Sometimes life has its painful lessons. Listed below are the ones I've learned of late.
1) I'm learning the hard way to put me first. I know that I've been saying for years now that I need to put me first when I'm in pain but still I some how end up the martyr. I'm so used to it that I have no idea how to change those habits except with extreme measures which usually involve me becoming quite vocal about how I need to be treated differently. But just how does one change when they are the cause of their own problems? If I want to be treated differently I need to set the rules for my own treatment and reinforce the good. I need to stop caving-in every time someone needs me.
2) I'm learning that while I'm supposed to take it easy it doesn't mean to just sit there all day and moan with the pain. I swear just laying about all day makes the pain that much worse. I know it causes my fibromyalgia to flare up. Those of you that are able to just lay about all day, I envy you and your recovery time.
3) I've learned that when I'm out-of-order and a couch dweller I cannot make myself feel better with sugar, fat and salt laden foods. Sure the temporary effect is just what I wanted but when I get on the scale its a nightmare. Since my last IVF in January I've gained 14 pounds. I could blame a good portion of it on the hormones and my doctors limiting my exercise to light housework only but really I think its more of a hand to mouth issue than anything.
4) I'm smacking myself upside the head every time I think about wanting to start an exercise program like Zumba or kick boxing or anything else that most women my age would be wanting to do. For me Yoga is an extreme sport and even then I've been told to only stretch just so far and call it quits. Right now stretching, as in yawn and stretch, still hurts my pelvis.
5) I've learned that giving up sugar and salt gives me a headache. That is a painful lesson that I'd rather hide from doing but I need to ween myself off the refined sugars and added salts again. My wedding rings were rather difficult to put on this morning making it another painful reminder of why I shouldn't eat Pork Bao. I love Bao in shrimp and pork but obviously its not good for me when I eat way more it than I should. I have no constraint when it comes to Bao.
6) I've learned that the melatonin I'm taking is helping my pain in the left side of my upper abdomen. Yeah weird huh? The prilosec after three weeks didn't eradicate the pain but two nights of melatonin and my stomach was feeling much better. Melatonin is supposed to help reduce the affects of stress on the body and create better quality eggs for IVF. No I'm not going to do IVF again, my eggs are crap but the melatonin helps with my sleep quality and stress reduction. Unfortunately if I do get pregnant I can't use it.
7) IVF does not guarantee a baby. It doesn't matter how great of an embryo quality you have because I've had two Grade A embryos and both pregnancies have failed. All it can guarantee is a lighter purse, heavier heart, fatter belly, and pain. Sorry if it seems like I'm putting my thumb down to IVF but so many of us have learned what I have learned. IVF is just a diagnostic tool that sometimes works with happy end results.