Back to the Diet

So I failed for the last three weeks.  I've had a bit of stress and fell into the chocolate cravings.  I think it is understandable considering the chemical pregnancy I had.  Yes, most of the weight I gained back I did so last week wallowing in self-pity.

Today I went back to my diet of calorie counting.  It isn't so bad.  I finally recalled the foods I was eating back in 2011 that helped me stay full and lose weight.

Fage yogurt with honey added

Unsalted nuts

Diluted Tart Cherry Juice

Low calorie bread for sandwiches

Homemade mini pizzas

Hot cocoa in the evening to stave off my late night chocolate cravings

Other than the above I carefully measure and calculate what I can eat.  Well yes I do calculate the calories per serving of the above foods too but I think you understand what I'm getting at. 

I'm hoping to have back off the almost 6 pounds I put back on recently and of course take off at least 20 more before the donor egg cycle has become a FET.

I've got to stick with this.  I'm a 34 BMI and though that number is within guidelines it isn't a healthy BMI.  I need to get back to my 30 BMI and under to make myself happier.  I need to feel good about how I look and know that I'll have a better chance at a healthier pregnancy.

I can do this.  All I ask of my readers is to send me support often to stay the path even when things don't go as I planned.  I'm an emotional eater.

RE Appointment

Today was a good day, well so far at least.

J got home from CQ and went to the doctor's office with me.  But before I get into that I need to tell my readers that J is going to be able to re-enlist.

Yes he has his job for another three years.  This afternoon he'll sign his new contract.  We already know where we are going.  We won't be staying here at JBLM, WA.  I won't reveal where we are going until we get orders stating when since those orders could chance as the Army has been known to delete order a week before a move.

 Lauren at http://notjustanarmywife.blogspot.com has inspired me to lose weight.  She is on the South Beach diet and well I decided after looking at my ever increasing waist line that I too should do something about the twenty pounds I gained from the fertility treatment.  So for the past two days I've been counting my calories.  I haven't really been sticking to a set calorie amount but I have lost weight.  I have lost 3.6 pounds in two days.  YAY me!

As some of you know that I've been getting positive OPKs for several days in a row.  I stopped testing after the fourth positive OPK. 

The ultrasound results today showed that I haven't ovulated yet.  But I will after the trigger shot given to me by Nurse S in the exam room.  It felt like a luxury to not have to give myself a shot.

Remember this is a totally unmedicated cycle until I got that trigger shot today.

Left ovary: 1 follicle measuring 13mm

Right ovary: 2 follicles measuring 21 and 17.5

UNMEDICATED!

Waiting on SRM to call me with the time for the IUI tomorrow.  I might just get knocked up this cycle.  Though that 13mm is too small.   I'll start the progesterone support on Monday.

We discussed with Lt.Col.B., so nice to have him back, doing donor eggs.  I'm to call on cycle day to set up the SIS.  He said that the latest studies done in Spain were this:
A person with endometriosis using donor eggs from a woman without endometriosis is most likely to have a good pregnancy.
A person without endometriosis but using donor eggs from a woman with endometriosis is most likely to miscarry.

Thus there is no evidence so far, unless the SIS says otherwise, that I'll need to be cleaned out since I'll be using donor eggs from a woman hopefully without endometriosis.

Even with our move away from the PNW we could still start the donor eggs asap and always do the FET later on down the road since J has family here.  I'm sure they wouldn't mind me visiting for such a good reason.  I have been keeping them in the loop.

Nothing New

Still no AF.  CD OMG! 74!  When the hell is AF going to show up?  If its not here by the 20th I have to call my RE and schedule an appointment to find out what is going on inside of me.

I was so hoping to be on the letrozole by now.  Well nothing to do but wait.

In the meantime J has his surgical consult today.  Hopefully he'll soon be on the roster for his hernia operation.  Because its not emergency surgery like my issue was its been put off several times by the doctors though they keep stating that it needs to get done soon.  His doctor is about to go TDY again.  Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll do it tomorrow?

I purchased, through groupon, a getaway this morning.  Just one night but it is to a place that last time we went was socked in with fog.  Not sure when we are going to use it but hopefully soon.

