Attempting A First

As the time comes closer for the guys to come back I'm in on the planning committee to make a few welcome homes a bit better.

Just three gals, including me, showed up to the meeting with the head and two others that also work with the head.  Yes, I'm being vague since I can't be specific.

We decided posters for the barracks but food for the guys when the get home to the main point.  I loved the idea of chili but I'll leave that up to the other two and I'll make the cookies as well cookies are my specialty.

So I'm prepping the house for the first ever huge amount of dough to be burned baked in my ovens over a two or three day period.  I'll be making twenty-four dozen cookies.  I would attempt to do it all in one day if I were still in my 20's but hey I'm not in my 20's and I'm pregnant.   I need to take it easy.

I'm in the processing of defrosting the butter which will take a few days since there is so much of it.  Great thing about butter is that it freezes well and I love to purchase at least four pounds of it at a time to have on hand for those baking emergencies.

I have the ingredients lined up for the most part with the exception of all the flour I'll need but I keep sacks, yes I keep several sacks, of flour on hand.  Hey, I like to bake and cook.

So we'll see what happens when the guys come home.  I don't even have a set in stone date yet.  I'm just planning ahead.

Doctor Called and It's Mixed News

Yesterday Dr. Reed, one of my OBs at MFM, called with the results of my Pap test.

HPV negative.  Good!

Abnormal Squamous cells.  Bad!


I've had an abnormal pap before, two over the past 15 years.  Usually the next one is okay again.  I've also been told by another RE in upstate NY that I have cervical dysplasia and had better hurry up and have kids.  That was almost 9 years ago.

So what they are going to do is keep an eye on it and retest after the baby is born.  Yes, I know that squamous cells indicate pre-cancerous cells for the most part and if removed/treated a possible good pap result next time.   Praying all will go well with this pregnancy.

In other news, I went to start the SUV and it wouldn't.  Not the first time.  I bought a new battery four years ago and in the last year have had issues with it starting.  Had to shell out  just over  $166 today for another new battery.  Such is life.

While they were checking around they did the free brake inspection, I had same company do the brake job a few years back and it is still under warranty such that there is on it, and guess what they found?  My brake lines, of which they didn't do last time, are worn out.  I got to see the damage first hand.  Ugh!  That will be another $490.

I know that I need new tires because last year two of them were in the yellow zone.  Now all four tires are in the yellow zone.  Not bad considering last time I bought tires for the SUV was July 2007.  So to replace them will be $684.

I plan on getting it all done before the 3000 mile drive out East.  I want my SUV running in the best shape possible so that I only have to worry about an accident from a driver not doing what they should rather than mechanical failure on my SUV's part because I didn't do the maintenance.

Oh and my oil is down a quart.  Can't find that spare quart of oil that J left for me.  He said he checked the oil before he deployed well I'm guessing he didn't because I've gone less than 50 miles with no oil stains on the garage floor so yeah um he obviously didn't check the fluid levels before he left.

Don't worry I gave him a polite update on what needs to be done.  He'll be home soon to take care of it all.   I'm not going to try to play mechanic and do it all myself.

A Well-Tempered Heart

I learned a lot about myself from this particular book.  Two things in particular I learned I will share here.

I learned that once an act of violence has been done to me I will most likely carry it around inside of me forever.  But it is up to me to forgive the person that did that violence against me.

I learned that because I was betrayed I will always feel betrayed unless I can learn to forgive those that betrayed me.

There are times that I don't want to forget or forgive.  It is just too hard when the nightmares plague my mind.  I can forgive the lesser insults but the deeply scarring ones are taking a lot longer to forgive even though some are more than a decade old.

Oh I realize that my mind might just be a bit freer if I can let it go and forgive that person or persons that hurt me.  But why should I forgive them?  Is it because I am wasting energy on thinking about them and what they did to me?  Is it because I feel as though they shouldn't be forgiven?  I can't tell yet.  I'm still at that point in my life that I am unable to deal with the full scale of the insult to my mind and person.

I'm not talking about an insult to me like what a bully would do.  I'm talking about something that leaves a deep scar on the brain and sometimes even on the body.  One scar that has healed is the one my brother inflicted on my face when we were children.  My brother cut my face with a knife while we were drying dishes.  I was only four years old.  My mother didn't take me to the ER to get stitches and I still carry some of the scar on my face though it has faded and can't be seen all that well now that I am four decades older.  It really is the fact that my brother lashed out at me with a knife in his anger.  It is the fact that my own mother didn't think the cut was bad enough for stitches.  Every school photo showed the scar on my face and often I was asked how I came about it.  I have forgiven my brother for the scar but I can't forgive him for the anger.  He still carries such violent anger around with him.

