Wednesday, December 12, 2012
In Darkness there is Light and Hope
This year I know will be my last Christmas while trying to conceive. We are wrapping things up. It isn't that we don't have hope but that we are realizing that it isn't just the age of my eggs, even if they are still plentiful and good quality, it is the zona pellucida that has thickened making penetration by the sperm difficult and add in a hostile uterus.
We've created babies together. We've lost them together. Our marriage is still intact though wounded. Come April we'll be deciding what our next step is together.
I'll be hoping for lighter, brighter time together without having timed intercourse. Without worrying if we can afford another treatment. Without the stress and limitations I think our marriage will once again blossom.
Now I just hope for a miracle that my endometriosis doesn't get worse. I hope for better times. I hope that all my infertile friends will find a way to become parents.
My true hope if for all of you out there. I hope that you find joy and peace this holiday season no matter where you are on your life paths.