New Day New Adventure

I'm steaming forward on my own adventure today.  J is out fishing with friends and I'm going to venture forth try out new things too.

First on the agenda today was to get the mums positioned in the flower beds.  I purchased three rust colored mums in various sizes yesterday afternoon.  After I got them in place today, they are still in their pots until I decide to put them into the ground, I realized I needed three more mums to fill in the remaining empty spots.  So today I'm going to go find red ones.  I like red mums.  The rust ones are pretty too but the red ones will brighten the garden up even more.

I have a hair appointment scheduled for around noon today.  I need a hair cut in the worst way. With all the split ends I now have on my hair its knotting up easily and breaking even quicker when the wind picks up.  I'm not planning on getting it colored, as the grey is just starting to peek through its not worth the money I'd pay out to have it professionally done when I still have a few weeks left on this dye job.  So a new cut and perhaps I'll get is straightened too.

Its starting to rain.  That means J might be back early since its getting to be really cold here again.  I told him before he left this morning that if he catches it he has to clean it and I might cook it.  Might being the word.  I like fish but sometimes touching raw fish kind of grosses me out unless its sushi.  Go figure that one out because I can't.

So if the rain doesn't let up I'm going to have to figure out some indoor adventure ideas, maybe some shopping would be good therapy for me.  I'm kind of bummed out today.  I went down a whole pound more on Thursday morning only to gain back on Friday morning 1.2 pounds and this morning I weighed another 0.2 pounds more.  WTF!  Yeah I'm really bummed out about that.  I've been exercising too.  I walked another 4 miles yesterday so I've no clue why I'm gaining back the weight.  I'm so close to that first 20 pound goal and its driving me bat shit crazy to gain even a small bit back at this point.

I also need some me time due to the migraines I've been having almost every night since the 13th of August.  My birth control pills give me migraines.  I'm hoping the lupron injections won't make them worse.  Within 30 minutes of taking my birth control pill I get a migraine.  Thinking of the baby I might get to hold in my arms next July is what is getting me through this IVF cycle.  I know the pain is probably only going to get worse with all the injections I'll be getting.  I may have to hide in a dark corner with no loud sounds in my vicinity for the next few months. 

So today its time apart so that J can relax and ditch some of the stress he is carting around.  It time for me to take care of me too.  I have worth, I respect me, I deserve some spoiling too and I need a hair cut!

Celtic Soda Bread

I made bread last night.  I found a new recipe in a newsletters and I adapted it to fit my needs thus making a whole new recipe of my own.

The photo is the bread I made.  J just loves it.  Its great toasted with butter.

Now for the recipe.  I call it Celtic Soda Bread.

Celtic Soda Bread

Preheat oven to 350 F.

Grease and flour a loaf pan.



In a large bowl combine the following dry ingredients:
3 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup white sugar
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup craisins (dried cranberries)

Mix well until the raisins and craisins are coated and separated as we'd rather there not be too many lumps of fruit together, however it does happen occasionally. 

In a separate bowl mix together with a wire whisk the following wet ingredients:
1 egg
2 TBSP olive oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups of buttermilk   ***(buttermilk can be made using 1 1/2 cups regular milk plus the addition of 1 TBSP plus 2 tsp of white vinegar.  Its best to do this in a glass measuring cup and let it set a bit to curdle before adding to the other wet ingredients)

Make a well (hole) in the center of the dry ingredients in the large bowl.  Pour into the dry ingredients the wet ingredients.  Stir gently until well blended.   Pour into the greased and floured loaf pan.  Bake at 350 F for 1 hour and 15 minutes (75 minutes) until golden brown.  Immediately turn out of loaf pan onto a wire rack and let cool.

Wonderful the next day for breakfast toasted with a bit of butter or jam.

Good Gravy I'm Known For My Food

Most of you know by now that I'm called the "cookie lady" at my husband's work place because each week that he is there I bake a batch of about 5 dozen cookies for soldiers.  But did you know that I'm now stopped in the commissary and asked for my recipes for gravy?

I have no problem sharing my recipes, including the uber secret family ones.  I have no children to pass them on to and I want the world to enjoy food as much as I enjoy making and eating it myself.

I was a little surprised to be asked by one of my husband's co workers, when we saw him at the commissary, for my gravy recipe.  The reason I was surprised was that this soldier had never eaten at my house.  Must be my husband has been bragging about my food.  Okay so my head swelled.  I asked him what one in particular he was looking for and he said a white sauce.

