Now to the main body complaint today.
I didn't forget you were there. No there is just no way I could ever forget you. You always remind me of your occupancy downstairs.
Today you reminded me of yet again another failure. I have to say Uterus that I find you to be an extremely incompetent resident. You have yet to pay your rent.
I see that you decided to start your monthly housekeeping. I am reminded of how painful you make it for the rest of us. You are a bad tenant. You make me moan and cry in complaint. There are not enough drugs out there to make you bearable to live with. I say this to you as I take yet another tramadol and watch you toss your filth down the stairs.
I'm tired of your abuses. There are days I wish I could evict you. If it were possible I'd have another tenant in there in a heartbeat. I've tried to calm you down with peace offerings of gonadotropins and progesterones but you just seem to have one idea and one way to do it.
Uterus I hate you. This is me declaring war upon you. I've tried to play nice. I want you to get a roommate to calm you down soon. I'm willing to pay for this roommate. As a matter of fact I have several willing roommates lined up ready for me to call them. If you don't get a roommate of your choosing soon I'm going to install one myself while you are sleeping under the influence of heavy meds.
Oh and if you try to kill your new roommate off when you wake up I may just have YOU removed for violating the terms we agreed upon.
Thank you and have a nice house cleaning.