Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Going It Alone

0310 hrs saw me waking my husband up.  It was time.  I had yet to go to sleep.  The frustration, anxiety and last night's pizza, I'm allergic to tomatoes, kept me awake.  Of late I'm not sleeping well.

0415 hrs J and I drop off his duffle bags at the designated drop site.

0500 hrs J and I part ways so that he can go to his formation.  Soon after we travel to the next destination which was back to the bag drop off point.

0530 hrs Its another formation.

0630 hrs Its another formation

0730 hrs Its another formation

0800 hrs I say my good byes to him.

I probably could have stayed around until they got on the buses this morning which would have only been another 30 minutes to wait but I was already behind on taking my morning medicine by three hours.  With the stress right now I'm not sure my blood pressure could wait a few more minutes.  Well that and the traffic with PT letting out made getting off the corner a 15 minute process.  Several roads close on post each morning for PT and re-open shortly after PT is over.

One other reason I wanted to get home was to try to find what J was looking for and couldn't find.  I figured I would have time to find it and get it back to him before he loaded up on the bus.  I get home at almost 0820 hrs and fruitlessly look about where he would normally keep his gaming cds.  No luck.  So I'm not even going to try to head back empty handed at this point.

Finally sleep is calling to me at 0900 hrs.  Its a fitful sleep.  I miss him so much already.  I wake up no less than four times before finally dragging myself out of bed at 1300 hrs.  Tonight I expect the same, not much sleep.

So this is some of what I've been unable to discuss.  There is more, there is always more. 

Again I write this blog for me so that I don't forget how I felt, what I did, and what I experienced.  I have fibromyalgia and often I forget things.  For now I can share certain things in my life but there may come a day when I cannot and will go private with my blog.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry you are going through this. My heart breaks for you. Can't imagine what it must be like. Hugs, Becky.


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