Oh just a note, I'm going gluten free again.  Found the Endometriosis diet online and I'm getting the cookbook as a gift soon.  My mom agreed to buy it for me for my birthday which is later this month.  Over the weekend I purchased: flaxseed meal, almond meal, tapioca flour, amaranth flour, brown rice flour, white rice flour, arrowroot flour and whole millet to go with the AP gluten free flour and quinoa I had on hand already.  I also picked up three mixes: cinnamon raisin bread, vanilla cake mix, and shortbread cookie mix.  All were gluten free, soy free, dairy free, and hopefully not flavor-free.  Since my commissary doesn't make gluten free birthday cakes I'm going to save the vanilla cake mix for my birthday.

Believe it or not after following the endometriosis diet for just one day I managed to lose 1.6 pounds.  But okay I cheated yesterday and had the rare can of soda pop and gained back .2 pounds.  Happens every time I crack one open.  I guess eating gluten free, soy free, low-salt, caffeine free, alcohol free, etc...is actually going to help.  I can hope right? 

Has anyone else out there tried the endometriosis diet?  Has it help you at all?

First Goal Down

I'm happy to report that I've finally lost just over 20 pounds.  Finally the first goal is met. 

Now I just have to get to the second goal, get pregnant, gain for the baby only, stay pregnant long enough to delivery a living child and continue to lose the extra pounds after delivery.  Its a long process too.

Just under 40 more pounds to lose.  I'm already noticing that my clothes hang off me, well except for my pants because the endometriosis gut is always bulging.

However I have decided to gift myself something nice this week.  Well at least I had decided on an item from The Hunger Site which will donate bowls of food to animals with every purchase made, but the item that I really wanted it currently out of stock.  Not to worry I'll still find something else to get there to make my weight loss goals a giving back effort.  I won't be the only one to benefit from my weight loss, I want a furry friend to get fed too since they've always given me comfort when I needed it.

Today J and I went to an antique mall in our town area where he made two purchases of items he's wanted.  I've converted him to liking antique stores.  I just wanted to go there to pet the two black cats, Peyton and Crybaby.  Seems that Peyton has been beating on Crybaby lately.  Cats do that from time to time.  I can well remember my cats wrestling for cat world domination on many an occasion, usually at 3am.  So I got my cat fix in today which gave me my happy and J got what he wanted.  All is well here in our little military home.

Sabotage

There won't be a weekly weigh-in for me this week.  No, I've been sabotaged.

Last week I had dropped an additional pound the next day after my weigh-in.  I was doing so good and really proud of the fact that I was only 1 pound away from my first 20 pound goal.

I got on the scale today.  J had yet another 3 day weekend.  I've now gained back 2 pounds.  Yup, I've failed.  My body went into starvation mode yesterday because I never got to eat my first meal of the day until after 1300 hrs.

I can handle eating out on the weekends.  I was good this weekend and I pushed about on the plate most of my food, ate the veggies and the leaner bits of protein, transferred most of the garbage food from my plate to his and what do I get from it all?  Weight gain in just one day.

My pelvic region is swollen and almost hard.  Physically I resemble the me that would be about to get her period but being on the pill with no break in for another two weeks I find that its quite impossible.

I didn't get the water intake that I needed yesterday, I was definitely short of my water by several glasses.  I was short on caloric intake even with the chocolate bar I ate for the migraine headache.  I tried, I failed.  I could explain to all of you how my husband sabotaged me and the real reason why I didn't get to eat until after 1300hrs yesterday but it's way too personal to share.  No it wasn't sex.

So now I'm very far behind on my weight loss.  I was hoping to have 10 pounds off this month.  When ever my husband comes home this always happens.  My stress level goes up, my diet gets ruined, demands are made on me and I end up caving into them which makes me put me last.  I can be my own worst enemy. 

I haven't even had time to exercise.  The most exercise I've gotten in the last 24 days since he got home is housework.  Speaking of which, I have two loads of laundry to do still and they aren't going to go do themselves.

I'm angry with me.

Weight Flip Flop

This week of weight loss has been a real test of my endurance.  It seems as though this is the week that I'm bloating really easily.  I lost over a pound only to gain almost a pound back making my total weight lost for the week only 0.6 lb.  I'm cranky.

I have several things that could be the cause of this happening.  First off my schedule has been hectic.  Yesterday I didn't even get me time.  I had a last minute appointment with the chaplain sprung on me when my spouse came home for lunch.  Okay great I get ten minutes to change out of sweat pants and paint my face.  Not fun.

