Sunday, February 3, 2013

24 Hours Makes A Big Difference

I woke up in pain.  A lot of pain.  Pain in my pelvis.  I knew without a doubt that I had just lost this pregnancy too.

Walking slowly into the bathroom I took the HPT and it was negative.  Yesterday's joy was gone.

I kind of knew the positive result wouldn't be long lived.  The nightmares had started before I woke up in pain.  Before my period starts I always get nightmares.  The PTSD nightmares.

Sure enough I'm bleeding.  It is a full bleed too.


I guess waking up to a dislocated finger on Friday morning wasn't enough for me to have over a weekend.  I have no clue just how I dislocated the finger but with hypermobile joints, fibromyalgia and a TBI it isn't likely that I would remember how I did the event that left my finger in pain.  I taped the ring finger on the right hand to the middle finger next to it.  I've done this before.  If the pain and swelling aren't less by tomorrow I'll call my PCM.  Right now to let the middle finger not be so stiff I have it freed from the tape.


The sinus infection is raging enough that I've woken up with broken capillaries on my left facial cheek, pain in the maxillary sinuses now too.  It was just located to the Ethimoid ,Sphenoid, and Frontal sinuses.  I guess the Maxillary sinuses got jealous and wanted in on the game?

Suffice it to say I ache.    I'm bleeding from my nose and vagina.  Not sure which end needs the feminine product more.  (trying for a little humor)

I'm not going to dwell on the chemical pregnancy or the horrible pain of this miscarriage either.  I have endometriosis and I really didn't expect it to be much different because it does affect my egg quality.  J and I will do one more natural cycle with some hope since we have time before we go on to the donor egg appointment in March.  Really what is $200 for an IUI when we will be spending just under $19,000.00 for the donor eggs not including the medicine?

I have yet to read or post the comments from everyone from yesterday.  I'll get to that next.  For now housework calls.  I'll work through this pain like I normally do.  Hey, I was scrubbing the utility room floor on Friday with a scrub brush on my knees with my finger disjointed.  I think I can take the pelvic pain. 



P.S.
Sorry to anyone that I haven't been commenting on your blogs as often this past week.  My wireless router had issues and had to be removed from the computer.  Time to go buy a new one.

21 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things. If this new cycle doesn't do it maybe the donor eggs will?

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  2. I'm really sorry Rebecca. Thinking of you and hoping the sinus junk clears up quickly and your finger heals smoothly. Rest up and do something nice for yourself. (((Big hugs)))

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    Replies
    1. Housework always makes me feel better. Just having a clean house perks up my mood.

      Hope you aren't in too much pain today.

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  3. I started reading this and my heart sank. I am so sorry you have to go through this. This just isn't fair.

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  4. I've had bad luck with those tests. I've had the faint positives which never really were. I read that if it doesn't have any color (that its grey instead of pink) its a negative. So sorry!!!! hoping for better things in the upcoming months!!

    Kim

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    Replies
    1. I'm always looking toward the future with some hope. I dealt with the sadness early enough this morning.

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    2. First Response test are pretty good. Not a grey line but I did have a faint pink line yesterday. The blue tests are horrible in my opinion.

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  5. I'm so sorry, for your loss and how much pain you're in. Keeping you in my thoughts (*hugs*)

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    Replies
    1. I think I'm getting used to pain. Endo pain, Fibro pain, oops I walked into (insert inert object) pain.

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  6. Ugh. So sorry :( Hoping for happier/healthier days ahead for you girl!

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  7. I'm so sorry Hon. I wish there were more I could say or do. Sending so much love and lots of Hugz! Sorry I have been MIA with commenting.

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  8. I'm so sorry for the loss and for everything else you're dealing with. I'm so glad to see you looking to the future and I really hope you get the happy ending you deserve, whether it be through a natural or DE cycle.

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  9. So sorry to hear about this loss, and also the worsening sinus infection.*hugs*

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  10. I'm so sorry :( I know you have grown a tough skin from all the pain and disappointment, but the loss still hurts. I hope that the physical pain and illness gets kicked to the curb quickly.

    I'm looking forward to your donor egg cycle. Thinking of you.

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  11. Sorry... I was really hopeful.... I didn't have time to write you the other day from your post... I am sorry. I think you need to have a little vacation, enjoy yourself, have a "me" day... you derserve it!!!

    And not lift a finger... sorry about the Pun.... ;o)
    Feel better, and rest..

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