Questions on Hysterectomy

Hey All,
Just wanted to know if any of you ladies out there have ever experienced bleeding almost 6 months after your hysterectomy, those that have had one I mean.  I've been in a lot of pain of late.  Surgery is set for next month for the endometriosis.  Last night I started to bleed, just lightly, and well it is really odd because I don't have a uterus.  Yes, the bleeding was way up inside...I checked.  Hell after all those years of checking for my cervix position I do know how to still check for it since it is there.

Just let me know in the comments section if any of you have experienced any of this.

Bit of a Scare

Well this is pelvic news so if you don't want to read it I advise you to click away from the page now.

Some of you will recall that I have a 9 cm cyst on my left ovary.  I'm also pregnant.

I've been having a lot of cramping the last four days and I thought it was most likely just the uterus growing as I reached 16 weeks yesterday.

Well last night the pain was horrible.  It felt like I had a steel rod rammed up my bum and out through my pelvis on the left side.  I'm guessing the cyst is crabby.

This morning I passed some bloody tissue and had a minor amount of pink spotting.  Yes I freaked out a bit.  But I gave myself a pep talk because I wasn't gushing blood.

Tomorrow is my scheduled OB check up of which I will ask if they can ultrasound the pelvis to check on the status of the ovarian cyst.  Hoping they comply with my request.

I'll let all of you know how it goes after the appointment.

The First Scare of the Pregnancy

Woke up to some bleeding this morning.  No not the expected brownish red but the scary bright red kind.  I've been getting sharp pains for the past week in my pelvis.

When I move it is like something inside my pelvis doesn't want to move with me.  When I stretch I get an immediate pain that makes me curl back up and whimper.

I called PNW and spoke to my nurse Nicole.  She sent a fax to Madigan clinic and wanted me to be seen today.  They then decided that Monday would most likely be better since at this point in the pregnancy seeing a gestational sac might be difficult.  However, Monday Madigan is all booked up so it will have to wait and hopefully I can get in to see them on Tuesday.

If the pain and bleeding get worse I'll go to the ER.  I'm allowed to take Tylenol for now and I'm on pelvic rest.  Not the in bed type pelvic rest but the no jumping around or sex pelvic rest.  I've been avoiding sex since the transfer to ensure I wouldn't have the bleeding that I'm now having.  Thankfully the bleeding has haulted for now.  We'll see what Tuesday brings.

I called the Madigan RE office and left a message that I'd like an appointment for Tuesday.  Hoping they'll call me back.  Wishing I had the magic phone number that PNW has to get in touch with Madigan so quickly.  You know, the number that always comes up as unlisted or just incoming call when your own doctor calls!

Keeping Busy

Well I might just be re-opening my etsy shop.  I closed it when I moved out here 5 summers ago.  Just now I logged back in and while trying to change to announcement that I would be coming back soon my banner disappeared.  Oh Joy.  My little icon is still there but I miss my banner.  Boo Hoo!  So I guess it will take some time to make a new one.  I liked the Celtic theme I had too.  I first opened my shop in March of 2006.  I did pretty good on my sales too, I think.

****TMI****

On the Red Front; will it ever end?  I think its the fourth day of heavy bleeding.  I'm so distracted I can't think clearly.  I'm so tired I think I'm working on my last brain cells.  I know if I had looked more closely at my Etsy account I would have not clicked save changes without clicking on my banner and saving it.  Ugh! 

I stand up to get my glass refilled and I can feel the blood.  When is this going to stop?  I know I complained about how long it had been since I had a cycle start but I'd like this bleeding to stop now.  I've given up on the super tampons as they are doing nothing to abate the flow to panties.  I'm just wearing a super long maxi pad in the hopes that I can make it through an hour without having to change it.

Maybe if I just tell everyone to buzz off and leave me to my own devices I'll just sit in my recliner all day and mope.  I can't do that.  I have to stay busy.  I'm not one of those people that can relax by watching television all day long.  I fidget way too much.

So there is my whine again today.  I have managed to do yet another load of laundry.  I have managed to re-open my shop.  I just need to start on the process of making a new banner.  The old banner is lost.

