Checking The Costs

Just for the heck of it today I decided to start researching the cost of donor eggs.  Donor eggs would give me a bit more time to try for a child.  It wouldn't be of my genetic material but it would be still of my husband's so its not all that bad to consider.

However, after just checking out the cost for a donor egg set of 6 eggs, the cost is going to be way out of my budget.  $15,000 for 6 eggs.  Yes, it would give me that chance to become a mother and its still quite a bit cheaper than trying to adopt.  But I can't afford the cost right now. 

I could do a loan but really is that a smart thing to do?  In this economy taking out a loan to get pregnant?

I guess the only reason why I'm even looking into this Donor Egg route is because I've yet to ovulate on my own after testing now for three days.  I have all the pains but it could just be the endometriosis.  I'm afraid that my eggs are really failing me.

I read quite a few blogs today and on one in particular the gal mentioned a similar problem to what I had with my last IVF cycle.  Her follicles weren't waking up like they should.  Her doctor decided to tweak her meds and she ended up with plenty of good eggs.  She is just two years younger than me.  I wonder is it because the Army doctors are limited on the types of drugs they can use for our protocols that I'm to never have that baby or is it because my doctor isn't all that great as to live up to the expectations I had hoped he would or quite possibly my eggs are just expired.

My odds given the two eggs they retrieved out of 8 follicles, most not even close to being ripe mind you, were as expected.  I had a 50-50 chance of getting an embryo.  I got one.  Just one.  It temporarily implanted but then something went wrong. 

Now I wonder if its the clinic or my body.  Did the embryologist not chose the best sperm when he did the ICSI?  Or did my body just decide to reject the embryo because I had a sinus infection.

I want a do over.  I want a happy healthy pregnancy.  Maybe I'll get that chance come January.  Now I just need to get another 15 pounds off to make it to my next goal.  I could handle going into the next pregnancy with only being 20 pounds overweight since I know my blood pressure will be more under control with the more weight I get off.  But I can't prevent sinus infections, colds, and flues even if I get the flu shot next week.

Too many variables stay subjective.  I'd like to change all that and make it more of a controlled environment.  An ideal environment.  For now the thought of donor eggs will have to shelved.