Positive Out Look

J and I are trying to keep a positive out look for this particular IVF cycle.  Its quite possible that when they do the egg retrieval I might get five good eggs or none at all.

This morning I had to take a pregnancy test.  Why?  Well for those of you that don't know its because of the trigger shot.

The shot I had to take at exactly 2000hrs last night was HCG (human Chorionic Gonadotropin) which is found in pregnant female mammals.  I'm not sure if its found in non-mammals or not.  Well okay in order to get the egg retrieval done tomorrow my pregnancy test has to show positive. 

And there it was this morning at 0458 hrs.  I was pregnant according to the digital test.  But I'm not actually.  Its just the shot.  Of course I called J into the bathroom to show him the test result.  I told him it might be the only time we see a positive home pregnancy test.  When I was pregnant with the twins 15 years ago my HPT never showed positive.    I've never actually had a positive home test either.  Weird but my body is like that or perhaps the tests were never that sensitive all those years ago.

See I'm not supposed to take another home pregnancy test (HPT) during this IVF cycle. No I'm supposed to just go for a blood test 14 days after the egg retrieval, not 14 days after the embryo transfer.    The 3rd of November, if all goes well I'll be getting some blood work done.

I'm nervous, I'm worried, I'm excited, hell I'm scared.  I'm trying to stay positive.  All I need is one good egg.  That super hero of all eggs that will work its seductive magic on one sperm and create us a happy, healthy embryo that is willing to attach to my uterine lining. 

I just want to get through the egg retrieval with good news.  Then of course I want to get through the embryo transfer on Saturday with good news.  I hope my body doesn't betray me now.  Seems as though I had plenty of follicles earlier but they all decided to play "you go first" and not develop together like they were afraid of the outcome.  So now my odds of a good quality egg in the bunch has diminished.  But I'm still hoping against all odds that it works for us.

Keep us in your thoughts please.  Thanks.