Thursday, January 13, 2011

Wishful Thinking

A four day weekend is upon us at midnight.  I'm wishing I could be on the beach in the photo above.  I know its not going to happen this weekend.  Sure I could hop a Space-A flight to this destination, however I can't guarantee I'd even get there before the weekend was over or back in time for Tuesday's work call.  One of these days I'll get to this particular place.  I'll take a nap on the beach.

No this weekend's plans seem to be all about what my spouse wants.  He's been a bit greedy of late.  I've brought that particular problem up in counseling.  For the past two or three weekends we haven't had a date night.  We've only done what he wanted.  I'm a little more cranky about it then normal due to the hormones I'm taking to try to conceive a child.  I want to go some where warm.  Some place with sunshine.  I don't care that I'm fat and wouldn't look my best in a bikini.  I just want to go on a vacation.  Trying to conceive is stressful.  I deserve a vacation.

Just this morning I snapped at my husband because he yet again forgot that it was trash day.  I shouldn't have to remind him.  He's been home long enough now and knows where the calendar is to see if its trash only or recycling too.  Some how he usually forgets.  If I remind him he calls it nagging.  If I don't remind him he complains that I didn't remind him.  No winning there.  So I called him up this morning and asked him if he forgot something this morning.  He realized what he forgot.  How could he not see the other trash cans up and down the street at the curb?  The chaplain told me that men forget a lot of stuff.  Well so do I.  I sometimes forget my name, the day, date, year, where I am no thanks to Fibromyalgia.  I don't use it as an excuse as often as my spouse does for his being a man and all men are forgetful. 

Tonight Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows is playing as a second run on post.  I'd like to go see it.  Heck I wanted to see it back in November.  My husband had promised to take me with my free movie tickets back in November but he never did.  After a year of going to the movies alone I'd like to go to the movies with him.  Sure I could take the car and just leave him here to his own devices but I'd like to have some couple time.  I read the Harry Potter collection of books when my husband was stationed in Korea on an isolation tour.  I've been wanting to see all the movies.  I own all the movies that are currently out on dvd.  My husband claims to have been wanting to take me to see the flic but two months have gone by.

I know I'm whining.  I'm lucky to have him home this year.  But I'd like to have my thoughts considered when we have time together.  I'd like to have a date night.  I'd like to plan a romantic vacation before we have a baby.  I don't mind going to see his family that lives nearby but why do we always have to do what he wants?  I cave-in to what he wants all too often because I know that he makes a lot of sacrifices.  There has to be a happy medium somewhere.  I'm going to find it.  I'm going to have that dream vacation to Hawaii eventually.  I have the chance while stationed here.  Oh heck, I'd just love to get stationed in Hawaii and have some sun for a change.  I love pork and pineapple and my husband loves SPAM.  I think we'd have fun in Hawaii.

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