Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Oh the topic I'm sure has been done to death. But its my topic, I know what went on and when and I know what its like to live it.
I was thinking of the scandals that occur in small town life. I've lived in a few small towns in my lifetime. I've become part of their community through various organizations. In every one I was privy to scandal. Not that I was the cause of it or the witness to everything first hand, no but I was aware. Sometimes I did nothing, sometimes I stood up and said something.
When I stood up I did get knocked back down, put in my place as a female of no accord and thought to be silly, flighty, and an instigator. Small towns are often backward places where the women folk are still barefoot and pregnant as teens through menopause and if they aren't something is wrong with their man. Where the women folk are seen only when the food is to be prepared, sex is required of them, or they are needed as beasts of burden. In today's society how can this be still happening in America? Well it is. Often we turn our back to it since its so painful to look upon.
Men are not the enemy but often they are the troublemakers in the small towns. Its not the anonymous one that create the violence like is heard about in the big cities. In the small towns it could be and often is a person that has a position in the town. Quite possibly a neighbor, not necessarily an estranged from the community sort but the one that is looked at as a role model. You can't tell what is lurking behind closed doors until you are invited in. Abuse of authority is not unheard of but it is often ignored.
Case in point, a former fire chief and military veteran often cheats on his wife and she turns a blind eye to the matter until one day she snaps and confronts her husband's current lover. The lover, who has been more of a friend to the man than a sexual partner breaks off the affair only to have this so called friend rape her a year later. When the former lover presses charges after getting a rape kit done she is advised to drop the case because of the man's position in the community. Little did the community know that this wasn't the first time this guy has done a violent sex act to a woman. Doubtful it would be his last either; but this man escaped justice because of the small town ethics.
Second case in point another former firefighter and military veteran beats his wife to the point she ends up in the hospital. She presses charges, sues for divorce and the soon to be ex then sues her for emotional damage to him. Really? I doubt the man was a victim at any point in that marriage.
Third case in point. An almost adult, 18 being legal adult, child gets into his parents stash of drugs and goes crazy. He kills both of his parents. One parent had jail time for some long forgotten crime. Small town ethic ignore the fact that the parents were drug users and the town mourns the parents as if they were heroes. The child is jailed and finally sent to prison.
Small towns are often idealized by literature and television. There is usually just as much per capita of violence if not more because most of it is hushed up.
Now what do we do about it? Do we go into the towns and proselytize? Do we go in with our pamphlets for domestic abuse, drug abuse, and suicide prevention? Or do we actually settle in these towns and educate them on how to recognize the signs and symptoms and learn how to prevent them? I'm not sure if any of the above would work. I think that perhaps it will always exist in the small towns and always be swept under the carpet when possible.
These are my opinions. No names or dates were mentioned in the above.