Sunday, November 18, 2012

Prove To Me You Exist

 Conversation with my bundled provider.  I changed their name out to just Cable.  I changed their number out too.  Besides what I put into parenthesis the rest is true to what was chatted between me and the Cable service bot/person.

Chris: Hi, I'm a live Cable product specialist. Would you like my help checking out?
Chris: Just type your question below.
You: streampix
You: why do i have it on my account?
Chris: Please wait while a secure chat connection is established.
Chris: With Streampix you will be able to access content with your iPad, iPod Touch, iPhone, through On Demand with your set top box, through cable and more.
You: i don't have an ipod or iphone
You: i don't need it and i'm not paying for something i didn't request
You: I was charged this month for it as an additional service. I want the money I was charged refund
Chris: Thank you for being our customer! I recommend calling our Customer Service Team. They've got all your account information and they also have the expertise to better assist you. That number is 1-555-5555.
You: calling now
Chris: Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?
You: not unless you can remove the charges
Chris: Our customer service team will be the best person who can assist you with that. ( so a whole team is made up of one person huh?)
You: have a nice day
Chris: Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?
You: nope
You: the office is closed
You: so i'm guessing you knew that
You: so no one is really willing to help me
Chris: I apologize, Our Customer Service team is available Monday through Saturday, 8 AM to 7 PM.
You: why didn't you tell me before?
Chris: I apologize.
You: am i talking to a computer program and not a real person?
Chris: I am a real person.
You: sounds like something a computer bot would say. okay prove to me that you exist
Chris: I apologize however, I can only answer questions about our services.
Chris: Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?
You: i'm sure if you really wanted to be of help you would be. however, given that you knew it was a Sunday and the fact that you knew the offices would be closed but still told me to call the number I have my doubts
Chris: I apologize you can just call our customer service tomorrow.
You: how about since they have my number they call me?
You: they always seem to call me when they want me to purchase a new service
You: this time they committed fraud by adding a service without my permission
Chris: I do understand how you feel. Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?
You: Sure you could get me some chinese take out
You: you asked
Chris: What questions can I answer for you about our products?
You: why would someone without apple products in their possession want streampix?
Chris: Our technical Chat Agents are the best group to help you with all of your technical and Account questions. I’m happy to walk you through the simple steps to connect to that group.
Chris: Are you ok with me sending you to the appropriate webpage to connect to that group?
You: no
You: i would like to know how i can remove the service from my bill today via the internet
Chris: Please click here to access the page.
Chris: Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?
You: yes
You: how do i go about preventing Cable from adding unauthorized additions to my account in the future
You: it is fraud you realize
You: btw the page you sent me to is of no help for the issue. i can see my bill, pay it of which i already did but I cannot make changes to it
You: but i think you already knew this
Chris: I suggest you to call our customer service tomorrow where they can better assist you with your concern.
You: so you aren't at all concerned about the fraudulent charges?
Chris: I apologize I don't have that information.
Chris: Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?
You: Yes plenty
Chris: I can only assist you in adding/upgrading services here online.
You: you can only add but you refuse to take away? how is that helpful? My service was horrible this week. I was without phone, internet and cable this week sporadically. Shouldn't I be given a credit?
Chris: As much I would like to help you however, we can only add/upgrade service here online. Our customer service team will be the best person who can assist you with this concern.
You: Yes but they aren't available right now. So you are telling you are a useful as a two peckered billy goat?
Chris: I do apologize however, the only person can help you in canceling your current services is our customer service.
Chris: Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?
You: 42 (Thank you Douglas Adams for popping into my head)
  Chris:  Thank you for contacting Cable today.  Have a nice day.

  what I need for streampix but don't have so why the heck would I want streampix?


  1. HAHAHAHA I am sure that is not funny to you, but it was very funny to me reading it

    1. No I was having fun with them. J accused me of enjoying. I do miss being able to talk to real humans and not those automated voices on the phones too.

  2. Do you have Trading Standards or similar where you are? It's a government run department that you can complain to if a company has done dodgy stuff.

    1. I think it would fall under our BBB (better business bureau). We can complain to the BBB for companies with foul business practices.

  3. Haha, that would be funny if it wasn't so frustrating. My husband once trolled the X-box chat people since they wanted $100-$150 to fix a broken rubber band in our system... all we could do was laugh, because it was really frustrating and there was nothing we could do besides replace the damn system or let it go.

    Stupid automated "people". I really love how they can always add stuff, but otherwise those chats people can't take away, discount, or discontinue service (*rolls eyes*)

    1. I know annoying. I still remember watching the video of the soldier that got so frustrated with the call repair place while serving overseas that the shot the printer.

  4. ugh. customer service in general for some cable providers absolutely SUCK! I had ATT DSL once and cancelled it before they ever came in and put it in...and I ended up calling and cussing the person on the phone out - and they still billed me 3 months in a row before they finally took all the bills away since I NEVER had their service physically set up! I even called every month I got the bill with them promising I wouldn't get another one, but I did 2 more times...

    1. Rather annoying to be billed for something you never had to begin with. I haven't had that particular issue except for one service but I have been billed for services never used after I moved.

  5. I hate hate hate talking with customer service people. So frustrating!!! This post was hilarious BTW.

  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. No offense taken or I wouldn't have published your comment. I used to work at a call center for surveys. I know that they have a spiel they have to follow. But seriously the person I was connected to was unhelpful. They gave me a number to call on that day knowing that the place was not open. How nice was that?

  7. Ugh so annoying, but funny how you played with him. I have been dealing with shipping companies over the past week. They keep saying they delivered our packages, but there are none to be found and I have been home every time they say they deliver them. They don't seem to knock or ring doorbells or if it needs a signature they are supposed to leave a note saying they tried to deliver. I'm getting noting of the sort.

    I hope you got your stuff figured out.


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