Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year's Is Upon Us

With a new year just around the corner I know I need to sit down and evaluate all that has passed in the year.  I've accomplished quite a bit I think but I probably could have done a whole lot more.  So this is my year in review.

I was alone this month.   I was diligently working on finishing up the last of the Deaconry Training Program updates.  I had finished the main body of the course work the previous month but still had two updates to finish and I did.  I would apply for my certificate.  I still had another seven months before my husband would redeploy and three more until he would come home for just a visit.  What was I to do with so much time on my hands?

The time was drawing ever closer to when my husband would be home on leave, only about eight more weeks to go.  How could I stand it?  I'm not sure I got through it all but more likely just existed.  I decided I would learn an instrument since I was now done with my course work.  But what instrument would I choose and how much did I want to put into it knowing I'd most likely be terrible.  So I researched, I'm a research junkie, and finally found something inexpensive to play.  I decided upon the Scottish Tin Whistle, but I found it for much less than the link and with only two left I had to make the purchase quickly.

Now I was only down to a few more weeks.  With him leaving Iraq in just a matter of weeks to visit me I felt the pressure.  I wanted everything to be perfect here.  I had yet to learn enough on my new instrument to impress a baby so there was none of me even thinking of playing a decent solo for him. It would have sounded more like a squeak.  I played the clarinet as a child and actually quiet well but for some reason there was just one note on this blasted tin whistle that wasn't coming out right. I was worrying that I hadn't lost enough weight just yet.  Only twenty pounds.  Would he notice?

My spouse left again to head back to the desert.  I was again alone.  How much longer did I have to put up with this crap?  Having him home was just a tease.  Vacation went by in a blurr and I can hardly remember what we got done.  I know we got my garden planted.  Next year I'm going to purchase from Burpee or so I told myself and I ordered their catalog.  Just after my husband left the hail started.  I lost ten of the sunflowers, all of my pumpkins and a few marigolds.  I would have to start from seed again this month.  My precious plants, I felt so bad.

Big tease from my spouse.  He didn't like hearing either that they were sending home some of the troops from his camp but he wouldn't be one of them.  He still had a while longer.  I watched as a new neighbor welcomed home her husband.  I later cried.  Why can't mine come home now?  More fighting in the province shortly after they left.  I was scared.  Sure this time around they lost less but they still lost soldiers.

Wow where did the time go?  I helped out the end of June with setting up the barracks for the soldiers that were soon to come home.  Did I say soon?  How could this be?  Yes, some had to start filtering home.  It isn't as easy as hoping on a plane and flying home.  Dust storms, canceled flights, insurgent activity all prevented the easy transport home.

All I could think of is how much longer.  He's been gone almost a year now.  Will he make it home for my birthday?  Okay fifty weeks down and that means they have to have him home in the next two weeks or I'll...what?  What could I do?  Complain?  Have a hissy fit?  No that wouldn't work.  Okay so I finally get that call.  Not the dreaded he's been injured call but the call that tells me how much longer.  I'm elated.  I couldn't sleep for two days.  I arrive early at the location.  I wait as there are more delays.  One homecoming group comes and goes.  Second, third and then I wonder what is the problem?  Where is mine?  I want mine.  Finally I get to see him disembark from the plane.  All is well.  He doesn't even know he is on camera.  I can see him sitting in the airport waiting area for the bus.  He is doing his chain maille unaware of the live feed camera.  I keep hoping he'll notice it and wave.  I wait more and more.  What's the delay now?  Oh the buses aren't back there yet.  Grrr...I'm so impatient.  Yay!  He's finally walking into the gym.  I want to grab him right then and there but I've been instructed that we aren't to touch them until they are released.  First they have to form up and hear their final instructions and reporting time.  Come on now get with it I want my man.  Oh the hug feels so good.  Its been so long since I've held him in my arms.

Almost my husband's birthday.  What should I get him?  What does he want.  He's changed.  I've changed.  He's been gone off and on now since April 2007 with the longest home being 6 months.  Maybe a vacation is in order.  Okay that's an idea.  We head out on the Olympic loop because that is where the Twilight books were based on. We'd just watched the first two movies on youtube together and he wants to see what inspired the writer.  Funny but Stephenie Meyer had never even visited Forks, WA before she began writing her series of novels.  On our first leg we stayed in a caboose up in Sequim, WA.  Rather nice place.

We are still vacationing.  Almost done the Olympic Loop.  My husband and I go with a friend of his to a gun show in Port Angeles.  Its not so bad going back there.  Just prior to the weekend with the gun show and his friend we were in Port Angeles again.  Wow three times in less than a month.  The Tall Ships, , were worth the trip.    For that particular trip we stayed at a cozy B& B Clark's Chambers.

Our plans for another trip failed when his training ran over.  I had to cancel our reservations.  Its part of the Army life.  I have to be ready for almost everything.  Luckily I wasn't charged for the late cancellation.   Leavenworth, the cute Bavarian town, would have to wait.

Well I started a blog last month and it seems to be going quite well now.  I wasn't sure I would even keep up with the writing.  At least the blog is keeping my writing skills active and I'm trying to improve them but we'll just see where this takes me.  Thanksgiving was spent with my husband's family on the West Coast, maybe next year we'll be somewhere else.

Where did the year go?  I'm still not pregnant.  Yes, even though I had four follicles ripe with four assured eggs it just didn't happen.  Maybe next cycle with the IUI I'll have better luck.  I'm just so confounded as to why its not working.  I'm fertile my husband is fertile its just not taking.  Every time I get a negative home pregnancy test I want to cry and I usually do.  I keep wanting to just give up.  Five more cycles left to try.  This bring me to the present time.  I'm about to head out for the New Year's Eve grocery run.  We are staying in tonight.  There is a marathon of the Three Stooges on tonight. We don't want to miss it.  We haven't have a New Year's Eve together in two years.  I'll take what I can get for holidays.  Even if tonight isn't spectacular its still a whole lot better than last year when we had to be apart.

J, I love you.  Thank you for being with me this year.

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