CD 1: IVF #2 Begins

I awoke this morning to a phone call from my REI nurse at Madigan returning my phone call from yesterday.  My calendar is now ready with the scan times and drug dosing for the next IVF.  I'm waiting for the microdose of Lupron to show up which won't be here until early January.

My protocol has changed a bit.  I'll still be using Lupron but I won't be starting it like I did last IVF, this time I'll be waiting until the day of my first scan, the suppression scan.

I'm excited.  Sure I'm a bit sad that the first IVF resulted in a miscarriage but I have hope again for this IVF.  Yes, I know I always keep hope.  I had hope for the natural cycle that I had in-between too.  I had the implantation bleeding on the right day but somehow it just didn't stick.  It never even made it to a chemical pregnancy this time.  But its still nice to know that some part of my body still work at least half way at my age.

Today looks like from the toilet tissue wiping to be day one.  Bright red bleeding was there.  I'm always prepared with boxes of tampons and packs of pads so its not like its ever going to be one of those, "hun, please run to the store for me?" days when it happens.  Well, I hope that never happens at least.

I am thinking of no longer buying tampons.  For the past year or two using them has grown very uncomfortable.  I'm not sure if its the endo pain or what.  They don't work that well for me either with the amount I bleed.  I'm changing even the supers in under an hour when I have my heavy days. 

Bleeding is always a messy subject but somehow I always felt in better control of it, mess-wise, when I was able to use a tampon with comfort.  Now I'm becoming paranoid thinking that perhaps my body is trying to tell me something when it wants to reject it.  Maybe having a tampon sitting inside my body collecting all that blood just isn't good for it.  I'm thinking about the bacteria breeding ground its creating.  While I, knock on wood, have yet to ever have a yeast infection I do wonder if using a tampon could create the proper environment to get one.  Shudders to think of that particular mess.

The REI nurse told me that I could start the birth control by day two of my new cycle.  I don't have enough time to go for another natural cycle before I'd have to be on the pill so I'll be starting it by tomorrow I'm thinking.  My cut off date to start birth control is the 18th of December.  I'll be ringing in the holidays with migraines.  Birth control always gives me migraines and tension headaches.

The sound of the television, the one in the living room makes a slow leak noise of a balloon with buzzing, will give me headaches while on the hormones too.  I love watching the holiday movies too.  I'm a real sucker for the old black and white versions of  Its A Wonderful Life,  White Christmas,  and The Bishop's Wife.  Cary Grant plays an angel in the last one.  Got to love Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye (spelling his last name?).  I love to watch the dancing scenes in White Christmas. 

Well I'll be spending my holidays with my paper chains, snowflakes, and other craft works to decorate while I watch my holiday flics.  I'll be relaxing and hoping that this will be the cycle to grant me my dream baby.

Oh My Aching Uterus

My pain level is at 8 right now and a few minutes before was a 9.  Oh how I hate Endo pain.  This is the first true bleed, a new menstrual cycle,  I've had since the miscarriage.  I had a total of 3 days off from the first bleeding only to have it start all back up again and with a vengeance.

Three times in the past 24 hours I've told my spouse I wish I was dead.  Yes, the pain is that bad.  I've tried taking acetaminophen for the pain but that hasn't helped.  Often I think that acetaminophen is just a joke but it is one of the main ingredients in vicodin and percocet too.

I think I've forgotten what sleep is.  I haven't had two solid hours of sleep in about a week.  I know that with my fibromyalgia I will usually get 2-3 hours at a time throughout the night.  Of late not even that and its making me more fatigued when the bleeding is added in.

****TMI ****
In the past hour I've passed in less than a 5 minute period two blood clots the size of Eisenhower silver dollars.  I thought I was going to pass out from the pain.  I guess this is to be expected when my uterine lining was measuring 10.2 mm the day of the embryo transfer.  That is a lot of blood and it has to come back out.  I just wish it didn't chose to try to come out all at once.

My spouse has offered to come home and take care of me.  I might just have him do that as movement is really painful right now.  Those of you that have endometriosis and have had a miscarriage will understand how painful things are for me right now.

I could hit the percocet I have here but I'm always so afraid to take it because of the fact that I might build up a tolerance to it.  With another egg retrieval due in January I don't want to have the same pain medicine not work.  The egg retrieval was very painful.  If I was the slightest bit jostled I yelped in pain.

