Thursday, June 14, 2012

Enough is Enough

CD 49.  I'm waiting and not so patiently.  If this doesn't start soon I'll have to ask for something to get it started and we all know that it could cause more issues.  Sure I have some lovage root around here that might just get it going but I'm truly afraid right now with the incisions.  The cramps I get with endo are bad and can bring me to my knees. 3 of the incisions have white on them under the dermabond...I'm wondering if they are infected.  I'll know more next week when I walk to my appointment.  Its only about a mile there and a mile back to the house.  I should be up to the walk next week.

Thinking of the endometriosis just makes me want to give up trying.  I'll be 43 soon.  I have almost enough saved up now to try for the frozen donor eggs but what if it doesn't work?  And I'd have no nest egg left to fix the car of which I've been putting off.  And if they do decide to kick J out of the Army I'd have nothing to fall back on until we get jobs.  Oh, yes I'd have to find a job too even though I'm handicapped.

I'm still hoping for that miracle good quality egg to show up like it did after the first IVF.  I got pregnant last year without meds but it didn't stick around long.  I'm hoping that J and I can do the injections for a couple of cycles before we have to make the bank draining next step.

I think that come December we might be calling it quits.  I don't want to but it seems like I might not have a choice. 


4 comments:

  1. I didnt know you were considering DE cycle? I am following another person going through that right now and from everything I have read, the results are fantastic. I hope whatever decision you make that you are at peace :)

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    Replies
    1. If we can still afford it come December we are planning on doing it early next year. But that is a big "IF" at this point.

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  2. Sorry to hear that. Thinking of you.

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