Saturday, April 28, 2012
Don't Ignore Your Own Strength
I realize that my own infertility journey is shortly going to come to an end but I'm going to keep fighting my own battle until I reach menopause. I'm counting on my own inner strength to get me through the worst of this as I learn what my body is doing to itself.
Today I woke up in more pain than yesterday. I'm refusing to let the Endometriosis and Adenomyosis win today. I'm up, washed, dressed, and I've eaten some snacks. I'll eat more when I feel bit more able to later today.
I have things that need to get done. Each day I'll make either a written list or a mental list of things that I want to accomplish. These lists are what can actually distract me from the negative influence that being an infertile and dwelling on that particular issue can do to harm my psyche.
Today it was so far just helping out with the clear coat sealer on the dining room table. Last week J and took upon us the task of striping, sanding and staining the dining room table. I had started the stripping part and he finished it along with the sanding. I got to do the staining last weekend. This weekend that project will be finished and I'll have my dining room back. If only I could tackle infertility problems the way we did that table.
However infertility struggles are much like the table. First you have to identify the problem. Next you make a plan on how you are going to work to the end goal. For us the goal is to have a child. It might no longer be a child of my own DNA or of either of our DNA. Much as I long for that genetic child my longing to just raise a child is stronger. As my plans evolve the goals do to. With the help of my spouse I find that even in my weakest moments I can still find the strength to go on.
I will find the strength to continue this infertility journey to the end whatever that end will bring. We might not end up with a baby, or a child. We might just learn to live our married life without children and find that okay too.
I'm glad that I have my network of blogger friends to lean on when I have questions and feel down. Thanks for being there for me ladies. You help give me the strength that I need in this fight.