Tomorrow is the regular OB appointment in the morning with a Non-stress test in the afternoon. Fingers crossed that I'll make it through another full week to make it to full term. I want her lungs fully developed before she is born.
Monday, June 30, 2014
Still Pregnant
Happy to say that I'm still pregnant. Every day that I keep baby girl inside is another chance she has to gain more weight.
Tomorrow is the regular OB appointment in the morning with a Non-stress test in the afternoon. Fingers crossed that I'll make it through another full week to make it to full term. I want her lungs fully developed before she is born.
Me bloated up like a balloon. My arms and hands hurt so bad from all the fluid retention not to forget the leg pain. The headaches are just awesome icing to the end of the day. I have to say that Pre-eclampsia sucks!
Tomorrow is the regular OB appointment in the morning with a Non-stress test in the afternoon. Fingers crossed that I'll make it through another full week to make it to full term. I want her lungs fully developed before she is born.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
35 Weeks 4 Days
Today I was at my regular OB appointment. Yesterday was the high risk OB appointment. I'll give details now about both appointments.
Baby Girl is doing well. She now weighs 5 lbs 3 ounces.
Her head is still small at the 6th percentile.
Her femur length is still small.
Her abdomen and humerus are measuring right on track and within the good ranges. Overall she is 22.8th percentile.
I have more blurry pictures of her but I won't be posting them. Instead I'll be working on her scrapbook since I have bed rest now prescribed.
The blood work and urine tests were in today. Pre-eclampsia. Oh well. Kind of knew we had a good chance of winning that lottery since I had hypertension before pregnancy.
I start the twice weekly NST to make sure baby girl is going to be okay.
Today I had the swab for the GBS. Is it normal that the doctor also ran the swab across the rectum too?
Well I need to post this blog and get off my feet. I'll be using J's computer which is a pain in the butt for most of the rest of the pregnancy.
Baby Girl is doing well. She now weighs 5 lbs 3 ounces.
Her head is still small at the 6th percentile.
Her femur length is still small.
Her abdomen and humerus are measuring right on track and within the good ranges. Overall she is 22.8th percentile.
I have more blurry pictures of her but I won't be posting them. Instead I'll be working on her scrapbook since I have bed rest now prescribed.
The blood work and urine tests were in today. Pre-eclampsia. Oh well. Kind of knew we had a good chance of winning that lottery since I had hypertension before pregnancy.
I start the twice weekly NST to make sure baby girl is going to be okay.
Today I had the swab for the GBS. Is it normal that the doctor also ran the swab across the rectum too?
Well I need to post this blog and get off my feet. I'll be using J's computer which is a pain in the butt for most of the rest of the pregnancy.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Hoping and Praying
Though I don't have a wonderful relationship with my parents I don't wish them ill either. Almost three months ago Dad was brought into the hospital. We had hopes that he would be released yesterday but his potassium count went up again. He is getting depressed. I can't think of many folks who wouldn't with being stuck in the hospital for as long as he has been in one.
Today I got a two more photos from my photographer of which I sent to my mom. She brings them to Dad in his room. Hopefully she'll see her email tonight and bring them in to him tomorrow. It always cheers him up.
Tomorrow is my next growth scan. Hoping that little girl is growing. Praying that her head is much bigger than the 9th percentile it was last scan.
I'll end here with the two photos that I recently saw online. Hard to believe I'm only one pound bigger than my start weight.
Today I got a two more photos from my photographer of which I sent to my mom. She brings them to Dad in his room. Hopefully she'll see her email tonight and bring them in to him tomorrow. It always cheers him up.
Tomorrow is my next growth scan. Hoping that little girl is growing. Praying that her head is much bigger than the 9th percentile it was last scan.
I'll end here with the two photos that I recently saw online. Hard to believe I'm only one pound bigger than my start weight.
Friday, June 20, 2014
Showing Signs of Pre-eclampsia
Yesterday I went to my regular OB appointment at Winn ACH. I was seen by a doctor on the other team as my doctor was all booked up. I knew I'd be seeing a different doctor. The man was just okay as a doctor. Not because he was old but because he really seemed disinterested in my chart, in giving out information and he wasn't prepared for any of the questions that I or my spouse posed to him.
J had to ask him for the measurements of the baby's heart rate and the fundal height after the doctor completed each. Normally the doctors will be forth coming with each finding.
The doctor had no clue about the echocardiogram when I asked him about the results. He did print me out a copy of the papers and said that he isn't a cardiologist and doesn't know how to read them. Well simply enough just read the summary doc. The summary is the simplest part of the report to understand. It will tell you if there is a major problem or not.
The summary reported what I already knew: I have hypertension. There was no mention of the PFO. My blood flow was good. So I'm not sure why the ultrasound tech even told me three times and showed me the hole in my heart on the echo screen. I mean I know they have government cover-ups but why would they bother with a spouse? J has his theory on that one. First off the findings weren't read here at Winn but were sent to Lackland AFB in Texas. Perhaps the doctor who read the results was rushed or over worked? Maybe there is a conspiracy to prevent a special needs patient being referred off post to see a cardiologist. We don't have one here and each time a specialist is needed it gets costly for Tricare. We know that insurance companies try to cut costs. J also knows that we should never have been stationed here as Winn can't handle my EFMP needs without a cardiologist on staff and I was established with one at Madigan well before we left or he even got orders for Stewart. Someone just turned a blind eye to the matter of the EFMP and that happens a lot with the Army unfortunately.
Back to the title of this post. My bp was 148/86. I've gained 5.4 pounds in a week which now puts me at plus one pound from my start weight at the pregnancy. I've been getting more frequent headaches. My face, hands, feet, legs are swollen. My legs show indents easily with minimal pressure on them. I have a previous history of high blood pressure and have been on medication for five years for it. I also have an intermittent pain on the right side of my abdomen just above and sometimes equal to the belly button. I didn't think to mention this last thing to the doctor. Why? Well the pain comes and goes and I forget about it until it starts again. The doctor was the one that suspected the Pre-eclampsia saying he thinks it is quite possible that I've developed it. Thus he put down on the COB paperwork that I have to see him in a week.