I have yet to forgive my parents for having a favorite child.  Now that I'm pregnant and my parents are wishing a boy upon me I wonder if they would be happy if I had a girl.  I am actually fearful that they would not love my child if it were a girl.  Yes, there are some scars that stay with me.  I was not loved as much as a child should have been because of my gender.  Too my parents I was almost useless as I would not carry on the family name.  A girl is nothing to them.  If I have a girl I'm not sure I want my parents near her for fear of what mental pain they might put her through.

This post was inspired by the novel A Well-Tempered Heart by Jan-Philipp Sendker.  Feeling lost and burned out, Julia drops her well paying job at a NYC law firm. After hearing a strangers’ voice in her head, she travels to Burma to find the voice’s story and hopefully herself as well. Join From Left to Write on February 4 we discuss A Well-Tempered Heart. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Wound Up

Thinking I need a good cry today.  Just to be left alone and cry a bit.  It is the hormones I know.

Even when I wasn't pregnant I would once a month get a day where I just needed to cry.  So I shouldn't be surprised when I have that moment, or moments who knows with another 26 weeks to go, where I'm so wound up.

My back is aching bad last few days.  Most likely not just because I'm pregnant but from the many issues I have with my back including bulging discs, degenerative disc disease, hypolordosis and scoliosis.  Oh and I did most of the house work on Sunday including heavy work but it had to get done.

Worn thin on patience and energy.  I want to be able to do more like most pregnant women.  However, I can't.  Not just because of the age but because of the underlying medical conditions.  Every time I see a doctor I'm told to take it easy.  Easy isn't always an option being an Army Wife when your spouse is deployed or away for training or school.

So there I'm complaining.  Have at it.

14 Weeks

First off let me say that for those of you that are worrying about my spouse not being fed, take heart and know now that according the email I last received from him he is now being fed.  Guess they found more food.  Maybe they were just rationing it to make sure they had enough to last?  I don't know but I'd rather no soldier go hungry because of budget cuts.

Budget cuts are getting bad with the military.  No longer are the soldiers being flown to the destinations if busing is possible.  One would think with an AFB in the back yard it would be feasible to fly them but no busing was cheaper this time.  25 hour bus trip to get where they had to go.  Just nuts in my opinion.

Okay enough chewing on that subject before I make the wound worse.

I'm 14 weeks today.  Yay!  Every day that I stay pregnant is another day of happiness.

The nausea is starting to subside.  I think it is because I am following the GD diet and eating often to prevent some of the nausea.  I do find that come bedtime I am a little bit nauseated but not as bad as I was.

OMG!  It felt like I had accidentally put Heet Liniment on my nipples this morning after my shower.  It hurt so bad.  I couldn't get the sport bra on quick enough.  Even then it took a good half hour before the compression feature worked to calm them down.

Still no weight gain.  That's okay I'm sure I'll start gaining when I hit the road at the end of the second trimester.  One can't help but gain weight when eating fast food even if it is salads because it is so hard to go without the full fat dressings and croutons!

Since J left I finished a baby blanket and three novels.  One of the novels is for my book club of which I'll be writing about soon.  Until that is posted here is a photo of the baby blanket.

Since we won't know the gender of the baby until it is born I'm going with neutral colors.  I'm fine with being team Green.

Forgetfulness and Crankiness

There are days that I wonder if it is "baby brain" or "fibro fog".  I wake up in the morning and forget what day it is in what season or month.  Yes that bad.

At yesterday's ultrasound I had difficulty getting the right words out when talking to the tech.  Could be the TBI too for all I know.

I did forget to mention what else was found in the ultrasound.  I still have that scar tissue, cyst, growth or what have you that rests behind my left ovary.  I was 4.5 cm before pregnancy and is now 9 cm across.  It looks like it has been squished down to about 2.5 cm.  I did ask about the length measurement but forgot to ask about the height.

If I remember I'll ask my doctor about it at the next appt.  No sense in writing it down because my next appt isn't until Feb 11th and I'll probably lose the paper I wrote it on.  I will write it in my calender book but that doesn't guarantee that I'll remember to look at it to ask that question either.

