Monday, December 2, 2013

A Little Miffed on Syntax

I am an Army Wife.  I'm very proud of being an Army Wife.  But I don't need others telling me what I should and shouldn't be feeling.

Oh you know who you are.  And yes I'm going to step on some unnamed toes here.

You who aren't military spouses have a different sort of life from mine right down to your pregnancies.  You would probably love to use the now PC "we" when stating pregnancy.  I am not a royal and in no way will I use the third person when describing my pregnancy.  My husband is not pregnant.  I am pregnant.  Kudos to you for wanting to use the "we" with your pregnancy.

I won't state "we" and I do correct my husband when he tries to use it.  He can most definitely state that his wife is due to deliver in (insert month here) when he talking to others and I am not there.  He is more than welcome to in my presence to use the "we" are going to be parents.  But in no way is he carrying the child/ren within him.  No he shouldn't be getting special concessions for the pregnancy.  He is a soldier and his job is the Army with family second.

Case in point.  I was too tired to attend church this Sunday.  1100 hrs the phone rings.  I pick it up.  His soldier called to tell me she is looking for my husband.  I tell her he is at church and unavailable until 1130 hrs.  She gives me a message to pass on to him.  He had to report into work for a problem.  Would I have loved to have spent all of Sunday with my spouse?  Yes.  But that doesn't happen often.

I don't claim that "we" are in the Army!  I don't make claims to any of my husband's accolades.  He has earned what he has by doing his job and at times doing even more.

We will hopefully be parents next summer.  We are having a baby.  But in no way is he pregnant.  He doesn't get injected. He doesn't have to apply patches to his body.  He doesn't vomit from the hormones.  He doesn't have the cravings.

I do think he deserves some credit for donating his gametes, driving me to the appointments when he was able to make a few of them, and for listening to me talk about my fears.  But folks you do need to remember "we" is the third person and I'm not a royal.  When he and I are together and discussing the pregnancy with others "we" is just fine.


  1. It is such a very different lifestyle being married to the miliitary. I don't think most people truly understand just how different it is. When I think back to my time as an Army wife it almost doesn't seem real to me anymore.
    Down with the royal we!

  2. I'm obviously not a military spouse, but the "we" drives me nuts, too. We made the baby and we parent together, but I was the only one pregnant. I worked to put my husband through school, but we didn't get the PhD; he did.

    That being said, I'm very happy for both of you.


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