The doctor ordered a CBC and OB panel along with a 24 hour urine study. I've done the urine study before, back in January, and it came back high on protein. Way high actually for the baseline; so high that they marked the printout with an "H" next to the number value. Wish I had thought to write down the numbers when I had my chart accessible during the move. So if my baseline is high there is a chance I might be considered just normal this time around? Who knows.
I have two more weeks and two days until I would consider allowing them to deliver her here on post at 37 weeks. Anything before 37 weeks and I'll be begging them to send me to Savannah where they'd have a NICU to handle the issue. Here we only have a level one NICU with just 4 beds. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off hoping a train to NYC and deliver up there where I know the quality of hospitals is better. But that would be a lot of red tape and Tricare would most likely say that I'm on my own with that bill.
Today I go to see my high risk OB in Savannah. Hopefully they will be opting to do a growth scan. They are supposed to do a growth scan on the days that I see the actual doctor. Last time they did the growth scan it was on an appt. day that I was only slated to see the NP. The NP that didn't put any notes in my chart about the IUGR either or the need for an umbilical cord study! But I have a witness, J was with me for that appointment. I'm starting to wonder if the high risk OB I'm seeing is one of those doctors that slid through medical school with a "C" average since he is only rated at 3 stars for his care. Of course I didn't get to pick him, Tricare picked him because he was the lowest bid for the contract.
J had to ask him for the measurements of the baby's heart rate and the fundal height after the doctor completed each. Normally the doctors will be forth coming with each finding.
The doctor had no clue about the echocardiogram when I asked him about the results. He did print me out a copy of the papers and said that he isn't a cardiologist and doesn't know how to read them. Well simply enough just read the summary doc. The summary is the simplest part of the report to understand. It will tell you if there is a major problem or not.
The summary reported what I already knew: I have hypertension. There was no mention of the PFO. My blood flow was good. So I'm not sure why the ultrasound tech even told me three times and showed me the hole in my heart on the echo screen. I mean I know they have government cover-ups but why would they bother with a spouse? J has his theory on that one. First off the findings weren't read here at Winn but were sent to Lackland AFB in Texas. Perhaps the doctor who read the results was rushed or over worked? Maybe there is a conspiracy to prevent a special needs patient being referred off post to see a cardiologist. We don't have one here and each time a specialist is needed it gets costly for Tricare. We know that insurance companies try to cut costs. J also knows that we should never have been stationed here as Winn can't handle my EFMP needs without a cardiologist on staff and I was established with one at Madigan well before we left or he even got orders for Stewart. Someone just turned a blind eye to the matter of the EFMP and that happens a lot with the Army unfortunately.
Back to the title of this post. My bp was 148/86. I've gained 5.4 pounds in a week which now puts me at plus one pound from my start weight at the pregnancy. I've been getting more frequent headaches. My face, hands, feet, legs are swollen. My legs show indents easily with minimal pressure on them. I have a previous history of high blood pressure and have been on medication for five years for it. I also have an intermittent pain on the right side of my abdomen just above and sometimes equal to the belly button. I didn't think to mention this last thing to the doctor. Why? Well the pain comes and goes and I forget about it until it starts again. The doctor was the one that suspected the Pre-eclampsia saying he thinks it is quite possible that I've developed it. Thus he put down on the COB paperwork that I have to see him in a week.
The doctor ordered a CBC and OB panel along with a 24 hour urine study. I've done the urine study before, back in January, and it came back high on protein. Way high actually for the baseline; so high that they marked the printout with an "H" next to the number value. Wish I had thought to write down the numbers when I had my chart accessible during the move. So if my baseline is high there is a chance I might be considered just normal this time around? Who knows.
I have two more weeks and two days until I would consider allowing them to deliver her here on post at 37 weeks. Anything before 37 weeks and I'll be begging them to send me to Savannah where they'd have a NICU to handle the issue. Here we only have a level one NICU with just 4 beds. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off hoping a train to NYC and deliver up there where I know the quality of hospitals is better. But that would be a lot of red tape and Tricare would most likely say that I'm on my own with that bill.
Today I go to see my high risk OB in Savannah. Hopefully they will be opting to do a growth scan. They are supposed to do a growth scan on the days that I see the actual doctor. Last time they did the growth scan it was on an appt. day that I was only slated to see the NP. The NP that didn't put any notes in my chart about the IUGR either or the need for an umbilical cord study! But I have a witness, J was with me for that appointment. I'm starting to wonder if the high risk OB I'm seeing is one of those doctors that slid through medical school with a "C" average since he is only rated at 3 stars for his care. Of course I didn't get to pick him, Tricare picked him because he was the lowest bid for the contract.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Wading Through the Chaos
Okay I do more than my fair share of complaining of late. I know I know. However, you'd complain too if you dealt with what I do.
Folks when you read through my blog posts do the majority of you skim them or do you read them fully? If this is the first time you've found my blog do you read the "about me" section to find out more of what I've been through?
I only ask because some of the comments I get from annons and first timers seem to be sometimes off the wall. I'd assume, but assuming anything isn't good, that perhaps they didn't read the "about me" section.
So last night was the monthly FRG meeting. Ugh what a mess. The FRG leader didn't show up. They tried to joke about her taking a vacation but the second in command wasn't too happy about not being informed that she wouldn't be there as it made her not prepared.
The FRG is still throwing the commander's wife a baby shower. She is due the day before me for her second child. I wasn't the only one miffed at the funds going towards her shower. There was a young couple at the meeting that was given a cheap baby blanket and a certificate in a one dollar frame for the arrival of their newborn. How the heck is that fair? How about the five other couples that are due in July? Oh they will all get the cheap baby blanket and framed certificate too. How do I know it is cheap? They went over the expenditures this meeting. Just over $21 was spent on each gift leaving our FRG with another $700 in the account.
Why wasn't some of this spent on the Organizational Day? Why did the families have to pay for the swimming pool fees and bring food? So much for a mandatory fun day with everything included. It was included if you brought it. Where is the money going besides for the Commander's wife's baby shower is what I'd like to know. Misappropriation of funds.
No child care is provided at the FRG meetings. We have plenty of money to pay for it. Instead those that have the floor have to almost scream to be heard over the cacophony that the children are making. Seriously folks if you bring your child pay attention to them and don't be texting with your best bud while ignoring your child who is screaming and running around the room. The FRG meeting is a place to find out information not your child's playground.