White sauce is so easy to make and is a basic staple for the beginnings of many a delicious dish including a cheese sauce it could very easily be turned into.

All you need to start with is:
3 TBSP of butter that you slowly melt in a sauce pan on low
3 TBSP of flour that you added into the melted butter forming a paste
1-1 1/2 cups of milk that is added to the flour butter paste

Add salt and pepper to taste as you low boil and continously stir the sauce until thickened which should take less than 5 minutes, more likely 3.

For the cheese sauce, add in 1/2 to 3/4 cup of your favorite grated cheese.  But just make sure you watch how fast the sauce cooks and continue to stir or else it will burn!

My husband isn't a big pork eater but now that I've made for him two pork dishes he's changed his mind.  I would usually make him a beef dinner but I'm not able to easily digest beef without repercussions.

I pan seared pork chops, added in sugar, salt and water, let it all boil down until it formed a gravy and voila' I've got yummy pork chops and a gravy to serve over my home made garlic mashed red skin potatoes.

I've even convinced him that a pork roast made with an Island sauce is to be enjoyed.  My own sauce creation of course.

The other night I had him eating the wild mushrooms from the chicken barley soup.  He never liked mushrooms before.  He was used to those grey rubber eraser type canned mushrooms that his mom cooked with, well so did mine.  No wonder he hated mushrooms.

So yes, I'm a bit vain about my cooking.  I just can't understand why more folks don't cook from home.  Recipes are easy to follow with the internet being so handy so that one can look up the unfamiliar cooking terms to make sure its done right.  Eating at home is so much less expensive than eating out and if you eat at the table with family it can help form bonds.  Just shut off the television, put cell phones on vibrate, and make the hand held video games banned from the table.  Good food should be enjoyed without distractions.

Diet Day 43: The Weigh In

Well I still haven't reached my first goal of 20 pounds lost but I am that much closer to it with the 2.4 pounds I lost this week.  I still need to lose another 1.8 pounds to reach that first 20 pound goal.  Maybe next week?

I've been dealing with a lot of anger issues of late.  Some people are really getting on my nerves.  So I walk off the anger.  I was really upset yesterday and walked about 4 miles.  I know walking is good for me and the 4 miles that I walked yesterday only helped with the weight lost for the week.  However, I wish people would stop making me so angry.

I have a raging headache this morning.  Its feeling like it could go to migraine but I doubt it will.  Or I hope it won't.  Every time I have to go on OCPs (oral contraceptive pills) I get bad headaches and the migraine too.  Usually I'm put on topomax while on the OCPs, but not this time as I can't possibly take that particular medicine while in an IVF cycle.

Back to the weight loss.  I still have another 42 pounds to go.  My clothes aren't baggy on me, no they seem to be shrinking in the wash.  I feel so fat but then again I still am fat and far away from being off that BMI marker that says I'm obese every time I step on my Wii balance board.  I haven't played with the Wii in a week.  I've just not been feeling all that well with the headaches.  Who wants to exercise when their head feels like its going to explode?

With any luck the headaches will soon disappear after I end the OCPs, but I won't be off them until Oct. 2nd. I start the Lupron injections on Sept. 25th.  I've only taken Lupron once and I can't remember how it affected me.  If any one that has taken that particular drug has any advice on the side effects please inform me of what to expect. 

Thanks~

Time For Chicken Soup

The more I listen to family the more I want to say hypocrite out loud.  Yesterday was not the best of days.  I decided I would defrost chicken to make my own chicken soup in the crock pot later today.  What I didn't want to hear was that family was not supportive of our decision to have IVF.

So I'm going to make chicken soup today.  Chicken barley and mushroom soup to be precise.  I've heard that chicken soup is the cure all so why not see if this will cure my bit of anger towards a few to remain nameless family members.

Seriously how can you not believe in IVF if you are so Pro Choice to the point that you believe in pregnancy reduction for the safety of the other fetuses?  How is it any different to create a life by medical science then to take one by medical science which is not "natural" according to most religious doctrines?  If you support the taking of the life then you should be open minded enough to support the creating of one.  Sheesh some folks really know how to turn my crank.

So yes, I'm really hopeful that this crock of chicken soup will help ease my mind, fix my nausea and vomiting and help reduce the physical pain of my endometriosis and fibromyalgia; I'm currently have a fibro flare.  Its asking for a lot I know but its obviously asking for way less than what I expected from certain individuals.

