From the left I hear a sound, Oh God NO! Okay now how do I get out of this dream?
Yes, yet another bad dream in the early morning hours. The man that abused me all those years ago has again cropped up into my dream state. I somehow knew it would happen. It was triggered by the book I've been reading. The heroine of the novel has been abused. She escaped much as I did but I didn't have to fake my death. Now this heroine is having to face her past that she ran from. Does it ever stop? Do the dreams ever completely go away? I have to finish this novel. I know it will have a happy ending as it is the only type this particular author ever writes. I too will have my happy ending when I awake from the bad dream to realize that it was just that, a dream. Unfortunately my dream was based on truth, my past.
I know that some of my readers can understand these nightmares. Hopefully most of you that have them don't have them often. I wonder if I'll ever be fully healed. I'm just so thankful that I have my wonderful, understanding husband to be there for me. When I awake from these nightmares my husband is almost always there to help me deal with them and to give me that hug when I'm ready. Thank you J.
For those of you out there battered, beaten and traumatized please find a way to get out and get some help.
For my friends and readers that are survivors of domestic abuse this video is for you.
I got mine down to *rare* about 20 years ago by taking control of how I let them affect my life. Since my stroke/s I've had more (the return of the nightmares was actually one of the first portents that something was afoot). Rewiring to compensate for damage has put active pathways nearer to 'the attic' where things do still 'go bump in the night'. I'm better now than I was 3-4 years ago and expect I will get better yet because I know *I* have more control. Things like reading a book are much less likely to be an issue for me because of my sense of control. Alas, I can't /tell/ you anything that's likely to be terribly helpful beyond that, because while circumstances may be similar only you know what gives you a secure sense of control.
ReplyDeleteBe at Peace.
Wow. So sorry you went through that. (And that you have lingering effects...)
ReplyDeleteThinking of you!