You know what? I don't care if I lose another reader like I did over the pet peeve post. This is after all my own blog. I can state my own opinions here. If you don't like it don't read it.
As for last week's high risk OB appointment. The Army never released to my high risk OB the echocardiogram. It took me calling the high risk OB twice this week to find out the progress of their confirmed fax. Finally today they called me back to let me know they got their copy of it for tomorrow's appointment. Today I have an appointment with my regular OB team. This particular doctor I have never seen before. I've no clue as to their gender, not like that matters all that much to me. What matters is if they actually read my chart.
Last night I had a horrible headache in my right temple. It hurt to touch the spot. The contractions are getting to be more frequent. I guess that is normal considering I have about 5 weeks left in the pregnancy. Still we have no clue which way we'll be allowed to deliver the baby. At this point I can almost guarantee that full natural delivery will not be allowed. Most likely it will involve a possibility of being induced like they warned me for week 39, possible vacuum and or forceps as they won't want me to be pushing for too long. All of this means I'll probably be on some sort of pain med too. But this is just me assuming from all the research I've done on IUGR babies and PFOs complicated by all my other medical conditions.
Hey we knew this wasn't going to be an easy pregnancy. I'm handicapped and I usually deal quite well with the various medical conditions that I have. I won't be able to run marathons, ski down hill, ice skate, or swim 20 laps but I can love and care for my child to the best of my ability and help her in her interests. If I can't do it I'll find someone that can help her. Luckily J used to be a snowboard instructor so she is covered when it comes to fun on the slopes.
Now I'm just blathering on .
Folks when you read through my blog posts do the majority of you skim them or do you read them fully? If this is the first time you've found my blog do you read the "about me" section to find out more of what I've been through?
I only ask because some of the comments I get from annons and first timers seem to be sometimes off the wall. I'd assume, but assuming anything isn't good, that perhaps they didn't read the "about me" section.
So last night was the monthly FRG meeting. Ugh what a mess. The FRG leader didn't show up. They tried to joke about her taking a vacation but the second in command wasn't too happy about not being informed that she wouldn't be there as it made her not prepared.
The FRG is still throwing the commander's wife a baby shower. She is due the day before me for her second child. I wasn't the only one miffed at the funds going towards her shower. There was a young couple at the meeting that was given a cheap baby blanket and a certificate in a one dollar frame for the arrival of their newborn. How the heck is that fair? How about the five other couples that are due in July? Oh they will all get the cheap baby blanket and framed certificate too. How do I know it is cheap? They went over the expenditures this meeting. Just over $21 was spent on each gift leaving our FRG with another $700 in the account.
Why wasn't some of this spent on the Organizational Day? Why did the families have to pay for the swimming pool fees and bring food? So much for a mandatory fun day with everything included. It was included if you brought it. Where is the money going besides for the Commander's wife's baby shower is what I'd like to know. Misappropriation of funds.
No child care is provided at the FRG meetings. We have plenty of money to pay for it. Instead those that have the floor have to almost scream to be heard over the cacophony that the children are making. Seriously folks if you bring your child pay attention to them and don't be texting with your best bud while ignoring your child who is screaming and running around the room. The FRG meeting is a place to find out information not your child's playground.
You know what? I don't care if I lose another reader like I did over the pet peeve post. This is after all my own blog. I can state my own opinions here. If you don't like it don't read it.
As for last week's high risk OB appointment. The Army never released to my high risk OB the echocardiogram. It took me calling the high risk OB twice this week to find out the progress of their confirmed fax. Finally today they called me back to let me know they got their copy of it for tomorrow's appointment. Today I have an appointment with my regular OB team. This particular doctor I have never seen before. I've no clue as to their gender, not like that matters all that much to me. What matters is if they actually read my chart.
Last night I had a horrible headache in my right temple. It hurt to touch the spot. The contractions are getting to be more frequent. I guess that is normal considering I have about 5 weeks left in the pregnancy. Still we have no clue which way we'll be allowed to deliver the baby. At this point I can almost guarantee that full natural delivery will not be allowed. Most likely it will involve a possibility of being induced like they warned me for week 39, possible vacuum and or forceps as they won't want me to be pushing for too long. All of this means I'll probably be on some sort of pain med too. But this is just me assuming from all the research I've done on IUGR babies and PFOs complicated by all my other medical conditions.
Hey we knew this wasn't going to be an easy pregnancy. I'm handicapped and I usually deal quite well with the various medical conditions that I have. I won't be able to run marathons, ski down hill, ice skate, or swim 20 laps but I can love and care for my child to the best of my ability and help her in her interests. If I can't do it I'll find someone that can help her. Luckily J used to be a snowboard instructor so she is covered when it comes to fun on the slopes.
Now I'm just blathering on .
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
More Pet Peeves
Yesterday after our last birthing class which was supposed to last 2.5 hours but last barely 30 minutes J and I went to the commissary for some much needed groceries. While there I had to pee. Pregnant women aren't supposed to try to hold their pee for too long because it can cause a UTI. Well after what I dealt with in the ladies bathroom I ended up having to hold my pee.
Pet Peeve: if your child is old enough for school and can use the facilities on his own you don't need to be letting him use, on his own mind you, the ladies room! Yes a mother followed me into the ladies room. There were only two stalls and both were occupied or so I found out. The handicapped stall was locked. Fine okay no big deal I'm handicapped but quite capable of using the smaller stall. The smaller stall door was open enough to make me believe that it was empty. Guess what? It wasn't empty. Nasty Mom had left her old enough to use the men's room son alone in the ladies room for quite a while, long enough for him to make noxious stink but then followed me into the ladies room to check on him. She then yelled at me that her son was in there and that I would have to use the other empty stall. I said the other stall is in use and with that said a flush was heard from it. Her lovely boy who was no less than 8 years of age was taking a dump in the ladies room stall with the door not locked to his stall. First off what the heck was he doing in the ladies room unattended? Secondly why the heck couldn't he lock his stall door? So I left the ladies room saying loudly, "I guess I'll have to hold it until I get home!".