Deep breath in and blowing out.  Another wave of pain and cramping just hit.  Okay that's it for blogging for me today.  Time to go yowl.

Pregnancy Test Blank Window

I'm on my spouse's laptop on bed rest today.

****TMI***
Last night I had more of the bright red, thick bleeding. No clots thankfully.  That is of course until it turns to the brown stuff.  When it goes brown it gets all sort of clots in it.

I took a home pregnancy test this A.M.  A digital one, EPT to be exact.  I did as directed and waited watching the little hourglass work its magic, then it goes blank.  WTF!  Yes, it went blank. 

Okay so it has a battery in it and I have to crack it open to separate the electronics from the rest of it for proper disposal.  Besides it does have a test strip inside, this isn't the first time I've cracked one open. 

Luckily for me I could read the test strip.  Its not rocket science and I've no clue how some folks can't read them.  So for today I saw the thin blue control line separated by a white space and a big blue smudge three times the thickness of the control line.  So I guess I'm still pregnant.  Its good news I think.  But the bleeding is scary.  Maybe the bleeding is nothing?

I have yet to call the REI nurse after she told me to take it easy yesterday.  I'm definitely on bed rest today.  J's been very helpful and has loaned to me his laptop, brought into the bedroom my healthy snacking foods (nuts, and such), the 300 dvds in the single case, another blanket, bottles of water too.  He is so sweet when I asked him to do this.  He had to get to work but he took time for me. 

You should have seen his face screw up in agony this morning with the test results.  He is happy but he is also afraid that I'll still lose JR in the next few hours.  We are both afraid that the blood test tomorrow will come back negative.

I'm hoping of course that JR decides to stick around for the full 9 months but I can't make it happen if its not to be.  I continued with the PIO shots this morning.  This one given in the bedroom while I was on my side. 

My bad back is really hating me right now.  I need to get up and move about but I know that the more I move about the less my uterus will rest, the more the blood pressure will rise, and so on and so forth. 

I'm sure many of you out there know what I'm going through.  I'm struggling just like the rest of my infertile cysters to keep my embryo in my uterus.  Each pregnancy is different for every one of us.  If I'm lucky enough to carry to term I'll try to not complain too much about the pain from my DDD, bulging and herniated discs in my back and neck, and the fibromyalgia pain.  No promises though, I knew what I was getting into before I got started.

Fright Fest

Samhain aka Halloween is usually one of the most exciting nights for me in the year.  I love to decorate the house, dress up and pass out candy.  This year its not going to be as exciting.  I think I'm going to be on bed rest.

The cramps and spotting started last night.  Not brown, no its red.  I called my REI nurse just before midnight to let her know that I think I'm losing the embryo.  She asked me a few questions.  She assured me that spotting is normal and that I should call the office tomorrow.

I had to call them today and am currently waiting for a phone call back.  Sure the bleeding stops when I'm lying down but when I'm standing up or sitting up in a chair it starts up again.  Kind of hard to take a shower while lying down.  So yes I'm still bleeding.  Its no longer spotting.

My husband is in class.  He can't be home for me.  Its a mandatory class.  There are times I don't like his job.  Usually I do but when I need him and can't have him here for this it really sucks.  I'm sure that if I started to hemorrhage they'd let him come home from class so he could be there for the ER but really to the Army this is a natural event.

I'm not angry that my other friends are pregnant.  I do feel sorrow at what seems like is going to be my loss.  I'm not sure I can go through this again.  I know I probably will in March but for now I just need time.  If I'm going to lose JR I hope it happens soon.  If JR is going to stick around I so wish the bleeding would stop.

I hate this not knowing.  I'm two days away from the official blood work and it just doesn't look like I'm going to make it to that event.

Its not the money I'm worried about.  Money is just money, its nice to have so that I can afford to have these infertility treatments but I'm not angry about the loss of money because it seems to not have given me a child.

I am angry with my body.  It has betrayed me.  I still got my morning shot of progesterone.  I'll keep taking it until they tell me otherwise.  I can still hope.  I'm scared.  I'm frightened.  It looks like I'm going to have to go find the old lap top and try it out today from the reclined position.