Sunday, October 24, 2010

Clomid Hell

Clomiphene Citrate also known as Clomid is the name of the fertility drug I'm currently on.  The side effects of this fertility drug can include: mood swings, weight gain, bloating, cramps, irregular menstrual bleeding, headaches, nausea, blurred vision, ovarian hyperstimulation, and twins.  I wouldn't mind conceiving twins however, I do mind the mid cycle cramping and bloating.  The pain I'm in today from the cramps, well it feels just like I've been kicked in the pelvic region.  It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, it hurts to bend.  I had totally forgotten the clomid hell I went through the first time around.

This past week I had the mood swings and my husband had no idea how to deal with them being so bad.  My mood swings on PMS are mild compared with what Clomid has done.  Its not bad enough he is dealing with a pregnant soldier at work but then he has to come home to a wife that is so moody she could kiss him one minute and bite his head off the next.

I'm hoping that being at mid cycle the mood swings will abate for a week.  Right now I think I'd rather have the mood swings than the pain.  Oh I know I'm being a big cry baby but I'm the one in pain.  I'm the one wearing my fat pants right now because my pelvic region looks like I'm in the fifth month.  I don't feel like eating because of the headaches and nausea.  I feel like taking a nap but I can't find a comfortable position, a position without pain.  I want to cry in frustration because I can't take pain killers.  Okay so I can take non-asprin but it doesn't help much, if at all.

I think men should have to go through child bearing, menstrual cycles, mood swings and pain that come with being a  woman.  Though my husband is a dear he looks with askance at me as if saying, "you know that I can't do anything for your pain so why are you angry with me".  Of course I'm looking back and will sometimes also verbally tell him, "if only you could feel what I feel, then perhaps you'd be more understanding!".  But he does try.  Maybe its just him fearing me yelling at him or perhaps him actually wanting to help.

Yes, his First Sergeant was right, men do become the enemy when we are in our mood swings, especially when pregnant.

 I've had one pregnancy on clomid but miscarried.  I'm hoping that this time around I'll carry to term.  At my age I don't care if its a boy, girl or multiple babies I just want a healthy one.

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