Too tired yesterday after the ultrasound and labs to go shopping for groceries so I went this morning.  Thinking about food just pisses me off.  I hate grocery shopping but right now I have another reason.

The reason is that I got an email from my spouse.
He said, " After that, there was time to find the chow tent, with rice, peas and carrots and some kind of beef strips in thick gravy.  Just in time too, because SFC came to ME a couple hours ago looking for MREs, apparently the ones we were issued for movement have all been used up, and only now are they delivering real food, and that apparently only once a day, but at least we're eating."

Just lovely!  Not only is he going through sleep deprivation but almost starvation too.  I hope they find more food for them soon.

I love how Congress keeps proposing budget cuts to the military.  The latest two are getting rid of the food allowance and housing allowance and instead forming some sort of COLA (cost of living allowance).  The food allowance is so the soldier can go eat at the DFAC or have food money to get food, not for the family to spend.  I always allow J's full amount of food allowance for his own food intake each month.  It isn't for me.

The second thing Congress is proposing is cutting the Commissary budget so that we would end up only having about 24 commissaries and the food cost there would go up.  Now how is that going to save the soldier's money when they have to pay more for groceries and they won't be getting a food allowance?  I guess that 1% raise they got this year is going to pay for all the little things that the government is taking away from them?

Sorry but this just burns my bippy!

Nuchal Scan

So far so good.  Baby is doing fine from what I could tell.

I lost 1.2 pounds overnight.  No, I am not trying to lose weight.  It is just a side effect of a high protein diet.

7 more weeks until the anatomy scan.  I don't want to know the baby's gender until it is born.  With all the technology used to get me pregnant I want something in good in this pregnancy to be a surprise.


The reason why no photos are given out at this scan is because too many ladies were just booking the scan to get photos and didn't go through with the blood work and second scan.  Yes, they ruined it for the rest of us.  The tech said as she was leaving the room that I could take a photo of the still that she left up on the screen.  So glad I brought my tablet with me.  I send J a photo of our baby as soon as I got home.

So if you don't want to see the baby turn your head now because I'm going to post a photo of the still left on the screen.

Not the best picture but hey it is a picture and I know that the baby is quite alive for today at least.

Testing

Tomorrow is the Nuchal Translucency Scan and I turn in a jug of pee.  What an exciting life I live.  I get to collect all my urine for 24 hours and bring it in to the lab.  Yay me!  Look everyone I can pee!

I won't be posting photos from the scan as they had me sign a paper stating that I know they won't be giving me photos.  Boo!

I doubt if I plead with them I'll get a photo.  I doubt  I can guilt them into a photo either when I tell them J is deployed.  It is an Army hospital, they've heard it all.

Still weigh the same.  After weighing myself I weighed the cat.  He has gained 0.4 pounds and now weighs 15.8 pounds.  So no worries about him not eating enough while J is gone!

Still having some nausea.  Still having fatigue though I think some of it might be from boredom.  The cat just can't communicate as well as my husband so I get bored.

That is my update at 13 weeks 2 days.

Comparing Photos Looking for a Baby Bump

I can't see a difference in the top photo taken today at 13 weeks pregnant from the bottom photo taken non-pregnant on 4 January 2012.  Okay sure different clothes with the ones I'm wearing today being non-clingy but yeah other than bigger breasts there is no change.  Oh and probably should have put my shoulders back in today's picture.

12 weeks 5 days

First off I want to show you all that I finally got photos of Bugsy, taken this morning, drinking from the faucet.  After these photos will be the ultrasound update and those photos so if you don't want to read on after seeing Bugsy's photos because it hurts I'll understand.  Don't mind my messy bathroom.  I have to color my hair this weekend.

Bugsy wouldn't hold still for photo of him drinking the water that was dripping on his head when he was drinking from the basin.  But trust me he loves water!

******Now look away if you need to.
The ultrasound went surprisingly well yesterday.  The Pap hurt and I had some bleeding which is typical.

The baby had hiccups from practice breathing.  It would take a breath and have some nerve stimuli which would cause it to throw its arms up in the air and back down with a body bounce.  So cute.  The nurse and doctor were amused and a bit amazed to see it this early in a pregnancy.

Dr. Reed is okay with my weight loss since I'm eating a high protein diet and the baby is right on track for growth.  He is inclined to think that yes I'll probably end up delivering closer to my own EDC than the one that PNW came up with for me.  But babies come when they come.

