Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia

Well I'm exhausted.  I think the only reason I'm now getting out of bed is to write the daily blog.  Unfortunately my viewings have gone down to just one daily for the past two days.  Maybe I should just throw in the towel on my blog too and stay in bed.  No self pity here is there?

I've been dealing with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia for about fifteen years now, or at least I was diagnosed fifteen years ago.  I want it all to just go away.  Yes, I realize there is no cure, there are only prescriptions that rarely work for me.  Right now with also trying to conceive a child I can't take the fibromyalgia medicines.

Being a research junkie, when I'm alert enough, I've been researching Fibromyalgia and Pregnancy.  I've read some testimonials of women who have the disease and how they've survived their pregnancy.  Its not going to be easy but I just keep telling myself that the reward of having a child will be worth all the discomfort I'll have to go through for forty weeks.  Its not like I can just read about a normal pregnancy on whattoexpect.com and say okay I can do this or this or that and I'll be just fine. 

What I needed before trying to conceive was a good network of doctors of which I obviously do not have.  Tricare does what it can but it is so overloaded now with special needs children, wounded warriors, and veterans that getting to see a specialist is extremely hard.  I've been at this particular installation for two years.  I've had my EFMP assessment and been told that I need to see specialists but when I broach the subject with my PA or PCM I get told that I don't need to see them.  Okay so how am I to get better?  I realize there is no getting better but there is a way to help lesson a few of the symptoms.  Hey doc how about prescribing me physical therapy, massage and acupuncture since I'm not able to take the drugs you'd like to prescribe to me?

I've also been researching the effects of hypertension on pregnancy.  I'll be going into a pregnancy with high blood pressure.  I take my medicine two times a day but my blood pressure is still hovering around the 140/86 mark.  I'll probably end up on bed rest at some point in the pregnancy, if I can get pregnant at all with high blood pressure.  I'll be high risk for Preeclampsia or so I've been warned by the OB/GYN.  I've been gathering up projects that I can do in bed to keep my mind occupied when I'm actually awake.  I'm prepared mentally now if only my body would agree.

I'm rather disappointed in myself today.  I caved-in this morning and took a home pregnancy test.  I'm supposed to wait until Thursday and get tested at Madigan Army Community Hospital.  I also didn't use the first morning urine.  I'm barely awake when I shuffle off to the bathroom every few hours.  Oh yes having fibromyalgia means I pee a lot more than most folks even when I cut back on my water.  So the test showed negative.  I've been thinking its just PMS symptoms.  Clomid makes my PMS worse.

I informed my husband of my failure to produce a child yet again.  Sure there is still hope that I might indeed be pregnant but its slim.  If my blood pressure stays high its not going to happen.  My high blood pressure is not weight related as I weighed more in my twenties than I do now and I found old records showing my blood pressure was 101/58 when I was 29!  I hit mid thirties and my blood pressure decided to follow my genetics and go high.  I miss the days of being able to eat anything salty I wanted.  But now I can't eat salty foods.  Now I have to show my body more respect so that I can grow a child.  Maybe next cycle I'll be able to conceive the much wanted and already loved child.

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