I'm so sick to death of this going on. Seriously parents if your child is old enough to go to school and use the public restrooms there that are gender appropriate you don't need to instruct your child to use the one meant for your gender if you are going to not even be in the same restroom with him but waiting outside of the door. At 4 I was using the gender appropriate restroom with my father waiting outside the door.
I won't even get started on non-handicapped folks using the handicapped restroom for their children. Especially when they see a handicapped person waiting behind them to use it. Hey the old and infirm have earned the right to use the bathroom too and more so since they can't hold it as easily you can.
I made sure my spouse knew about this pet peeve last night since he'll be doing some outings with our daughter on his own too.
Many is the time that mom's have let their much too old to be using the ladies room boy use it and let them go unattended while these children are peeking under the stalls at other women. Can you say pervert in training? I can and will. I say it because at the age of 7 I was molested by a boy only two years my senior. Yes, children can molest other children.
Here are some resources on thought about the subject from others:
http://www.drmarlo.com/?page_id=122
http://www.whattoexpect.com/forums/hot-topics-1/archives/opposite-sex-child-in-public-restrooms.html
http://www.preparewell.com/child-safety-public-restrooms
Second Pet Peeve: Back off on moms that decide to say "we are not pregnant" but instead say "we are expecting". I don't care if your partner helped you with all your infertility meds or not. I don't care how much he or she was a good partner to you during your pregnancy. They aren't the ones carrying the baby and we pregnant ones deserve the respect for carrying the kid for nine months.
Do you declare, women that is, that "we have prostate cancer"? I don't think so. That is only something that a man can have. Even if you are his caregiver You can't feel what he feels physically just like he can't feel what you feel physically while you are pregnant. You might feel mental pain but it is nothing akin to what he feels as his body is wasting away from a illness that could kill him. Oh and if you say that pregnancy can't kill think again. It still happens folks.
So that is my rant for today. Have at it!
Pet Peeve: if your child is old enough for school and can use the facilities on his own you don't need to be letting him use, on his own mind you, the ladies room! Yes a mother followed me into the ladies room. There were only two stalls and both were occupied or so I found out. The handicapped stall was locked. Fine okay no big deal I'm handicapped but quite capable of using the smaller stall. The smaller stall door was open enough to make me believe that it was empty. Guess what? It wasn't empty. Nasty Mom had left her old enough to use the men's room son alone in the ladies room for quite a while, long enough for him to make noxious stink but then followed me into the ladies room to check on him. She then yelled at me that her son was in there and that I would have to use the other empty stall. I said the other stall is in use and with that said a flush was heard from it. Her lovely boy who was no less than 8 years of age was taking a dump in the ladies room stall with the door not locked to his stall. First off what the heck was he doing in the ladies room unattended? Secondly why the heck couldn't he lock his stall door? So I left the ladies room saying loudly, "I guess I'll have to hold it until I get home!".
I'm so sick to death of this going on. Seriously parents if your child is old enough to go to school and use the public restrooms there that are gender appropriate you don't need to instruct your child to use the one meant for your gender if you are going to not even be in the same restroom with him but waiting outside of the door. At 4 I was using the gender appropriate restroom with my father waiting outside the door.
I won't even get started on non-handicapped folks using the handicapped restroom for their children. Especially when they see a handicapped person waiting behind them to use it. Hey the old and infirm have earned the right to use the bathroom too and more so since they can't hold it as easily you can.
I made sure my spouse knew about this pet peeve last night since he'll be doing some outings with our daughter on his own too.
Many is the time that mom's have let their much too old to be using the ladies room boy use it and let them go unattended while these children are peeking under the stalls at other women. Can you say pervert in training? I can and will. I say it because at the age of 7 I was molested by a boy only two years my senior. Yes, children can molest other children.
Here are some resources on thought about the subject from others:
http://www.drmarlo.com/?page_id=122
http://www.whattoexpect.com/forums/hot-topics-1/archives/opposite-sex-child-in-public-restrooms.html
http://www.preparewell.com/child-safety-public-restrooms
Second Pet Peeve: Back off on moms that decide to say "we are not pregnant" but instead say "we are expecting". I don't care if your partner helped you with all your infertility meds or not. I don't care how much he or she was a good partner to you during your pregnancy. They aren't the ones carrying the baby and we pregnant ones deserve the respect for carrying the kid for nine months.
Do you declare, women that is, that "we have prostate cancer"? I don't think so. That is only something that a man can have. Even if you are his caregiver You can't feel what he feels physically just like he can't feel what you feel physically while you are pregnant. You might feel mental pain but it is nothing akin to what he feels as his body is wasting away from a illness that could kill him. Oh and if you say that pregnancy can't kill think again. It still happens folks.
So that is my rant for today. Have at it!
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Wanting What You Have
I'm feeling incredibly blessed today since I'm in my 34th week and still pregnant. I want to make it to at least 37 weeks before I say okay to letting her come into this world. I mean I really won't have a choice when she does decide to appear but I can hope to continue to be pregnant for a while longer.
I do have a few problems here in Nirvana land, but I'm trying to look on the bright side and realize that if I weren't pregnant I'd be complaining and moaning about how nice it is for others to just complain about things when they have something I really want.
First off; J is not prepared for this delivery. Nope not even a bit. Not because he is going to be a first time dad. No, it is because he is a procrastinator. He has yet to even read through the first week of classes in the hypnobabies workbook or listen to even one cd. How can I depend on him to be my advocate while I'm coping with the pain? How can I look to him for comfort if he is going to cave on me and let them give me drugs especially when he hasn't even looked at the birth plan? I'm really frustrated with him right now and have told him that if he doesn't make this a priority in his life for this once in a lifetime event I will ban him from the birthing room because I really won't need his stress dumped on me. With that said I am glad that I can complain about him because that means that he will be home for the birth of our daughter and I'm thankful for that, really thankful.
Second is when the time come; hopefully J will be at home. I won't be able to reach him by cell phone as where he works is a high security area where no cell phones are allowed. There are work phones but I don't have the number as of yet. With my dumb luck daylight during work hours is just when I'll go into active labor! We are trying to work out a system of some sort for just this. I know I'll need the phone number(s) soon so I can update the admin. paperwork and the OB office in case I have to go in via ambulance. But he has only one to the outer office that he just gave to me. Yes, his own office doesn't have a phone hooked up in it yet. This is going to get really interesting! But again I'm thankful because he is home here in the states and in garrison at that.
