Thursday, February 7, 2013

Saturday Night Widows

I did find it a bit hard to relate to this book.  Oh I've had my fair share of losses.  I've lost a spouse but he didn't die, unfortunately.  I know that sounds awful.  If he had died at least I had insurance coverage on him and the funeral would have been fully paid for unlike my ER visits and the cost of my divorce lawyer.

The way I lost my first spouse was devastating.  I didn't mind seeing the door hit his ass on the way out but I mind losing him to another woman. Not a younger woman.  But she was pregnant.

No, not pregnant with my ex-husband's child either.  She was still married at the time to her first husband and pregnant with their second child while carrying on an affair with my spouse.

I had one of those type of marriages that everyone dreads.   I had the spouse that mentally and physically abused me, as if the cheating on me wasn't bad enough.  When I found out he was cheating for sure, I had my suspicions he was with various women for years, I went to the doctor's office and got myself tested for every known STD.

How did I find out?  Well it wasn't bad enough that my own mother knew and didn't tell me.  She saw him grocery shopping with the other woman and her young son.  It wasn't bad enough that our close friends knew about the affair and supported him while lying to me.  The clues were there all along.  He worked nights and didn't come home at the end of shift.  He would tell me he would be out with the guys for breakfast then lie about where he went.  He wouldn't answer his cell phone, not even when I was calling to tell him his mother was in the hospital.  I found the final clue while doing laundry.  I won't go into details but I will tell you that my ex-husband does not have blonde pubic hairs nor do I.  Underwear doesn't lie.  I was thoroughly grossed out and confronted him when he got home.

I lost a spouse the way in which I never dreamed; considering he was active duty Army for six years.  I lost him to another woman.  Karma has its own quirks.  The female he left me for, he recently left too.  Yes, he left her for another woman, a younger woman this time.  My heart does go out to the second wife as I'm sure he tried to control her too.  But I can't help feeling that she got a taste of Karma since she knew he was beating me while carrying on her meretricious affair

My life does have a happily ever after.  I married again.  My husband and I are actively trying to create a family while continuing to grow closer together through the many challenges  the Army throws our way.  Life is an adventure and it should be lived that way.

This post was inspired by Saturday Night Widows by Becky Aikman. After being kicked out of her widow support group for being too young, Becky creates her own support group with an unusual twist. Join From Left to Write on February 14 as we discuss Saturday Night Widows. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.




11 comments:

  1. Wow just wow! What an awful thing to have to deal with. I lost my ex-husband to his anger and abuse.

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    1. My ex-husband was very abusive. While over seas I did report him but back then they didn't do a thing about it. That was just prior to the crack down in 2000.

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  2. I'm so sorry for all you endured and happy that you found love again :)

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    1. Love found me when I wasn't looking. I ended up marrying my college sweetheart.

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    2. Love is sneaky like that, isn't? That's how I found my love. I'm glad you have found someone that makes you happy!

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  3. Such a sad story, and a happy ending. Glad you had the courage to move forward.

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    1. I'm getting pretty good at moving forward.

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  4. Wouldn't it be fun to have a conversation about Karma? Is there really something to it? So glad Karma caught up with him. It may be what he needs to get help.

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    1. Karma needs to do a whole lot more work on him. Considering he was charged with a domestic violence crime it is amazing that he now holds a position with the Correctional Facility which means carrying a weapon.

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  5. I'm sorry you endured such a lousy relationship. But I'm glad you have a happy ending! The others really do get what they deserve in the end, huh?

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    1. And sometimes they don't get enough. But maybe some day it will even out.

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