Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Pregnancy Test Blank Window

I'm on my spouse's laptop on bed rest today.

****TMI***
Last night I had more of the bright red, thick bleeding. No clots thankfully.  That is of course until it turns to the brown stuff.  When it goes brown it gets all sort of clots in it.

I took a home pregnancy test this A.M.  A digital one, EPT to be exact.  I did as directed and waited watching the little hourglass work its magic, then it goes blank.  WTF!  Yes, it went blank. 

Okay so it has a battery in it and I have to crack it open to separate the electronics from the rest of it for proper disposal.  Besides it does have a test strip inside, this isn't the first time I've cracked one open. 

Luckily for me I could read the test strip.  Its not rocket science and I've no clue how some folks can't read them.  So for today I saw the thin blue control line separated by a white space and a big blue smudge three times the thickness of the control line.  So I guess I'm still pregnant.  Its good news I think.  But the bleeding is scary.  Maybe the bleeding is nothing?

I have yet to call the REI nurse after she told me to take it easy yesterday.  I'm definitely on bed rest today.  J's been very helpful and has loaned to me his laptop, brought into the bedroom my healthy snacking foods (nuts, and such), the 300 dvds in the single case, another blanket, bottles of water too.  He is so sweet when I asked him to do this.  He had to get to work but he took time for me. 

You should have seen his face screw up in agony this morning with the test results.  He is happy but he is also afraid that I'll still lose JR in the next few hours.  We are both afraid that the blood test tomorrow will come back negative.

I'm hoping of course that JR decides to stick around for the full 9 months but I can't make it happen if its not to be.  I continued with the PIO shots this morning.  This one given in the bedroom while I was on my side. 

My bad back is really hating me right now.  I need to get up and move about but I know that the more I move about the less my uterus will rest, the more the blood pressure will rise, and so on and so forth. 

I'm sure many of you out there know what I'm going through.  I'm struggling just like the rest of my infertile cysters to keep my embryo in my uterus.  Each pregnancy is different for every one of us.  If I'm lucky enough to carry to term I'll try to not complain too much about the pain from my DDD, bulging and herniated discs in my back and neck, and the fibromyalgia pain.  No promises though, I knew what I was getting into before I got started.

2 comments:

  1. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Thinking lots of happy thoughts. And don't worry about making some complaints here and there. It doesn't mean that you aren't happy to be pregnant, it just means that you are suffering some despite how much you want JR.

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  2. I hope you;re hanging in there. Bleeding is always terrifying. Are you doing another test tomorrow?

    ReplyDelete

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