Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Life: An Update
J comes home last night with his OCS packet. He has to re do the entire packet. Why when S1 went over it with him months ago before he submitted it? Well its because of the long field exercise. His packet sat at S1 the entire length of the exercise and documents expired. All his hard work, heck my hard work too as I helped in the gathering together of some of those documents, went to the circular file. I told him if only he'd done this when I first suggested it wouldn't have hit the expiration. Oh well, its done. Starting over with phone calls for references last night. Maybe he'll have it all together in two weeks time. I hope.
I've gained five pounds. I stepped ever so gingerly onto the scale yesterday morning only to see tilt. Okay so it didn't say tilt but it should have with the numbers I saw. The ovarian cysts aren't going down. I'm gaining weight and eating less. I'm full easily with the cysts pressing on my organs. The pain is now above the naval. Last week the pain was still only below the naval. This indicates to me that they are not reducing. Great. I'm rationing my percocet to just one a night. I have enough left now to last until Thursday night if I'm careful.
During the day I take acetaminophen with the hopes that it will take the edge off most of the pain. It never does. I did some more research on the ovarian cysts. There is absolutely nothing they can do to reduce the size of them except for surgery. I'd rather not have surgery. I don't like taking the risk of an infection. Staph infections happen more often then we realize. So here I sit whining and complaining about the pain.
Now I can complain more because life just sucks more. I'm alive I know this because of the pain. I don't want pity, I want sex. Did I just say that? Yes! No sex makes me grouchy. I should be used to not getting sex being an Army Wife. But when the husband is home I'd like to make up for all that time when he is gone. No sex of any sort because a woman's orgasm causes the uterus to elevate and shake. We aren't allowed any jiggling movements or so says the doctor. No sex he says. Again I say, "Life sucks".
We finally have a bit of nice weather here. Its cold but not raining. Well its not raining yet. I'd love to go out for a walk but the pain keeps me inside. I think I'd go outside if I had a hot tub but that is about it. Okay maybe if there was a trail of unopened chocolates leading me down the street I might budge from the house. But only if the chocolates led up to a bottle of narcotics. Geez make me sound like a druggy doesn't it?
Two more weeks until my next ultrasound. A few days after that I get my dental work done. Had to wait until there was no fear of me being pregnant. Mid May I have my MRI. I'm going to glow in the dark from all the radiation.
On the subject of female issues, another blogger pointed out the feminine napkin and tampon commercials as being unrealistic. I have to agree with her on that one. How many of my female readers, during that time of the month go hiking with no toilet on a trail. How many go sky diving? How many plan taking a cruise in search of that special guy? Really now! I mean how come they don't show the truth? How about showing a female shouting at the man in her life. Maybe show her drowning her PMS in ice cream, chips and chocolate? How about showing her crying because yet again she didn't conceive and the pain is bad both emotionally and physically?
Yes, I realize that stuff most likely will scare men off from women who expect us to be those "fake" females that love to do outdoor sports during that time of the month. I realize that products probably won't get sold if the truth were shown on tv. But I'd like to see some truth in advertising and none of this "have a happy period" bs.
I'm crabby. I'm unhappy that all my vacation plans have gone out the window due to high gas prices. I'm unhappy that I'm not pregnant. I'm unhappy that I'm in pain. I guess they only thing that is making me truly happy right now is that I know I'm loved even when I'm not the best person to hang with. Love really does make a difference even when I'd like to rip someone's head off.
I'm alive, I'm able to do things to take care of me, I'm capable of giving and receiving love. Life isn't so bad. But it could be better.