faint line by that day.  If I don't that is okay too because I realize it is early still.

Yes it could be early pregnancy symptoms.  It could be PMS or another ovarian cyst.  I'm not going to dwell on it and I'll get back to the hat I'm currently crocheting.  I'm trying to see if I can make an adult variation of the baby hats I've made for my shop.

Off to the kitchen I go to make supper.  Organic no hormones Turkey for the turkey meatloaf, Yukon gold potatoes mixed with the last of the potatoes I grew this year for mashed potatoes and french cut string beans.  One of J's favorite meals.  Last night I made red cabbage and bockwurst for him.

If some how I turn out to be pregnant naturally again, its been almost a year since that fete, I'm going to seriously have to figure out just how the heck my body allowed it again.  Oh and definitely hope that this one will stick if there is one in there and I'll be praying that it will be healthy with my ancient eggs.

CD 15 7DPO

Available for purchase in my shop.

Well as I type this I'm waiting to get the results from my lab work at 0845 hrs.  I have to wait at least until 1045 hrs to call the clinic.

I'm glad I went into my clinic today before going to the lab.  I was going to request that the blood draw be a STAT.  Turns out that Nurse J never even had Major S put in the lab request.  Now I'm not liking Major S or Nurse J all that much today.  Guessing Dr.B. was on hand today as the blood work paper stated his name on it and not Major S.
Nurse S is wonderful.  I spoke with her and told her what is going on with me symptom wise.  I'm afraid to say that I think I might be developing another ovarian cyst.  So Nurse S had Dr.B.  (one of whom did my surgery the other being Lt.Col. B) put in my request for an E2 level as well as the  P4.

symptoms today:
bi-lateral pelvic pain
back ache
sore breasts
uterine cramping
fatigue from having a week of insomnia (it's getting to be hard to fall asleep at night.  maybe I should take naps during the day?)
hungry

I'm really hoping the E2 level is going down from the 316 of last week Tuesday.  When my estrogen is up my breasts start to hurt along with the other symptoms listed above.  Oh I realize they could also be PMS or early pregnancy symptoms.  I'm so used to the ovarian cyst pain symptoms though that I doubt it could be anything else.

I'll blog about the lab results once I find out what they are.

CD 14 6 DPO

So I had a horrible nightmare this morning.  I thought about the nightmare and it seemed to have a bit of a moral to the storyline.

In my dream I was driving to Florida with my husband to tell my parents that I was pregnant.  I get to their condo and find it's a murder scene.  Home invasion.  The body aren't covered up.  It's a mess.  My brother showed up before I did and he is now laying claim to all my parents possessions.  I started crying.  Not because of the loss of the possessions but because I had lost my parents.  The only thing I wanted in the dream after my parents were removed was two cookbooks that had been in the family for a while.

So after waking up I evaluated the dream.  It's best to not wait to tell my parents when I do get pregnant again even if it means that they will have to possibly deal with me losing another one.  Yes, I had thought to not tell them until I was in the fourth month.  Too much heart ache to let them know sooner but really I think with my dad's health being so bad it's best to tell him right away.  He is living on borrowed time.

I've also learned that most things I could care less about owning that were my parents.  I just truly do want the two cookbooks.  If my brother, who is quite greedy about material things, wants it all I'll most likely not fight him.

No my parents no longer have their condo in Florida so the likelihood of this dream happening is basically nil.

Symptoms of either pregnancy or PMS:

Breasts are a bit sore---could be too much estrogen and another cyst forming
Tight feeling and some cramping in the uterus----could be endo and adenomyosis pain
Bi-lateral pelvic twinges today and last night---could be cyst pain.
Heightened sense of smell----maybe my sinuses are starting to clear up!  Yay!


I listed two more pairs of baby booties in my shop today.   http://www.etsy.com/shop/darendianadesigns?section_id=12104337

CD 13 5DPO

Interesting day yesterday.

I fired my lawyer.

I got really annoyed by someone that I thought I could trust.  No not the husband.

I had pain on the left side in my pelvis.

So lets start with the lawyer.  I fired my work comp lawyer yesterday.  I need a letter from the firm stating that I no longer use them as representation.  For four years I haven't received a dime of monies owed to me.  My TENs unit died they say they can't help me.  Turns out they archived my case a few years ago.  Yes, archived it as in they don't care.  So I'm going to deal directly with the insurance carrier myself.  I spoke with them on the phone yesterday.  They instructed me what to do and gave me the name of my case worker.  Funny I had just asked my lawyer who my case worker was and they gave me the wrong name and a non-working number.  Mind you this was before I called them back and told them that they were fired.  They have no clue what is going on with my case.  I explained to the insurance company that I recently re-injured the same body part.   Its chronically unstable or so my doctors have told me.

Now as for the betrayer of my trust.  I'd like to write quite a bit about it on here but unfortunately the offender does occasionally read my blog.  Let's just say that I can no longer trust this person and will slowly wean off contact with them.  It will just seem like we've grown apart is all.  I've told my husband about this person and one other person that is a blogger and good friend on facebook.  I know my husband and my friend on facebook won't rat me out.

Last night I had some pain on the left side of my pelvis.  This morning my uterus was feeling really tight when I did my morning stretches.  I went pee, wiped of course, and noticed a tan-ish discharge in the mucus.  Kind of early for the spotting of my period to begin.  Still might be a bit early for implantation bleeding to start.  Though it is possible I suppose I mean my body is weird like that.  I did ovulate on CD 8 which is really early.  Well whatever it is I'll know more about what is going on in my body on Monday when I get my P4 levels checked.  Hopefully Nurse J marked it stat and not routine.  If its routine I could be waiting days to find out my levels.  Maybe I should stop by their clinic first to ask if they could mark it stat for me?

ETSY shop is updated with two new items today.  J is busy making an antiqued silver color (gunmetal) chainmaille bracelet today.  I'll post it when he is finished.  Could take him another week to finish it since he is really busy with his homework today too.