Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Feeling Ignored

I'm feeling rather ignored of late.  Oh I could go into the depths of my mind and dredge up possible self-deprecating reasons why I feel like I am and should be ignored but I'm not going to go there.

But its true, the facts are there, I'm being ignored.  Well how do I know?

About ten days ago I sent my spouse an email, a forwarded email full of information he needs to know for his job.  Now how do I know what he needs to know being that I'm only the wife of the soldier?  Well its because of my FRG.  Had my husband read the email I sent to him, listing what it was for in the headline he would have known this past Tuesday, yes yesterday, that he had to be somewhere important at a certain time. 

So I called him, he was in a hurry and wanted to know what I wanted to tell him.  I asked him where he was.  He told me where he was headed.  So I asked him if he was surprised that he had to be there, and of course he was surprised.  I then mentioned to him that I knew where he had to go and that if only he had read the email I had forwarded to him he would have been prepared.  I'm a Point Of Contact for my Family Readiness Group.  I often have the information that he needs to know but alas he ignores me.

Today, case in point, he goes online at work.  He responds to a friend's email on a social networking site photo through his email.  I found out about it as it was in my feed.  I called him up and asked him why he'll respond to a friend's email on a photo that is really, well, ridiculous, but then not respond or read my emails.  He said I was right that he isn't paying proper attention to me.

Well its nice to hear but how will he fix it.  I really don't like his manners when he gets home.  When he arrives home late I still will sit with him and chat with him while he eats dinner.  Sometimes I even make him his dinner depending on when he gets home.  Hey, its just the two of us so don't even think about judging me on  my domestic skills with my handicaps.  So back to his bad manners.  It amounts to me only getting about 15 minutes of his attention in a single night or even the weekend of late.  He is always too busy for me, but some how he has time for his friends?

"So am I chopped liver?"  I told him that very thing on the phone this morning.

 I then said. "You are treating me like a Kleenex to be used and tossed aside.".

He then said to me, "Not a Kleenex, more like a hankie."

I said, "Excuse me, how is that better?".

So he is going to come home for lunch if at all possible and we are going to work on us for hopefully a bit more than 15 minutes.  He realizes fully that he has been pushing me aside and using me when he has need of me.  I want more.  I deserve better treatment.  This babe is not going to be left in the corner!

Oh and I know I'm not the only wife or Army Wife out there that has to deal with the same type of bad manners from the spouse.  We often feel neglected, and alas its to be expected considering the type of work our men in uniform do.  We clean up after them and smile as we sit on the side lines while they get the medals they worked hard to earn.  There are days I feel like a dog at the table of affection and love begging for scraps.


  1. Oh, being ignored isn't unique to Army wives. It's characteristic of wives in general. And yes, sometimes we do have to remind them that we're here and deserve to be heard. It will all work out.

  2. I hear you -- and am facing similar frustrations. As women, we do SO much and are taken for granted. Being in the 2ww, I've been told not to lift anything over 10 lbs and with T-giving preparations underway, I've made a few clear requests on what I need help with. Has anything been done? No. But other projects, activities he's interested in -- of course! I am also feeling unheard and unvalued. It makes me sad, yet, I feel like saying something (an issue in our relationship clearly) will make things worse. Enough about me -- hope your DH will open his eyes and give you the attention that you so very much deserve.

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  5. Sorry that you're having issues with your husband. I hope he realizes and works on the issues, you do deserve to be recognized for what you do.

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  7. I've been there plenty of times, so I completely sympathize. Good luck with getting things better!!


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