Tomorrow at 0630 hrs I have an ultrasound. Or perhaps I could say a date with the dildocam? Whatever way you wish to call it the transvaginal ultrasound is always uncomfortable for me, more so now with the ovarian cysts.
I'm hoping for a bit of good news tomorrow. I keep hoping that the cysts will reduce in the process of resolving. It didn't happen that way last week. Last week I ended up the very next day after the transvaginal ultrasound in the ER. The cyst on my right ovary, 9 cm had ruptured.
Tomorrow I'm going to don my tan and black cowgirl socks and put my feet in the stirrups again. This time I'm hoping to win over this disease. I want to keep trying to conceive but I know I'm running out of time.
The cancer blood work won't be back for another week. I'm hoping like most folks do that it will be negative. There is cancer in my family though it doesn't normally hit for another decade who is to say I'll be the exception. If there was a choice I'd say please skip me. One week more to wait on that test. Hopefully I'll know the results of the other tests they did on me. I was never told the results of the ones drawn in the ER. Maybe my doctor will be able to look them up for me as well as the ones done last week Monday.
Yes, I'm full of hope. I'm full of fear too. I want reproduction to go smoothly. I want to be one of those pregnant chics that has no complications but we don't always get what we want including getting pregnant and staying that way till a full term baby is handed to you after hours of labor. No, some of us don't get the happy ending. I want that happy ending and I'll keep trying until they tell us to give up.
I hope all is well, with the ultrasound and with the bloodwork. I don't know why this has to be so stinking difficult for a few of us, it just is. And it sucks. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
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