Maybe just maybe if this IVF cycle results in a baby they'll have a change of heart about the procedure.  If they don't and they slight my child because it wasn't created by natural causes I'm going to get really pissed off.

All My Ducks In A Row

As of this morning I made the final two appointments that I was required to make in order to possibly secure that letter recommending that my spouse be allowed to stay with me during part of the hopeful pregnancy.  I had to make a few extra calls this morning but it was worth it.

I called my REI clinic to ask why the MFM (maternal fetal medicine) folks had yet to call me back.  I was supposed to be called back within 24 hours of Thursday.  Its Monday here.  After chatting with Cpt. S-D. I explained the situation about the prior MI I had in March 2009, the beta blockers and water pills I've gone off in order to prepare my body for pregnancy and the fact that I have to see my cardiologist biannually.  She seemed quite concerned all of a sudden about me.  Its not like I didn't tell her the other day about the issues.  Whatever.

I called MFM directly after getting the number from Cpt. S-D.  They asked if I was already pregnant, I wish, and I told them that no I'm not but we are going through an IVF cycle.  I'm now scheduled for the 23rd of September.  At last we might get somewhere with that letter if they choose to listen to me and actually pay attention to my chart.

I was able to get my walk-in appointment scheduled with Cardiology for October.  Yes, a walk-in has to be scheduled, this is Tri-Care we are talking about.  I won't be seeing Dr.K. as he is retiring.  I will be seeing Dr. V. instead.  Never met the chap but I do hope he will at least take a few minutes before seeing me to familiarize himself with my file and Dr.K's notes.

So if I seem like a bit of a pessimist today its because I'm in pain again today.  Bear with me folks.  Most of the time the doctors I see I rarely will see again.  They aren't interested in my feelings, nor the fact that my spouse will deploy or any other conditions that I have other than the reason that I'm being seen in their specialty clinic.  If they took the time to actually look through my computer chart it would mean they wouldn't be able to see as many patients as they do now.  It means that I will take time away from someone else.  Its sad but true.  I get shoved aside because they are understaffed.  I've been given medicines that I can't take and refuse to take that the doctors think will cure my ailment without realizing that they conflict with the other medicines I'm currently taking or might cause another one of my medical problems to flare back up.

I'm not a hypochondriac, I do have real medical issues.  Its not all in my head unless you are referring to the neurological problems from the fibromyalgia.

So I'm hoping that with the four new doctor appointments, all specialists, maybe one will be able to help me out.  Remember I'm not asking the Army to go to war understaffed, they have plenty in my spouse's job for help.  I am, however, asking that they consider letting him stay home for the entire IVF cycle and part of the pregnancy.  If I miscarry REI has told me they'd be able to get me into another cycle right off.  I can't do this if he is gone, well at least I can't do it without banking his sperm and who's to say I'll even think of doing that if I say miscarry at week 12?  He'd be gone by week 12!

So I'm still frustrated.  I'm hoping for some good news soon.  Meanwhile I can't take pain meds for the cyst pain as the acetaminophen isn't working on the pain nor percocet for that matter.  I'm not going to suck it up either, I'm going to write about it, talk about it with my spouse, and in general just moan from the pain.  I'm coping the best way I can without pain killers.

Endo Pain Puts Damper On Weekend Plans

I had plans for this weekend.  Some how I knew they weren't going to come to fruition.  I tried.

So instead of going on a little mini vacation for just J and I we are instead getting the transmission flushed and oil changed on our vehicle.  It needed to get done so at least that will be one thing ticked off our weekend list.

This morning the endometriosis pain was bad enough that I couldn't bend or sit without pain.  ****TMI here****  I also started passing clots again.  Yeah, I knew the cramping yesterday meant something was up.  I just knew yesterday that some how the plans for the weekend were going to get mucked up.  I shouldn't be bleeding either since I'm on a piggy back of birth control pills with no empty pills in-between to cause a bleed.  The doctors know.  Its to be expected.  Yeah, well they aren't the ones in pain now are they?

I stepped on the scale, same weight as yesterday ( -16.8 lbs now) and my lower abdomen is sticking out further than yesterday.  If I didn't know better I'd say I was pregnant, but we all know that I'm not.

I know the photo isn't the best but that's me.  I've still got 43.2  more pounds to go until I hit my goal weight.  We'll see how much the injection meds mess with the weight loss goal.  Two more weekends until I start the Lupron injections.

Well I've shared my woes with all of you.  I'm not in the best of moods due to the pain.  Sorry if the blog post is a tad depressing and boring but I'm just not all into much today.