Next up is the 24 hour urine test.  I have my jug and will start it on Tuesday.  Wednesday I go for the Nuchal Translucency scan and blood work after.  Some of the blood work is genetic testing and the rest is for thyroid and other things Dr. Reed put me in for that I can't remember.  Heck after seeing the ultrasound I ended up with pregnancy brain and forgot almost everything.  I almost forgot to schedule my next appointment.

I found out that I'm part of what they call Critical OB or COB.  This means I'll be having more appointments to make sure that my health is continuing to be good along with the baby's health since I have so many medical problems.

High Risk Pregnancy

Yesterday I went to the seminar for obstetrics.  My neighbor TM, who is also pregnant and about a month ahead of me, went with me.  TM had already attended this particular seminar when she was scheduled to go but thought I might like a friend to go with.  I really appreciate her being their for me.

I am no longer scheduled to be seen by a midwife next week.  Yesterday my name was called by the OB high risk nurse there and we went over my paperwork.  Yes, I do qualify for high risk given the fact that I had an MI in early 2009, have high blood pressure, liver and thyroid issue and the list goes on.

Tomorrow is my first appointment with Maternal Fetal Medicine.  I'll be seeing Dr. Reed.  Much as I am looking forward to a possible ultrasound tomorrow I am not looking forward to the Pap smear being done.  With my anteverted uterus the Pap is never comfortable and actually quite painful.  Last year in January was my last Pap so there  is no getting out of it tomorrow.

TM and I went to the Xchange and Commissary after lunch.  I developed a migraine in the grocery check out and on the way home drove through a stop sign, luckily no one was coming and it wasn't a busy area.  I almost drove through a red light too.  I'm blaming the smog we are having and due to continue to have until sometime Sunday for the onset of the migraine.  My head is so stuffy and hurts, mind you that is with me staying indoors.

I didn't imbibe enough water yesterday with my busy schedule and managed to bloat up 0.8 pounds overnight.  My fingers are fat and hurt to bend.  I hate bloat.  Today I'm pushing extra fluids to remove the salts from my system.

Fingers crossed that tomorrow's ultrasound shows that there is still a growing healthy baby in my womb.  Will my paranoia ever end?  Probably not.

Finally Back on the Bed

Last night Bugsy decided I was worthy of his presence and decided to sleep on the bed once more.

He finally figured out that his human daddy's pillow still smells all nice and took it over.  I have to say it was a relief to have the cat finally settling in a bit.

On a bit of a fun note:
I tried, but was too late in making the decision, to get a photo of Bugsy on the bathroom vanity.  Seems he likes to lick the water out of the basin.  Not just any water though; fresh water.  I turned on the spigot and let the water run just a little and he'd lick it up as it fell.  Any of my other cats always hated water dripping on them but not Bugsy.  Bugsy just loves when the water flows over his head while he tries to catch the "raindrops".

When he was done playing I had already missed the photo opportunity.  I'll try again tonight if I remember.

I did dry him off after he was done playing in the sink.  He is such a good kitty.

Trying to Keep A Daily Food Goal

Yesterday:

4 large egg whites with salt, pepper, 2 TBSP grated cheese, and ketchup

1 small 100 calorie whole wheat bagel with cream cheese

8 ounces V-8 Fusion 100% juice

3 granola bars

1/4 cup mixed lightly salted nuts

1 cup Choibani Greek yogurt with 1/2 strawberries lightly sweetened

1 baked fish patty with sesame bun and mayonaise

64-90 ounces of water

After eating all that, the last granola bar was at 2030 hrs, I was stuffed.

I got on the scale this morning, I weigh myself every morning, hoping to see I'd possibly gained a bit of weight or at least stayed the same.  Nope!  I lost 0.8 pounds.

I guess I can say that the baby is still alive and eating a lot of the nutrients I'm pushing into my body.  If I wasn't fat I would really start to worry about the fact that I'm losing weight.  I have to stop and realize that I'll probably be only allowed to gain at maximum 20 pounds.

I will continue to eat healthy.  This morning I scrambled another 4 large egg whites and had a bagel with cream cheese on the side.  I am trying.  I need to find room in my stomach to put in more veggies.

Madigan has screwed up my OB schedule but good.  This week I had to play advocate for myself and schedule the Nuchal Translucency scan.  I have yet to actually meet my assigned OB and won't until the 24th of this month.

