Friday, April 27, 2012
Sometimes You Have To Let It Out
J and I share the vehicle. He brought me to my psychologist appointment this morning. This was a bad week.
I vented to my therapist about how my doctors and my spouse just aren't listening to me. J just blankly stares at me and treats me like I'm glass at times, its so annoying. My RE doctors just don't care what I think it is or that I'm in pain, or at least it feels like that most visits. I mean why aren't they doing something about my endometriosis?
I told my therapist about how I'm upset that I'm still not pregnant. That I'm facing a ticking time bomb in my womb and should probably just give up now.
JD and I talked for the hour about my issues, how I'm taking care of my needs and a possible plan to make sure that I'm getting what I need from others. I'm not sure how I'm going to make the doctors listen to me but I am going to make sure my spouse listens.
On the way home I just cried. I'm so tired of fighting. Why can't any of this just be easy? Why are my doctors ignoring me?
I sort of have the results from the stomach biopsy, my doctor called and apologized for being so behind in his paperwork of which still hasn't been mailed to me. I have a small gastric ulcer and my GERD is bad. Well I knew that the GERD was bad and I kind of figured I had an ulcer months ago. He asked if I was still in pain and I said yes on the left side just under the ribs. He ordered an ultrasound of my gallbladder. Okay I'll get it done but the gallbladder is mid-line in the abdomen. Unless its created a gall stone that is blocking a duct in the pancreas I doubt its the gall bladder. The pancreas is the only other thing on the left side besides the large intestine. I'm thinking its more likely my large intestine but I'm not a doctor. I have IBS and the large intestine gets irritated easily. The pain radiates around to my back on just the left side.