Karma

I firmly believe that Karma does exist.  I don't always like how it comes back to me or to others if something bad has been put out there.  I enjoy the effects of good Karma often.

Where do I start with the good Karma that has happened in my life?  Lets see, okay I put out enough good into the world that I have a wonderful husband.  I have food enough for my table and the occasional guest.  I can now budget for a vacation when we get the time together.  But this good Karma only came about because I worked hard to get these much deserved things.  I had to be a good person first.  I had to try.

Now for the negative Karma.  I stressed out last cycle raising my blood pressure too much and felt the affects of bad Karma when I didn't conceive.  I have no one else to blame for me not getting pregnant but myself when I let the outside world, outside of my bubble, affect my own happiness.  This month I shall strive to attain happiness even during moments of stress.  I shall try to relax knowing that if I can achieve this it will benefit me with the hope for a baby.

I have to tell my readers what prompted this Karma posting wasn't the thought I put into the above but the fact that I just saw an ambulance pull up across the street to my neighbor's house.  I can only hope for this couple that she is just being the Drama Queen that she can be.  I really hope that she isn't losing her baby at five months.  I feel for her since I know what its like to lose a baby.  But I can only guess the reason why she is being taken away by ambulance is because she stressed herself out with trying to stay on top and be the boss of everyone around her.  When I first met her she said to me, "You know how there is the Alpha Male?  Well I'm the Omega Female!  I'm the boss of this family."   

I wish her only happiness and not bad things.  But really it is true that what we put out there does come back to us threefold.  Sure some of you may disagree with me on this, of course we all have different upbringings making us have different viewpoints.  For me its Karma telling her that if she continues on her rampage she isn't going to get what she really wants.  I know I need to relax and keep my blood pressure down.  Not that easy with the synthetic hormones of clomid racing through my system.  I need to find my focus, my center, and just concentrate on that to relax.

Maybe, just maybe if I think only of me for a change, not an easy task for a person that is a giver and nurturer to do, then I'll possibly get pregnant this cycle.  Next week Tuesday I have my ultrasound and will schedule my set of IUI's for the following days.  Yes we are going to dig deep into our pockets this month with more than one treatment.  I'll have to take it easy and avoid stress and the heavier housework.  But I have a plan to relax.  I have the yoga and Tai Chi that I can do to relax as long as the doctors approve.