Ready Player One drawing will be held on Monday, June 18th. Don't forget to leave a comment on that particular blog page if you want to be entered in the contest to win a free copy of the book. If you are the lucky winner I'll need your contact information within a day of the drawing so that I can notify the publisher where to send your copy of the book.
I have no ambition and no energy today. I'm depressed. Why? Well I can't have a baby. Every one around me seems to be giving birth. Even the other day it was announced on fb that a couple gave birth and the picture was posted. Their name was just one letter off from my last name and the soldier's rank was the same. I guess it really gets to me because if IVF #1 had worked I'd be in the home stretch right now, not recovering from a laparoscopic surgery.
I'm still fat. Since January and with this surgery, though I've lost about half of what I gained from the IV bag I'm still at +16 pounds for the year. I hate my body and it hates me.
I was going to color my hair today but I'm tired. I'm not sleeping well and the pain killers aren't working on the pain. I take them only at bedtime now. I'm actually a bit afraid of what they'll find when they do the ultrasound next week Thursday for the two week check up. I don't hurt near the incisions but more in the uterus area and it feels like something was left hanging since it bobs a bit inside of me. No clue what it could be and I'll just have to wait and see. The pain gets worse at night and of late has become bilateral.
J is upset at all the babies and bellies he is subjected to seeing. Its getting to him. He came home in a fowl mood last night from the commissary. We discussed the "why". As of today I have exactly enough to do the frozen donor eggs but I have to wait. I'd like to try a few more rounds with my own while we do a "wait and see" if he'll be able to stay in the Army. I told him last night that if we went through with the donor eggs right off what would happen if he couldn't stay in? And the fact that if our kid needed medical for a disability we would no longer be covered. Its rather scary but I'm being quite adult about this whole thing. I'm scared that we won't have that money to fall back on and it just doesn't sit right with me.
Sorry that you are still in pain. Perhaps you should take the pain meds more frequently so you can get the rest your body needs to heal. Its been a week right? You should be not in so much pain - I also hope all is well internally.
ReplyDeleteReg DE cycle, I think you are being very responsible looking at your finances. I totally agree about making sure you are finacially okay to go down that path and can cover for eventualities. Many people are not prepared finacially and I find it mind-boggling that they are adding so much strain on themselves to have to worry about money. Maybe they are better risk takers than me :-)
The pain hits mostly in the late afternoon. I guess my body is telling me that I'm doing too much?
DeleteMaybe you and J need to find sometime for yourselves very soon (if possible). Maybe a weekend get a way or even a nice dinner out together? Sounds like you are in a funk due to the pain and all the other crap going on right now.
ReplyDeleteWe were just talking about that this morning. It depends on how I feel.
DeleteThat is difficult. You got to the point where you can do the donor eggs and now you have to wait again. I really hope he can stay in and you two have a perfect DE cycle that gives you a beautiful little one.
ReplyDeleteI hope so too.
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