Baby Costs a bit of humor not to be take seriously

Most of you know by now that I am trying to conceive.  Some of you might know me well enough to note that I am a research junkie.  I refuse to make a life time or long time commitment to anything without doing the proper research.  Babies are costly and here is a link listing those costs.  http://www.whattoexpect.com/preconception/preparing-for-baby/work-and-finance/what-babies-really-cost.aspx?xid=GSLP_TFK_BabyCost_Srch&s_kwcid=TC|20759|cost%20of%20baby||S||5906383416&gclid=CJa9tvSX8aQCFQk8gwodgU9U0A

 With so many cribs being recalled I decided to research options yesterday.  More than one place suggested fixed, non-drop, side cribs.  I guess the drop side cribs are kind of wobbly or if you get a sixty pound baby in there that likes to throw themselves against that drop side it will drop off on its own accord.  Most cribs are safe up to a sixty pound weight limit.  I found a few suitable not overly expensive cribs, then I had a thought.  I was thinking of going to the lumber yard.  Why not by some plywood, sand it down smooth and apply some non-toxic paint.  I've seen the beds for adults that rest directly on the floor, the Feng Shui style.  Why can't I make a crib of plywood with a false bottom that is weighted.  This way the baby can't tip its cage, err I mean crib, over.  Oh come on now how many of you have noticed how much  cribs look like cages?  Its just missing the top.  They even have metal cribs.  One step better, empty out a dresser drawer and pad the bottom inside.  Great for a few months.  But if you are desirous of that baby cage look and have a dog in the family you could borrow its crate for a while, I'm sure the dog loves sleeping in your bed anyway.

When it comes to a bassinet, a great idea for hauling a kid from room to room, they have the Moses baskets.  Very cute straw baskets that are flexible.  Not sure I like just how flexible they are but they do have material liners that come out for laundering.  Hmm, laundering....makes me think oh yeah I've seen the same thing in laundry baskets.  Perfect.  With my sewing abilities I could whip up a nice liner for the laundry basket and purchase the thin mattress you buy separate for the bassinets.  Even a crib doesn't come with a mattress.

Baby toys are costly.  For those of you that are already parents you'll note that all those pretty toys often go to waste.  Most kids just want to play with your car keys, toilet paper rolls and empty boxes.  Go to yard sales, flea markets, and consignment stores if you must buy them toys.  You could even wash off Fido's Kong toy and let the use it for a chew toy.  Why not?  Its good for the dog.

Babies grow way too fast to be paying full price for clothing in the store.  Unless you are going to be taking a family photo why would you need to be buying a brand new outfit for the baby?  Again go to the yard sales, consignment stores and flea markets.

There are some unavoidable costs of raising a pet, err child.  You have to feed it and make sure you clean up after it.  I like the idea of cloth diapers but I'm thinking that the Medieval folks had a better idea.  If you wrap the kid in swaddling, hang it on a peg on a wall with a slop bucket under it you'll save on the cost of diapers.  Besides if swaddled tight enough the baby won't cry in hunger.  Can you believe they actually did this?  No wonder population was under control several hundred years ago.

Feeding the baby can be problematic, if you opt not to be a member of the dairy club.  Just like not everyone likes chocolate, some sick, twisted people don't like chocolate, not every baby will like the formulas out on the market today.  If you want your kid to like that powdered or canned milk I suggest adding something sweet.  How about some rum?  Am I kidding?  You decide.  My parents would rub rum on our gums when we were teething just to keep us quiet.   Rum, honey, grape juice, non pasteurized cow's milk are all no-no's for the baby under the age of one year.  Note that they don't tell you if you should pasteurize your own breast milk  but I bet they'll soon make a Federal Mandate on that too.



Disclaimer:  I am not responsible for any of my readers using the alternate suggestions for baby gear.  Also note I would not hang a kid on a peg as its child abuse by our modern day standards.  If you have taken seriously what I have posted you might need to seek immediate psychiatric help. This post has been one of humor for me to write today.  Oh and I don't have a pet, so there is no cage.