Third; breathing would be nice. I would just love it if baby girl would get off my lungs. I can bend over still. I can pick things up off the floor. I can still wear shoes that tie and tie them myself. But I'd love it if the lungs didn't have so much pressure on them. I am thankful that I can complain about this, if I didn't complain about this I'd be complaining how lucky some pregnant chic is to be able to complain about it.
So yes I want what I have. I don't wan the pregnancy to end early. I'm not wishing it would either even with all the discomforts that have come with it. Yes, I'm ready to meet my daughter but in good time. For now I will continue to get her clothing ready, work on her scrapbook, read adult books while I still can and work on a blanket for her big girl bed.
I do have a few problems here in Nirvana land, but I'm trying to look on the bright side and realize that if I weren't pregnant I'd be complaining and moaning about how nice it is for others to just complain about things when they have something I really want.
First off; J is not prepared for this delivery. Nope not even a bit. Not because he is going to be a first time dad. No, it is because he is a procrastinator. He has yet to even read through the first week of classes in the hypnobabies workbook or listen to even one cd. How can I depend on him to be my advocate while I'm coping with the pain? How can I look to him for comfort if he is going to cave on me and let them give me drugs especially when he hasn't even looked at the birth plan? I'm really frustrated with him right now and have told him that if he doesn't make this a priority in his life for this once in a lifetime event I will ban him from the birthing room because I really won't need his stress dumped on me. With that said I am glad that I can complain about him because that means that he will be home for the birth of our daughter and I'm thankful for that, really thankful.
Second is when the time come; hopefully J will be at home. I won't be able to reach him by cell phone as where he works is a high security area where no cell phones are allowed. There are work phones but I don't have the number as of yet. With my dumb luck daylight during work hours is just when I'll go into active labor! We are trying to work out a system of some sort for just this. I know I'll need the phone number(s) soon so I can update the admin. paperwork and the OB office in case I have to go in via ambulance. But he has only one to the outer office that he just gave to me. Yes, his own office doesn't have a phone hooked up in it yet. This is going to get really interesting! But again I'm thankful because he is home here in the states and in garrison at that.
Third; breathing would be nice. I would just love it if baby girl would get off my lungs. I can bend over still. I can pick things up off the floor. I can still wear shoes that tie and tie them myself. But I'd love it if the lungs didn't have so much pressure on them. I am thankful that I can complain about this, if I didn't complain about this I'd be complaining how lucky some pregnant chic is to be able to complain about it.
So yes I want what I have. I don't wan the pregnancy to end early. I'm not wishing it would either even with all the discomforts that have come with it. Yes, I'm ready to meet my daughter but in good time. For now I will continue to get her clothing ready, work on her scrapbook, read adult books while I still can and work on a blanket for her big girl bed.
Monday, June 16, 2014
Savannah Photo Session
Saturday J and I drove down to Savannah to do our maternity photo shoot. I think it went pretty well. We only had one glitch but that can be photo shopped according to our photographer. J couldn't find his tan t-shirt that he packed for the shoot. Oh, he found it the next day at the bottom of his gym bag which doesn't surprise me since the thing is a veritable bag of holding.
So far only three unedited photos are available for me to view. It was a two hour session which means that well over one hundred photos were taken. I'll share with you the three that I have. I did pay extra for the flash drive with the signed photo release so that I can make more photos over the years just in case something happens to the photos that I give to the family.
Okay so no my bump isn't that huge. Victoria had me pose in a way that made it look larger plus add in the fact that I'm not wearing a maternity dress. Yes that is correct, I still fit into my normal clothing at 34 weeks. Rather scary but I'm being honest. Baby girl isn't going to be huge. Today I bought more in the newborn sizes for her that I had previously purchased in 0-3 months and up sizes. Yes, I was expecting a larger kid when I saw how big her hands and feet were. All is well since she is healthy. And no I still don't have an answer on the echocardiogram and what path they want to take for the baby's safe delivery. Rather hard to want to do Hypno babies when you can't relax and plan for a natural birth or even finish packing one's bags for massage things either. So annoyed. Hopefully I'll have an answer later this week. First clothing options for this photo.
All of these photos were taken in and around Forsyth Park in Savannah Georgia. This was the first time I was there. See now, my bump really isn't all that large even with the stripes giving the illusion that it is bigger. I still need suspenders to keep up the maternity pants I swear. This was the first clothing change for us both.
See the white t-shirt issue? This was J's second clothing change. I was assured the white t-shirt issue could be turned tan for the final photos. The onesie we are holding was the first piece of baby clothing that we bought over seven years ago when we start trying to conceive a baby. J had just joined the military and I had been off the pill for about 3 months at the time. The onesie says, "US Baby Drool Sergeant". One cool thing I noted, I can start to see my collar bone again as seen slightly in the photos. I haven't seen that since I started the fertility treatments in 2007!
So far only three unedited photos are available for me to view. It was a two hour session which means that well over one hundred photos were taken. I'll share with you the three that I have. I did pay extra for the flash drive with the signed photo release so that I can make more photos over the years just in case something happens to the photos that I give to the family.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Fact Finding
Yesterday I spent almost four hours at the salon. So yes, not all of it was on my hair some of it was a gab session.
I met several nice ladies at the salon. The one coloring my hair was a former Army SGT. The one in the drying chair next to me was a former 1stSGT and the one getting her hair cut was a former Col.
The one I met upon check-in is my age and also infertile. She said seeing me 8 months pregnant and only 8 days older than her gave her hope for the infertility treatments she was thinking of embarking on soon. Instant friendship there. I will be going back to this salon again.
We ladies talked a lot about pregnancy, family, Army, duty to the family and the soldiers. It was just so nice. Before I knew that the woman getting her hair cut was a former doctor we were just gabbing about the pregnancy and the fertility treatments. She was quite knowledgeable which should have tipped me off. Her job in the Army started out as a pediatrician, she then switched to Internal Medicine and became Chief of Surgery. She said with the PFO (patent Foramen Ovale) not being found in my first echocardiogram 5 years ago that it means that the hole formed in my heart from the increased blood volume during pregnancy and that I should seriously consider the Cesarean section option if given that choice. She explained to me the risks involved if going natural.