Secondly with the birth control part of the IVF meds I am not going to get a period for quite some time.  The packs are taken piggy back.  I read through the side effects and one of which really stood out was bloating due to increased sodium retention.  Great just what I need since I'm already prone to sodium bloat with my high blood pressure.  There is no way in Hades I can cut back on my sodium more since I'm already down to 1000 mg a day or less.  I guess I'll just have to deal with my weight see-sawing.

Third, I haven't had time for my regular exercise routine with my spouse being home.  I guess he is thinking that with him now being home from his  recent short deployment that I again need to cater to him.  Um, no.  Keeping the house clean is only easy if I get some cooperation.

My Fibromyalgia book states quite clearly, and I've read it to my husband several times; If you dirty it you clean it, If you take it out you put it back, If you make the mess you clean it up.  Those rules apply to all household members not just the housewife that doesn't work outside the home.  Nor should I be expected at this point in time to take care of anyone else but myself in my pursuit of trying to get pregnant and get healthy.  Someone needs a good swift kick in the pants of reality if he thinks I have nothing better to do than to cater to him.

Oh we've been "discussing" the issues of late.  I think we've got a good idea of where we need to work on them.  I don't like someone sabotaging my diet and exercise plan.  He's been home a week and that's exactly what he's done.

On a different note, today I have my IVF seminar.  My husband and I will learn what we are supposed to know about our IVF cycle and how to give me the injections the proper way.  Oh great does this mean we are going to experiment on me today?  Just what I need a sore butt, stomach and arms.  All I know is that we both have to stop by the pharmacy first before the seminar according to instructions.  Good thing I don't fear needles!

Last Weigh-in For August

I'm home now from my two mile walk to the hospital pharmacy.  One mile there and one mile back.  I have some good news to share.

Okay so I didn't make my first goal, it was an obscene amount I had hoped to lose but if the folks on The Biggest Loser could do it I figured I could too.  I had hoped to lose a pound a day for a whole month. 

After the first week of trying I realized that I wouldn't be able to lose 30+ pounds in a month so I changed my goal to 20 pounds in a month.  Well that didn't work out either.

However, I did lose 3 pounds this week bringing my month's total of weight lost to 15.2 pounds, but I started on the 3rd of August not the 1st.  Nothing to sneeze at. 

I'm close to one of my first increment goals of 20 pounds which means I can soon give myself a reward.  I'm excited to be so close to the 20 pound mark.  I wanted to lose 60 pound total, which means three goals and three rewards.  I just have to be patient as its not going to come off as fast as I want.

Nurse M did tell me that the more I lose before the IVF the better my odds were going to be to get pregnant.  So every time I see  candy bar, can of soda, or something that I know is full of non-nutrition calories I think that if I eat that I won't get pregnant.  Its my bit of will power.

Yes, I had a single slice of my husband's birthday cake.  Yes, we went out for dinner last night. 

No I didn't have a big slice of the cake.  No I didn't eat all on my plate or bowl.  I shared it with my husband.  He's the right weight for his height.  He can eat what he wants.

I'll continue to keep trying to shed the weight.  I'm not following a diet plan.  If I want something to eat, I eat.  I exercise within limits of my fibromyalgia.

I do not take diet pills.  I don't take diet supplements, shakes, bars, or any other meal replacement.

Truly it is all about portion control, lowering the sodium, lowering the fat and exercising.

Now I just need to hope that the weight loss continues as my medicines change.  I might have to work a bit harder to get more off but I'm going to try.

I'm Losing It

Today I weighed myself to see what I've lost in one week's time.  I decided on Wednesday mornings for my own official weigh in as I started my better eating habits two weeks ago on a Wednesday.

I'm doing good so far.  I didn't lose the 5 pounds I was hoping for but 5 pounds is a lot to lose in a week.  I did, however, lose 4.6 pounds this week.  4.6 pounds is 2.086 kilograms. 

That means that in just two weeks I've lost a total of 9.6 pounds or 4.35 kg.  Not bad at all I say.  Go Me!

Today for exercise I walked to the Madigan Medical Mall Laboratory and back again.  Its roughly a mile there and a mile back.  I could have used my bicycle but that would have meant I would have had to of added air to my bike tires.  I'm lazy today.  So I walked.  Parking at the hospital is well, interesting at best.  Often my spouse would drop me off and circle about to find a space to park.  I'll just walk it as long as the weather is fair.

The reason for the walk was the lab work blood draw.  6 vials with 9 tests in preparation for the IVF.  Oh, I still have more blood work to go through and more testing but for now I do what I can according to the calendar they sent me.

