Sunday, January 15, 2012
I woke up in a cold sweat several times last night. I was having night terrors again.
The first dream was of the never ending work day. Every time I'd ask for a break in my dream I was told that I had to work longer. The day never ended and I was working retail. I never really liked working retail. It just doesn't fit with my personality. I'm a loner. But I'll go into that in a few days with the book review.
I woke up at 0400 hrs to take my blood pressure medicine and get J up to do his morning PT. He continues to do PT on the weekends and his body really appreciates it. I appreciate what his body looks like now too. Maybe I'm a tad bit shallow but seeing the squared off pectorals he has developed and the beginnings of a six pack isn't a bad thing to look at each day.
I'm starting to swell up. The funny part of the Lupron is that even though I'm still losing weight, I lost another 0.4 lbs overnight, I'm bloating up too. My pants are snug over the abdomen after just three injections.
I'm getting cranky. Oh I knew that was going to happen. It can't be helped. My spouse knew it was to be expected and he is giving me breathing room. I'm lucky in that we went through this together last time and he is now more understanding. I think some of it has to do with the book I read this week and will post my review in a few days.
The second and third dreams I had, through the night, were just as unsettling as the first. I was trapped in a room with people that just wanted to verbally poke and prod me. They weren't understanding. In all three of the dreams people were expecting more from me that I am able to give.
Its just my fears. I know.
I'm thinking about getting out in a bit today just to enjoy the snow we have here.