Today I visit my high risk OB in Savannah. Hopefully I'll be given more information about what to expect. I no longer expect to have the chance for a natural birth nor do I think I want to take the risks involved. While, yes, I am still willing to give my life to save my daughter's life I'd also like to be there to watch her grow up. With the hole in the heart there are still high risks that even with a C-section I could die in the 6-12 week after delivery when the body is trying to recover. I doubt that will happen as I'm one strong willed woman that wants to live and will fight to make it happen. However, it is nice to have a reality check now an then to put things into perspective.
Maybe today I'll find out what the heck a "squishy septum" also means when it came to my heart. From what I could find out online it is a third heart sound which is not uncommon during pregnancy.
I'll update more as time goes by. Next week I see my regular OB and will know what he suggests too. Nothing like a second and third opinion to scare the dickens out of you!
I met several nice ladies at the salon. The one coloring my hair was a former Army SGT. The one in the drying chair next to me was a former 1stSGT and the one getting her hair cut was a former Col.
The one I met upon check-in is my age and also infertile. She said seeing me 8 months pregnant and only 8 days older than her gave her hope for the infertility treatments she was thinking of embarking on soon. Instant friendship there. I will be going back to this salon again.
We ladies talked a lot about pregnancy, family, Army, duty to the family and the soldiers. It was just so nice. Before I knew that the woman getting her hair cut was a former doctor we were just gabbing about the pregnancy and the fertility treatments. She was quite knowledgeable which should have tipped me off. Her job in the Army started out as a pediatrician, she then switched to Internal Medicine and became Chief of Surgery. She said with the PFO (patent Foramen Ovale) not being found in my first echocardiogram 5 years ago that it means that the hole formed in my heart from the increased blood volume during pregnancy and that I should seriously consider the Cesarean section option if given that choice. She explained to me the risks involved if going natural.
Today I visit my high risk OB in Savannah. Hopefully I'll be given more information about what to expect. I no longer expect to have the chance for a natural birth nor do I think I want to take the risks involved. While, yes, I am still willing to give my life to save my daughter's life I'd also like to be there to watch her grow up. With the hole in the heart there are still high risks that even with a C-section I could die in the 6-12 week after delivery when the body is trying to recover. I doubt that will happen as I'm one strong willed woman that wants to live and will fight to make it happen. However, it is nice to have a reality check now an then to put things into perspective.
Maybe today I'll find out what the heck a "squishy septum" also means when it came to my heart. From what I could find out online it is a third heart sound which is not uncommon during pregnancy.
I'll update more as time goes by. Next week I see my regular OB and will know what he suggests too. Nothing like a second and third opinion to scare the dickens out of you!
Monday, June 9, 2014
A Bit More Complicated
Today I had the echocardiogram to see if my heart will be strong enough to go for a natural childbirth. The technician told me what she found and the doctors will decide from there as to what they will do. I know that the doctors had suggested inducing me for a natural birth earlier than 40 weeks but now they will have to add in just one more factor.
A Patent Foramen Ovale was found in today's echocardiogram. I'm not sure just how much more it will complicate things and I am still hoping to have a natural childbirth.
It really isn't a big deal as a lot of folks have one. I'm not too worried. But I'll still have to deal with what the doctors want and hope it matches what I'd like to have for a birth.
So because I'm at an increased risk for stroke it is a good thing that I've been on a baby aspirin regime for more than a year now. This might really help me out if I'm allowed to go natural.
For more information on the above little hole click on the link http://www.stroke.org/site/PageServer?pagename=PFO
And yes this could be the cause of some of my migraines too. Rather interesting find today but like I said I'm not too worried about it.
A Patent Foramen Ovale was found in today's echocardiogram. I'm not sure just how much more it will complicate things and I am still hoping to have a natural childbirth.
It really isn't a big deal as a lot of folks have one. I'm not too worried. But I'll still have to deal with what the doctors want and hope it matches what I'd like to have for a birth.
So because I'm at an increased risk for stroke it is a good thing that I've been on a baby aspirin regime for more than a year now. This might really help me out if I'm allowed to go natural.
For more information on the above little hole click on the link http://www.stroke.org/site/PageServer?pagename=PFO
And yes this could be the cause of some of my migraines too. Rather interesting find today but like I said I'm not too worried about it.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Distracting Myself
I've been distracting myself from thinking about what could possibly be wrong with baby girl's growth by working on her nursery. Now that the closet in the master bedroom is back in place I've moved all of our clothing over to where it should be.
Saturday evening the crib is due to arrive. Hopefully we'll have it put together by Sunday afternoon. Meanwhile I've washed all the crib and bassinet bedding and I even ironed her crib skirt since it came out so wrinkled from the dryer.
Today I'll be hanging up the pictures and the shadow box in her room. The shadow box was something that my maternal grandfather had made for my mother when she was a little girl. My mom was surprised to hear last night that I still had it. Why wouldn't I have it? I try to take care of all items that are passed down through the generations. Baby girl will be getting my maternal grandmother's hope chest when she turns 16 just like I received it. The hope chest was made from the top of an upright piano by grandma's father. For now it is used as my coffee table in the living room. Since it is also of cherry wood it will fit in nicely with the crib once it is morphed into her double bed, the night stand and the student desk all of which are made of cherry wood. I will eventually replace baby girl's maple bird's eye dresser with a cherry wood one so that even though they might not be a matching set fully they will be of the same wood and similar finish.
I like sitting in my daughter's room on the bird's eye maple rocker just rocking there and dreaming of what will be. I know she won't be perfect but I wasn't either and have no expectations of the such. I dream of rocking her, watching her grow and learn and someday leaving the nest to start her own life. I hope that I stay healthy and will be there to see it all. My maternal grandmother didn't live to see me born nor my older brother. But back in the 60's cancer was a life sentence, today not so much. Now if the next pap comes back with the squamous cells being worse than before at least I know they can catch it in time and with treatment I'll live a longer life to see all those wonderful life goals of my daughter's.
