Though J and I know that this cycle is almost surely a bust we
talked, I cried, he consoled me yesterday. Today we talked some more.
Because he knows that now he was most likely at fault with the
morphology of his sperm being only 2% he is willing to try again.
We are going for broke.
Thursday
when I got the results of the early beta and they were less than 1 I
started to research. I went deep. Today I called SRM. I've used SRM
before and even though I didn't have luck, I used my own eggs back then,
I'm willing to give it a shot again. Why?
Well they
offer two donor egg programs. We could well afford the first one that
has absolutely no guarantee of a take home baby and gives us only 6
mature eggs. Or, and I'm choosing the or mind you, we could go with the
guaranteed plan where they have to give you a take home baby or you get
your money back at the end of 5 attempts. If we withdraw early from
the plan before we get the take home child then we get 80% back. I'm
sure the cost is going to make us scream because right now I have only
just enough saved up for the single shot. But we are going to go for
this.
J feels like he owes me this.
So
I told him I need him to get his sperm in shape. He can improve his
morphology and has done so in the past. When he got back from Korea in
2008 he was borderline on the morphology and he improved with proper
eating and taking his vitamins. He has really slipped up with drinking
way too much caffeinated beverages, mostly coffee, eating hormone rich
red meats, cold cuts, and so on. Since he is willing to try I'm happy.
We both like the idea of a guarantee. Who wouldn't?
J will have to tell his parents when we get the
beta results about donor eggs so that his parents don't decide to place
blame where it isn't due. I tried and I won't be anyone's scapegoat. I
lost weight, exercised, refrained from any sort of sex, gave up
exercise when told to and so on. You all know the game; especially
those of you that have done donor eggs.
Now to any of
my readers, if you have used the place I linked to, let me know your
experience with their guarantee program. I'm interested.
When I do the WTF appointment I'm going to be asking a lot of questions!
I really hope this works for you. I wish there wasn't blame in this whole journey, but I know all to well that there is. Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteI hate knowing now what I know. There are days I still wish I were blissfully ignorant when it comes to making a baby.
DeleteI'm glad you decided to keep trying. Good Luck friend!
ReplyDeleteWhat is cool is that I will get 5 attempts to make a take home baby. So when we move we'll still be able to use the same plan at another clinic that participates as far as I know...one is in Atlanta too.
DeleteWell that is a good idea then. If it can move with you.
Delete:( Hugs and prayers my dear friend!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jen
DeleteIts hard when a donor egg cycle fails because the success rates are so high. I felt like it was all my fault. Its good your husband is willing to try harder. I'm sending positive thoughts your way
ReplyDeleteSometimes bad things just happen but if they have nothing new to tell us when we go to the WTF appointment I'm going to get really angry.
DeleteI'd be asking a lot of questions too. It's good to have a plan in place and to have an action to follow through. I always find that comforting myself. Still hoping so much this there is some miracle in this for you and you won't need that plan, but I completely understand the doubt, the feeling of it being over, and the need to prepare to move on. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI'm still hoping that my pee sticks are wrong like they were back in 1996 when I was pregnant with twins. But I know that the pee sticks are a lot more sensitive now then they were back then.
DeleteThat's true they are more sensitive but my sister had a ton of negative ones and had twin boys.
DeleteThere is only so much you can do to improve morphology. Caffeine actually helps sperm motility and maturation rates. The antibiotics our clinic makes my husband take is the only thing that brings the morphology back into a acceptable range. The antibiotics are part of the IVf protocol all the time at my clinic, you could ask them if antibiotics could help. Poor morphology in guys is often from low grade infections.
ReplyDeleteI've still got everything crossed for you. If not for this cycle, then your next one.
The antibiotics make total sense because his Germ was listed as being a 2 on the SA.
DeleteGood luck! I hope that this option will be successful for you!
ReplyDeleteI would be pissed, too, if I wasn't getting any answers. You're shelling out big bucks. They should be up front and honest with you.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the guaranteed program. I'm still hoping so hard for you.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. The decisions are truly the hardest part - when to stop, how far to go, what to do, etc. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDelete