Wednesday, September 28, 2011
My hope of the Lupron injections calming down my endometriosis pain and bleeding came to a hault last night. The pain started up before the shot and never went away after the shot. No, the pain got worse and the bleeding started again. Thankfully it has once again subsided. I've kicked J to the living room on most nights now because I've become such a restless sleeper with the nightmares. The pain also causes the restless sleep. I'd love to have him sleep next to me but right now its just too difficult for even me to get to sleep.
I gave myself the injection last night. I had it all prepped for J with the areas swabbed that needed to be swabbed. He almost dropped the uncapped needle. I then took it away from him and said I'll give myself the shot. His hands were a bit shaky. Maybe its because he had gotten his flu mist, anthrax vaccine and another shot yesterday.
Yes, I said Anthrax. Its all part of him getting ready to deploy. I'm still hopeful that someone will let him stay behind but I have my doubts. Today he is drawing his gear for the deployment.
Because he is going to be getting equipped we canceled our marriage counseling session that was scheduled for today. Counseling helps with the infertility issues we are facing. As I see more doctors, and J falls asleep during the appointments, he feels like he isn't getting enough attention. Its true, the focus has switched to my health and finding ways to improve it before we get pregnant. I'd rather not have this particular attention. I'm starting to feel rather used. I feel emotions that I'm having troubles keeping to myself, thank you hormones.
Yesterday I had an appointment with my PCM, Dr. G., to renew two scripts. Dr. G. listened to my heart and lungs and noted my murmur was audible. Yes, I know I have a murmur. I know it could cause more issues in pregnancy and I'll deal with that when it happens. I did walk part of the way to my appointment and J picked me up and drove me the rest of the way. He was doing his pre-deployment stuff at something called SRP and with one vehicle I've learned that I can't depend upon him to be there to give me a lift. Even though I'm not supposed to be walking far because of my back and ankle problems I find it one of the best modes of transportation. So I walked the 2 miles back home, in pain, but I did it no less. He had to get back to SRP and couldn't be there to chauffeur me around.
Now I'm off to go bake cookies for the soldiers at the COF. Every other week I bake one particular type of cookie that is highly requested and this is the week that it gets baked. So today its Chewy Chocolate Peanut Butter Chip Cookies!