I should have had my OB intake seminar by week 8 or 9 and here it will be 12 weeks and 2 days by the time I have it.  Though I'm not keen on lectures unless it is going towards my degree plan I know I have to attend the lecture and turn in paperwork.  I'm just hoping they don't lose the paperwork.  I'll be pcsing in the early part of Spring.

I'll leave you all with a photo of Bugsy curled up on J's jeans.   Oh and if any of you have an idea on how I can actually gain weight during the second and third trimester please let me know.  I want to do it in a healthy manner and not stuff myself full of bad for me foods.

Missing J

Last night Bugsy refused to sleep on the bed next to me.  I found it really odd since his favorite blanket is on the bed.  Then I put two and two together.

Ah I see now.  The blanket that is his favorite is his favorite because when he decided it was his last year it had J's scent on it.  The blanket has been washed so many times now that there is no more scent of J left on it.  J isn't here to sleep with the blanket either.

I did a full load of J's laundry yesterday.  Somehow I missed a pair of his jeans.  I guess that is a bit of luck.

In order to settle Bugsy down for the night I had to put the jeans down on the floor near him.  He immediately took them over.  So that is the problem!  I took the jeans away from Bugsy and removed the belt from the loops.  I put the jeans on J's chair in the bedroom and put the cat on top of them.  Problem solved.  Bugsy slept all night on J's jeans.

J called this morning to tell me he arrived safely.  I had to tell him about the cat.  He is so amazed at how much the cat misses him.  I miss J too.

Now for a pregnancy update:

Still pregnant.  11 wks 5 days.   Zero weight gain.  Feeling odd flutters in the uterus.  Finding it difficult to learn to sleep on the left side.  Right side is no problem.

Still NAUSEATED!  Oh my when will this end?

For those of you that asked, yes I have a script of Zofran but No I'm not taking it.  It gives me a bad headache.

No bump to take photos of yet.  I can feel the hardness in my pelvis where the uterus is swelling with the baby.  If I'm anything like my mom and her mom I probably won't show until late in the third trimester.  When I do start to show I'll take a photo.  But in all seriousness I can still take my size 16 jeans off without unzipping them; there is just no bump.  Oh and I'm not a short chic so I'm guessing because I'm on the taller side of the curve the reason there is no bump yet is because the baby has plenty of room to stretch out.

Nucal Translucency Scan is set for the 22nd.  I will not be getting pictures from this scan as the form I had to sign says so.

Good News of Sorts

This morning my neurologist woke me up with a phone call.  I was actually surprised to hear from Dr. Freedman himself.

He wanted to discuss with me the MRI and EMG testing.  As I figured when I saw him Oct or Nov it is best to delay those tests until after the pregnancy is complete.  He said because there is no testing records on how it could harm a fetus they would rather wait.  I'm all for waiting too.

Dr. Freedman is going to put into his clinical notes that I need to have the MRI and EMG testing done after pregnancy at the new duty station.  He is thinking that I'll probably need surgery for at least the carpal tunnel if not spinal area at the back of the neck if his hunch is correct.  I asked him if physical therapy could be used instead as I really don't like the idea of surgery.  He agreed that they could try that for a while.  Again it would just be a temporary measure.

Honestly I'm afraid that with a slight slip I could be a quadriplegic.  With a newborn I'd be devastated with not being able to care for my baby.  I do realize that spinal stenosis is nothing to sneeze at when diagnosed with it but new technologies are always being developed and if my body can just wait it out maybe they can do something a bit less invasive to treat me.

In other news, I had to done a sport bra this A.M.  I have the good kind with under wires and plenty of support.  My left breast feels so much better in this bra.

I was sneezing so much this morning that I ended up giving myself a headache.

Weight is staying steady now for two days with the 0.6 pound weight gain.  I'm fine with that.  I'm still down 3.2 pounds from two weeks ago.

Nausea is still there.  Vomiting is still present mostly at night.

I'm trying to push more protein and am having troubles getting so much food into my stomach.  I had four egg whites with mozzarella cheese for breakfast again today.  For lunch I'm baking some fish for a fish sandwich.  Guess I should get into the Greek Yogurt soon which has 25 grams of protein per serving.

Still having issues getting milk into my body; darn food allergies/sensitivities.

I Can Tell It Is Monday

Monday is such a busy day in my household.  There is the normal laundry, bill paying, and residual house work that didn't get finished over the weekend ie: laundry, more laundry and where the heck did that piece of laundry come from!