I have been taking photos of the progress I've been making on the nursery. It is less of a disaster area now than it was a few weeks back. The carpet is in place, the mamaroo is on a smaller version of the bigger carpet and the rocking chair has a carpet under it too. For now the bassinet is off to the side of the room where the crib will go. The bassinet will either get moved to the master bedroom or moved to the middle of the nursery. We haven't decided which and since our room is right across the hall it would be easy to leave the bassinet in her room.
just a corner of the mess from before. Next four photos are what it looks like now that I've moved things around.
A bit more organized in the last four photos. Like I said I still have to do more. Today I'll hang up the Peter Rabbit posters, the shadow box and the painting of Kathleen that I planned on putting in her room. Same one I had at JBLM. Kathleen was the lady that babysat my paternal grandfather and also my brother and I when we were kids. She died when I was just 7. The photo is of her when she was a little girl and is done with pastels over the photo to create an accent with the effect of a painting. I still have to put up the Peter Rabbit decals which will create a border around the room. The crib bedding is also Peter Rabbit. Yes, I'm a big fan of Peter Rabbit!
Saturday evening the crib is due to arrive. Hopefully we'll have it put together by Sunday afternoon. Meanwhile I've washed all the crib and bassinet bedding and I even ironed her crib skirt since it came out so wrinkled from the dryer.
Today I'll be hanging up the pictures and the shadow box in her room. The shadow box was something that my maternal grandfather had made for my mother when she was a little girl. My mom was surprised to hear last night that I still had it. Why wouldn't I have it? I try to take care of all items that are passed down through the generations. Baby girl will be getting my maternal grandmother's hope chest when she turns 16 just like I received it. The hope chest was made from the top of an upright piano by grandma's father. For now it is used as my coffee table in the living room. Since it is also of cherry wood it will fit in nicely with the crib once it is morphed into her double bed, the night stand and the student desk all of which are made of cherry wood. I will eventually replace baby girl's maple bird's eye dresser with a cherry wood one so that even though they might not be a matching set fully they will be of the same wood and similar finish.
I like sitting in my daughter's room on the bird's eye maple rocker just rocking there and dreaming of what will be. I know she won't be perfect but I wasn't either and have no expectations of the such. I dream of rocking her, watching her grow and learn and someday leaving the nest to start her own life. I hope that I stay healthy and will be there to see it all. My maternal grandmother didn't live to see me born nor my older brother. But back in the 60's cancer was a life sentence, today not so much. Now if the next pap comes back with the squamous cells being worse than before at least I know they can catch it in time and with treatment I'll live a longer life to see all those wonderful life goals of my daughter's.
I have been taking photos of the progress I've been making on the nursery. It is less of a disaster area now than it was a few weeks back. The carpet is in place, the mamaroo is on a smaller version of the bigger carpet and the rocking chair has a carpet under it too. For now the bassinet is off to the side of the room where the crib will go. The bassinet will either get moved to the master bedroom or moved to the middle of the nursery. We haven't decided which and since our room is right across the hall it would be easy to leave the bassinet in her room.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Trying to Stay Positive
My mind is a mess right now. I hate to say it but I think I'm actually getting depressed from yesterday's OB news. Probably quite understandable.
Before I left JBLM baby girl was fine at the 47th percentile. Yesterday not so good. Overall she was only in the 27th percentile for weight and her head was only measuring in the 9th percentile. The high risk OB is worried but says that there is nothing that I could do or can do.
We are now hoping that I make it to the 34th week and that she continues to grow. She only gained a pound in the last month. She now weighs 3 lbs 13 ounces which is about a week behind for weight as she should be weighing about 4 lbs 4 ounces.
I'm not really worried about the weight. I didn't expect a 9 pound baby. I was only 6 pounds 4 ounces at birth and my husband was something like 7 pounds 13 ounces. With the fact that I haven't gained weight, but the doctors were fine with that I also knew she wasn't going to be huge except for her big hands and feet which are a trait in my husband's family.
Yes, after yesterday's appointment the OB staff is almost positive J is the genetic father and it isn't the donor embryo but the donor egg with his gametes that took. The donor embryo had tall genetics in it. The donor egg lady was only 5'3" and J is only 5'8". The women in J's family have slightly above average shoe and glove sizes though most are only about 5'3" in height.
We are also hoping that maybe our daughter will just be petite?
The head size is what is scary. Next week they'll be taking an in-depth look at my daughter's umbilical cord to see if there are any possible defects. The only other thing that could have caused her head to be so small besides a defect in her umbilical cord would be the hypertension issue. But the hypertension was there before I got pregnant and well controlled on the medicine I've been taking for the past 5 years.
The problem with the head size is that it could mean developmental defects. I will still love her even if she isn't "perfect" to the humans of the world. She is mine. Damn it I want to cry. I just want the best for her and I know I tried to do just that by really watching my diet closely and relaxing during stressful situations. But there are just things that we cannot control.
Please God just let her continue to grow and stay inside of me long enough so that she comes out healthy. Please?
Before I left JBLM baby girl was fine at the 47th percentile. Yesterday not so good. Overall she was only in the 27th percentile for weight and her head was only measuring in the 9th percentile. The high risk OB is worried but says that there is nothing that I could do or can do.
We are now hoping that I make it to the 34th week and that she continues to grow. She only gained a pound in the last month. She now weighs 3 lbs 13 ounces which is about a week behind for weight as she should be weighing about 4 lbs 4 ounces.
I'm not really worried about the weight. I didn't expect a 9 pound baby. I was only 6 pounds 4 ounces at birth and my husband was something like 7 pounds 13 ounces. With the fact that I haven't gained weight, but the doctors were fine with that I also knew she wasn't going to be huge except for her big hands and feet which are a trait in my husband's family.
Yes, after yesterday's appointment the OB staff is almost positive J is the genetic father and it isn't the donor embryo but the donor egg with his gametes that took. The donor embryo had tall genetics in it. The donor egg lady was only 5'3" and J is only 5'8". The women in J's family have slightly above average shoe and glove sizes though most are only about 5'3" in height.
We are also hoping that maybe our daughter will just be petite?
The head size is what is scary. Next week they'll be taking an in-depth look at my daughter's umbilical cord to see if there are any possible defects. The only other thing that could have caused her head to be so small besides a defect in her umbilical cord would be the hypertension issue. But the hypertension was there before I got pregnant and well controlled on the medicine I've been taking for the past 5 years.
