Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Two Hearts; not always better than one

There are days I just want to have a hissy fit.  Today might just be one of them.

0845 hrs J drops me off at Madigan so I can get my blood work done then go to my appointment at the RE clinic at 1040 hrs.

Lab runs me through quickly which was rather surprising.  At 0915 hrs I'm at the clinic.  I tell the receptionist that I know I'm early but I'll wait since I had to get blood work.  She puts my folder up on the top of the desk.  I get called in next.  Okay so much for waiting.

At this point it doesn't matter about the blood work.  I know I'm not pregnant and I know with the pain, diarrhea, and nausea I've been getting things aren't good.    In comes Dr. B.  In goes the probe.  Up on the screen he marks where I'm shedding my uterine lining and mentions that I've probably got a few more days to go with that.  I knew that too. 

Now for the bad stuff.  Yup the cyst is still there.  Its not smaller.  Still same dimensions just a different shape.  Its shaped like a heart.  A 5 CM HEART!!!

So no letrozole for me. 

No pass go and collect extra follicles this cycle.

Sex only  with extra caution and no deep penetration because we might just twist the ovary.  I'm not winning folks.

The only good thing that Dr.B. said was that I'm ovulating on my own.  He said that unfortunately I'm not producing quality eggs.  This I knew.

Again I chat with him about the Donor Egg Program in Seattle.  J isn't with me, he is at work.  I'm waiting on his re-enlistment when his profile has expired.  That is if they'll let him re-enlist.  Talk about stress.

I walked home from the hospital.  Its less than a mile and I can use the exercise.  I've only lost a pound this week.

Yes, we are done with my DNA unless a miracle occurs. 

We are done trying totally unless he can re-enlist.

We can't do donor eggs until we get my cyst issue under control.  That means birth control, most likely, once it is resolved.  We need to prevent further estrogen producing cysts which would muck up a donor egg cycle.

I have to say I'm disappointed with the cyst still being there but I knew it was there from the symptoms I've been getting.  However, I am excited, but I don't want to get my hopes up that we can move on to donor eggs.  I want to do donor eggs.  I'd rather eliminate the possibility of passing on some genetics that are mine that could be bad (IE: endometriosis, fibromyalgia, heart disease, diabetes on both sides of my family) and go with the "rock star" eggs.

Keep me in your thought and prayers if you would.  Next RE appointment is slated for 4 September.  We'll see what the next scan shows in a month.

21 comments:

  1. Thinking and praying so hard for you dear friend. Take care of yourself. Sending tons of love and support and HUGE HUG xoxo

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    1. Thanks. Think I'll be sticking to the endo diet for a long time to come in my tries to lower the estrogen.

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  2. I hope your cyst is gone by next appointment that way you guys can start moving on with another plan of action.

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  3. Thinking of you. Hope things work out for your hubby and the donor eggs!!

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    1. I'm hoping that it all falls into place nicely but I'm prepared for the worst.

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  4. Stupid cyst :( Glad you were seen. Are they controlling your pain?

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    1. No they aren't controlling my pain. They did put in a referral to a place that is almost an hour drive away. Too far for me. I'm going to try to challenge it and get something closer.

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  5. I'm sorry about the cyst and being done with your eggs (*hugs*) I hope that you do get to move forward with donor eggs.

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  6. I really hope that your cyst resolves so you can get out of this limbo and plan your next steps.

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    1. Its so annoying to be stuck here for what seems like months...oh wait it has been months! UGH!

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  7. Ugh, how irratating. I rememeber waiting for my cyst to go away. It's hard. I am glad that you have made decisions regarding eggs. It's a bit of a weight off I imagine to have made that leap. I just hope things work out for you hon.

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    1. Cysts are a never ending story with me. I just hope it abates enough so that I can do the donor egg protocol.

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  8. Ugh I hate you cyst! I hope it goes away soon!

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  9. Hi Rebecca, I saw your comment on Alex's post so hopped over here to read the latest (I've been a little absent, sorry!). My DH and I had a really good IVF consult with Dr. Z. at UW and are going to try one "last ditch" IVF with my eggs this fall using an experimental protocol (with recombinant growth hormone) that has show. Promise for women over 40 with diminished ovarian reserve. I'm only 38 so not really in the test group, but close, but he eats to try this on me b/c he understands it's our last try and I'm unlikely to have success with other DOR protocols. This is a compromise; I'm ready to move to DE but DH needs "proof" that my eggs don't work before he'll move on. That said, I have a phone consult with PNW Fertilty's egg bak director this week to get my questions answered about that process. I've heard great things about the clinic and the process, so I'm hoping I'll have a good consult. I'd love to have a comrade in this journey if you go this route, too!

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    1. I've heard great things about them too. Now if only they'll respond to any of the three emails I've sent to them over the past week we might just do some business with them. Not sure why they haven't responded but I'm a tad miffed.

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