Today it is a bit different.  Besides laundry I have a bunch of calls to make to doctor offices.  Now that I have a clear month where I know I'll have the car to my access I'm trying to schedule as many of my doctor appointments as possible for that time.

I called Neurology for the follow up.  Glad I did as they forgot to put into the system last Autumn the request for EMG and MRI they wanted to do on me during the second trimester.

I called OB to schedule the Nucal scan.  Turns out they forgot about it too.

I also called OB to find out my sugar scores.  94 fasting, 175 first hour, 146 second hour, and 100 third hour.  I guess it looked good because no one bothered to call me.

Now I just need to find out the date of the Nucal Scan when I pick up the form on Wednesday.  Next I can schedule the EMG and MRI and finally I can schedule Bugsy's teeth cleaning.  I was going to have his teeth cleaned this month but it takes two people to get him into his cage for transport.

Oh and I gained back in bloat 0.6 pounds from eating pizza yesterday.  I paid for it when the puke started to come out my nose.  I swear there is nothing I can eat without it coming back, not even a veggie pizza.

Breakfast this morning was 4 egg whites with 3 tbsp of grated mozzarella cheese and freshly ground pepper and salt.  So far 40 minutes later it is still staying down.  We'll see if it makes it for the full hour.

Guilt Tripped

Yesterday I decided to get out of the house for a short trip across the road to the Exchange and Commissary.  I need to get wax and hair color at the Exchange.  I needed about $55 in grocery items to include bird seed and cat food at the Commissary.

On the way out of the Exchange I was greeted by a chaplain's wife.  She inquired as to my well being.  I told her the morning sickness is awful.  I don't get out of the house much because of it.  I wasn't lying.  She said she looks forward to seeing me in church tomorrow.

Not like I'm being guilt tripped or anything!  This was after she gave me advice to eat 20 minutes before I get out of bed like she did with all of her pregnancies.  I'm not sure how many she has had but she has several living children, at least 5 that I have seen.

I explained that I cannot eat before getting out of bed because I have to take medications that call for an empty stomach first thing in the morning.  My thyroid medication is just one of the medications that must be taken on an empty stomach.

I don't want to go to church during flu and cold season.  J picked up a cold there before Christmas and passed it on to me.  Lucky me I was sick with it for the holidays, and while pregnant you can't take a thing for it.  Not fun when you have asthma.

So I went to church today.  Behind me a kid was coughing up and snorting up his snot.  He kept putting his fingers up his nose digging for gold then running his fingers around the backs of the chairs.  Just really gross.  I spoke to my husband about it while in church and said this is just the reason why I don't want to go here during cold and flu season.  God gave me the gift of my baby and I'll be damned if I am going to allow sickness that can be avoided to take it away from me.

Most likely I will not be attending while my husband is away for his deployment.  The season is ripe for flu if one has been listening to the news.  I've had my flu shot but I don't care to find out just how effective the vaccine is on me by being out in public more than needed.

To stave off some of the nausea during church services I popped a ginger pill just before entering church.  It helped some.  I also chose to bring with me a bottle of water.  I was going to sing with the rest of the congregation but I was a tad afraid to open my mouth and have vomit come out as I felt it rise up a few times.

Oh on the baby news...I made it to 11 weeks today.  This is officially the longest I have ever been pregnant.  Hoping I make it past 24 weeks!  My breasts have started to fill out.  Not good.  Already hard enough to find a 40 DD bra that is comfortable and now they are even bigger.  I also lost more weight this week.  In 10 days I've lost 3.8 pounds.  Wondering when I'll actually start gaining weight.  My clothes are getting tight so I guess the baby is growing at least.  Won't know for sure until the next ultrasound of which I've no clue when that is. This week I'll have to call and remind OB that I'm in my window for the nucal scan.

Happier At Home

This was the first book I've ever read by Gretchen Rubin.  I'll probably be finding myself at the local library checking out The Happiness Project to see how I can improve my life.

For me the possessions section of the book hit home.  I'll be moving this year with any luck unless the Army yet again changes the orders.  I'm going to have to de-stash.  I'm going to have to make sure my spouse lets go of things he thought he really needed too.

I want this move to be our best move yet.  I want to be able to load up the car with things that we'll need for a few weeks after we get settled and before our household goods arrive.

