Starting Over

Today was my first counseling session with my new psychologist.  I did an intake appointment last week Friday with a psychologist but she wasn't the one I'd be seeing today.  No, she was just the one who determined the professional I'd be a best fit for.

I figured because of all the abuse I had received in my childhood I'd best go see a counselor again.  Its been a few years since I've done a tune up on my DBT skills.

The IVF cycle is already gnawing away at my patience.  I start the injections in just a few days.  I'm not sure how its going to affect my moods as the birth control already gives me migraines.  So with that said I made the appointment, went to it and to the follow up.  I'm now signed up for the 6 week refresher course on my DBT skills.  As long as I remember to daily work on my skills I should be able to get through the remainder of this IVF cycle without too many tantrums.

DBT is Dialectical Behavior Therapy.  Which really is just a set of techniques used for coping with situations.  Say I want something but I don't think I deserve the item.  I need to take a few minutes to rationalize just why I don't think I deserve the said item.  If I don't deserve the item for reasons such as: its way out of my price range, I've already bought myself a reward or someone needs something more with the money I'd spend on the said item I have to think about it more.  Do I really want it?  Why do I think I don't deserve to treat myself to the item?  Am I putting too many others above my own self and am I devaluing my own self worth by doing so?

More examples would be how I manage my anger.  I have a temper.  There I've said it.  But who am I hurting by letting my temper rule?  Me or others or both?  I could have a temper tantrum without regard to who I hurt but, it would be better and more productive to think more rationally with explaining why I'm angry.  Its not easy though, we all know that.  It is easy though to just let the shit fly.

It does go deeper than just the two examples.  I've pulled out my notebook from my last workshop on the subject.  It goes back almost 10 years.  Just one more reason why I need to refresh my skills.

Well enough about this.  I'm hungry and tired and I need to get those cookies baked.  After all it is Wednesday and I always like to have baked goods to give to the soldiers my husband works with for their Thursday treat.  Three hours sleep means I'd best get them baked so I can take a nap too.  I can shovel food into my mouth and do my baking too.  I'm particularly good at that multitasking exercise.