Irritated

After effects of the HCG shot and IUI.

• cramping yesterday
• brown spotting today, 1 day after IUI
• headache
• irritability
• sleepiness
• sensitive to smells

Those are what I'm dealing with right now.  In a few days the HCG shot should be out of my system enough that when J cooks up some of his taylor ham I'll no longer want to retch.

J and I had a long argument last night.  Right after the IUI he became insensitive again.  Oh heck, he started in the night before the IUI and gave him the what for.  He straightened up for about 12 hours.  Next day he was a jerk again.

I told him last night that I'm tired of him being immature.  It isn't cute.  I need an man that acts like a responsible adult to be my life partner.  I want someone that I can depend on.  Not someone that raises my blood pressure so that my head pounds especially when they know I have high blood pressure.

He can be that person if he loves me.  He can try if he wants to.  But trying is effort.  Effort means be responsible for ones actions.  It means he has to put his childish wants behind him and think of others first.  He can do this with his job so why can't he do it with his home life?  I'm fine with him being childlike on his own "me" time.  But when I need or want him to be there for me to share in joy, happiness and sometimes sorrow I want the adult.

I don't want to think that this cycle is already a bust but I think it might be.  The stress that I was put under last night is in no way conducive to sperm meets egg.

Okay I'm irritated.

So yesterday I managed to finish one baby hat and make another.  I'll share with you the photo of the experimental one.

 The white yarn has sparklies in the fabric though it can't be seen here.  This particular one is a newborn to three months size and currently I'm making one in the 3 to 6 months size.  I might make one in a preemie but I was wondering what my readers thought of it first.  So tell me, do you like the peppermint stripe hat?

If I can figure out how to make a red hat with a cuff of white would you like to see that in my shop?  Kind of like a Santa style hat.

My sales have dropped off dramatically.  I'm now paying out more for listing and advertising on Etsy than I'm taking in each week.  I hate to drop the advertising because it might just be the only reason that I'm getting a sale but I'm no longer making enough profit to even purchase more yarn.

Dismayed I guess.  Thinking that if my shop doesn't show enough profit I'll quit making items come January.  Had my FRG informed us about the holiday bazaar I think I would have purchased a table at it to show my wears.