I've paid the deposit, as of this morning, for my IVF.  The full amount is due in October.  I'm still working on my parents to see if they want to contribute to their possible grandchild.  I think if a child were a definite outcome they'd be more likely to help out with the costs.  But since there is no guarantee they basically are telling me I'm on my own kid.

I did try to explain to my mom that if I can get them to help out with this IVF if it doesn't work then I'll still have enough for a possible next round which wouldn't be until next summer.  My mom had no problem getting pregnant, she was only 25 when she had me.  Some folks have it easy some, like me, don't.

Until I'm told otherwise I'm going to work hard at losing weight.  The first week was easy the second week wasn't so easy to lose the weight.  I actually had to do some exercising and cutting back on the food intake to lose what I did.  I need to get it off before I get pregnant as I'm considered obese and I'd rather have one less complication in this pregnancy.  Well hopefully there will be a pregnancy.

Shopping With My Bestie

Its a short blog posting for me.  I'm going to do some therapeutic shopping today with my bestie, S.  I just need to get out of the house.  Its been a few days since I've done just that.

I'm not sure if I'll find anything I want to purchase but the sunshine and exercise can't hurt.  It might even help my diet along a bit more as I'm just a bit under the goal of weight loss for the week. 

I doubt I can lose the rest of what I need this week in one day but its worth a try.  Yesterday I went for a 45 minute walk, I'm sure to be walking for longer than that today with S.

Where did the week go?  Can I get an extra day in there somewhere before tomorrow hits?

Off to break my fast then head out for a day of shopping.

Diet Of The Mind

Today is the day that I'd normally be making cookies for the soldiers at the COF but since most are gone, like my J, I won't be making them for a while to come.  Still I could make them for me, but why bother?  They would just be a big temptation sitting in my cookie jar.

I've been taking care of me this past week, the first week that J's been gone.  I've shucked off the stress, or most of it at least, and I've gone back to eating three meals a day.  Okay so today I've yet to get the chance to eat breakfast but I will in a few as soon as I've finished my blog.  But I did at least have a large glass of orange juice to break the fast so far.

This week I've not been dieting.  Seriously, I've been eating everything I want.  Funny how I've now lost exactly 5 pounds in the time that J has been gone.  Why is it that every time he leaves I lose weight?  Before I met him I was a size 8 which isn't bad for a gal of my height.  Right now I'm a size 16.  Yeah I gained that much living with the man I love.  Love is fattening I guess.

This week I've eaten 1 pound of pasta, a 9x9 inch pan of Cinnabon cake, 4 Hershey's bars, 4 bags of veggies in sauce, 1/2 can of unsalted peanuts, 6 ounces of pepper jack cheese, 1/2 gallon of orange juice, 3 cans of Canada Dry Ginger Ale, 1 1/2 packets of Ritz crackers, 1 jar of fat free Kraft Mayo (for the pasta), 1/2 lb. pound of Healthy Ones Honey Ham, 1/2 lb of swiss cheese, pizza, and endless glasses of water.  So how did I lose all the weight?

I have no clue.  It certainly wasn't exercise.  I haven't exercised yet.  I've puttered about the house doing the normal house work but with the addition of watering the lawn almost daily nothing has changed in my routine.   The only thing different is that J isn't here.

Could it have been his stress with his doom and gloom mood that was causing me to gain weight?  I had put on almost 10 pounds in the week before he left here.  Its not unheard of, I've done that before.  So yes its possible I guess.  But I'd hate to blame him for the weight gain.  Funny but he lost weight the week before he left.  I know about water in osmosis but can fat do it too?  Can sleeping in the same bed with your spouse make you gain the weight they are losing?  If so I want twin beds!

Okay well if any of you can figure out why I've lost 5 pounds without trying let me know.  Hopefully I can keep this up as I'd like to lose 60 pounds.  15 more pounds off and I'll give myself a treat.  I figure every 20 pounds lost deserves some sort of treat like; shoes, purse, earrings, clothes, or a book.

I'm thinking that most of this dieting is in my head.  Now that I'm more relaxed my cortisol levels are going back to normal.  That means weight loss.  Stress is always fattening.  The hard part is getting rid of the stress I have in my mind.  I just need to keep my mind on other things and not what is coming around the corner that I have no control over.  Just let it go I tell myself.