I don't want to be taking with us unspent ammo, perfume, lotions, ammo making supplies and food that the movers didn't pack.  I want to get rid of things that have no sentimental value. We can purchase what we need and want when we get to the new duty station.

I have an idea for packing up the SUV.  Our SUV is small.  I'll need to pack the kennel into a crate with the litter box, food dishes and a toy or two.  I'll need to pack a large suitcase to share with my spouse.  I'll need to make room for his gym duffle which will contain a few uniforms for various parts of the day.  Oh and I'll still need to make room for a cooler for snacks since I have gestational diabetes.  Then there is the Yafa block that contains the fluids, belts, wiper blades, plug in tire inflation device, and tire wrench.  The laptop and other electronic devices that are necessary with their adaptors will also have to find room in the vehicle too.

I'm not sure how I'm going to get all that I actually need into the SUV but I'll most likely make a packing plan.  There won't be room for the maternity pillow I'd like to buy.  My mom didn't have one and most likely I won't either.  I'll have to make due at the hotels with asking for extra pillows for sleep.

Luckily I started getting rid of things last year when I thought we'd be moving.  To the cousins went puzzles, cassette tapes, motorcycle helmets, clothing, decorations, books, candles, and anything else I knew I hadn't used in a long time. As I look around my home office right now I can see a few more things I wouldn't mind parting with too.

The first goal on my checklist for possessions is to hand off my copy for the book.  I handed it off to my spouse in the hopes that he'll get from it what he needs and pass it along next.  I think he could do well with loosening his grip on possessions.  The man collects everything including antique axes and I swear dust bunnies!

This post was inspired by Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin where she runs a nine month experiment to create happier surroundings. Join From Left to Write on January 6 we discuss Happier at Home. You can also chat live with Gretchen Rubin on January 7 on Facebook! As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Finally

Today was the last PIO injection...FINALLY!

Today was the last set of Alora patches...FINALLY!

10 weeks 3 days today.  Last ultrasound was at 8 weeks 4 days growth only one day behind my own, not the doctor's, estimated due date.  I still say the baby is due 27 July not 30 July as the last menses were on 20 October.

I FINALLY broke down and bought maternity clothing.  Oh I don't need them yet but I hope to next trimester.  Babies R Us was having a 70% off maternity clothing sale.  Unfortunately it didn't extend to the lingerie.  For $91 and change I purchased almost $300 in clothing.  I will probably need a few more items to fill in the wardrobe like a nice black dress for dates or church.   What I got with what I spent: 1 pair jeans, 1 pair dress pants, 1 pair leggings, 2 tshirt, 1 tank top, 1 short sleeved odd angle seamed shirt that distract the eye from the tummy, and 1 3 piece pajama set.  Oh and I almost forgot I also bought a parent to be card for my friend with that money as well.  So I actually spent less than $91 on all that clothing.

I've lost 3.2 pounds in 5 days.  Unfortunately I craved something last night and caved in.  It was a salty snack so I gained 1 pound of bloat back.  I wouldn't mind gaining if it wasn't water weight.

Not sure if my OB clinic is aware I'm now in the timeline for the Nucal scan.  I think since this clinic is so over crowded I'll have to be proactive with them as well.  The mass pregnancy appointment isn't for two more weeks where I'll sit through a 3 hour seminar and fill out more paperwork.  About a week later I'll have my appointment to actually see my OB team.  Maybe they'll then realize that oops we need to get her in for that scan within a week?

I'm still really worried about miscarriage.  I can't wait for week 11 to get here.  I just can't be hopeful right now as I lost the first pregnancy at 10 weeks 6 days.  For those of you that have lost pregnancies I think you can understand passing this milestone.

With J getting ready to deploy the house has not been a pleasant place to live.  I've thought about leaving for a while.  No it isn't getting violent on his end, just really shouting and stressful.  Deployments, even short ones, are hard on the military family.  My husband isn't very good at expressing himself until he blows his top.  Whereas I am the time to let him know when I am pleased or displeased right off.  I don't mince words.  Why let the anger fester I figure.  Get it out in the open where it can be dealt with right off and a solution still found while it is relevant.

I'm still waiting on the 3 hour glucose test results.  Maybe tomorrow it will be in.  When they do call I'll hopefully remember to let them know I'll be needing the nucal scan too.

Some photos of Bugsy at Christmas:

Yes that is me in jammies holding him.

He still loves me even after I put the hat on him.