The problem with the head size is that it could mean developmental defects. I will still love her even if she isn't "perfect" to the humans of the world. She is mine. Damn it I want to cry. I just want the best for her and I know I tried to do just that by really watching my diet closely and relaxing during stressful situations. But there are just things that we cannot control.
Please God just let her continue to grow and stay inside of me long enough so that she comes out healthy. Please?
Monday, June 2, 2014
32 Weeks 1 Day
Yesterday I took the day off from the internet, tv, and anything outside of the home. Yes I stayed home all day. I have no energy. It is like the first trimester all over again. Anything I eat just comes back up.
This morning I had a protein bar and a glass of juice of which both are now coming back to haunt me. I can't sleep because of the pain from the spinal stenosis in my neck. The way the baby is positioned it is hard to breath and affecting my asthma.
My main joy right now is watching her kick a lot. I am reassured when I see her kick that all will be well.
Dad is still in the hospital. He's been there for two months. He is starting to bloat back up again from the high salt food and he is developing gout. Mom and I are guessing it won't be much longer until he is battling another round of congestive heart failure with all the fluid retention. Truly I can't ever remember him being in the hospital this long before. I'm starting to wonder if he will ever get out alive.
Over the weekend my cousin J9 gave birth to her twin boys. Both weighing over 5 pounds a piece. Not bad for a few days past 35 weeks. Here is hoping that they both have long lives without health issues. Her story isn't mine to tell so I'll leave the details out of this post.
Balfour Beatty Reality is presently trying to fix the closet issue that they started working on Friday afternoon. Friday they tore out the master bedroom closet ceiling and removed three black garbage bags of materials from the space. They realize that the support walls are rotted out. However, they aren't going to fix it. They were told to only do the minimum. Since it isn't a contractor doing the work I can only assume that Jim Grainy lied to me for the past month when he said that he was waiting on 2 to 3 bids from outside contractors to get the work done in that space. Most likely they just didn't want to do the work. I live on one of the four remaining streets in a village that has all been rebuilt. And no there is no date upon which I'll be asked to move out so that they can tear down this condemned section of housing. Yes, it was condemned! But this is typical of the Army housing. The Army command is well aware of the housing issues at each of the installations. That is the reason why they sold the housing to private realtors so that it could be fixed. Little did the Army know that the new owners wouldn't fix the issues with housing in a timely manner because it isn't profitable.
My village is standard issue 2 bedroom for E1-E6 pay grade with up to two children non-school age. The fact that the housing contains mold, lead paint, and asbestos doesn't matter to those that collect our BAH. They actually dared to tell us that it doesn't have lead paint. LOL I could smell the mold when I walked through the place and they said they'd take care of that. Well they didn't.
I told J that he needs to study, go to the board, get promoted to E-6 and while he is waiting for that to happen hope that in 6 months his window to re-enlist will open up at 18 months out so that he can request a new duty station in a years time. I'm really afraid to raise my daughter in a unit that should have been ripped down 5 years ago as many a neighbor has told me. Yes, my own neighbors have told me that it was condemned.
Well enough of that. I guess my last few posts haven't gone over all that well with followers as I've lost two of them. Too much complaining? Too many pregnancy updates?
Well sorry to offend but it is my blog.
And here is a 32 week photo:
I still haven't gained weight. I thought I had but as it turns out I lost 2 pounds. Hoping I gain a pound or two soon as people are starting to wonder if I'm trying to diet and I'm not!
This morning I had a protein bar and a glass of juice of which both are now coming back to haunt me. I can't sleep because of the pain from the spinal stenosis in my neck. The way the baby is positioned it is hard to breath and affecting my asthma.
My main joy right now is watching her kick a lot. I am reassured when I see her kick that all will be well.
Dad is still in the hospital. He's been there for two months. He is starting to bloat back up again from the high salt food and he is developing gout. Mom and I are guessing it won't be much longer until he is battling another round of congestive heart failure with all the fluid retention. Truly I can't ever remember him being in the hospital this long before. I'm starting to wonder if he will ever get out alive.
Over the weekend my cousin J9 gave birth to her twin boys. Both weighing over 5 pounds a piece. Not bad for a few days past 35 weeks. Here is hoping that they both have long lives without health issues. Her story isn't mine to tell so I'll leave the details out of this post.
Balfour Beatty Reality is presently trying to fix the closet issue that they started working on Friday afternoon. Friday they tore out the master bedroom closet ceiling and removed three black garbage bags of materials from the space. They realize that the support walls are rotted out. However, they aren't going to fix it. They were told to only do the minimum. Since it isn't a contractor doing the work I can only assume that Jim Grainy lied to me for the past month when he said that he was waiting on 2 to 3 bids from outside contractors to get the work done in that space. Most likely they just didn't want to do the work. I live on one of the four remaining streets in a village that has all been rebuilt. And no there is no date upon which I'll be asked to move out so that they can tear down this condemned section of housing. Yes, it was condemned! But this is typical of the Army housing. The Army command is well aware of the housing issues at each of the installations. That is the reason why they sold the housing to private realtors so that it could be fixed. Little did the Army know that the new owners wouldn't fix the issues with housing in a timely manner because it isn't profitable.
My village is standard issue 2 bedroom for E1-E6 pay grade with up to two children non-school age. The fact that the housing contains mold, lead paint, and asbestos doesn't matter to those that collect our BAH. They actually dared to tell us that it doesn't have lead paint. LOL I could smell the mold when I walked through the place and they said they'd take care of that. Well they didn't.
I told J that he needs to study, go to the board, get promoted to E-6 and while he is waiting for that to happen hope that in 6 months his window to re-enlist will open up at 18 months out so that he can request a new duty station in a years time. I'm really afraid to raise my daughter in a unit that should have been ripped down 5 years ago as many a neighbor has told me. Yes, my own neighbors have told me that it was condemned.
Well enough of that. I guess my last few posts haven't gone over all that well with followers as I've lost two of them. Too much complaining? Too many pregnancy updates?
Well sorry to offend but it is my blog.
And here is a 32 week photo:
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