Sunday, August 21, 2011

Another Night Of Restless Sleep

I think the hormones are getting to me.  I know that each cycle, at a certain point, I get nightmares.  Well, it shouldn't be happening now.  Two nights in a row of nightmares.

I woke up at one point in the early hours gripping my right bicep so hard I think I was trying to strangle it with my left hand.  I have a slight bruise on my right arm today. 

I really thought I had the PTSD under control.  I thought wrong.  Funny how hormones can bring about that which we thought we had burnt, sealed the ashes in an air tight can and dropped with an anchor to the deepest trench in the ocean. 

J can't call me right now.  Its been 11 days since I last spoke with him.  I've played his messages, from the last year, just to hear his voice.  Pitiful I know. 

Maybe in a few days he'll be able to call home again.  I cherish those 5 minute phone calls.

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