Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Never A Quick Fix
The economy is going to take a long time to recover. I don't think that all these budget cuts that they are trying to impose are the correct ones. I don't think that we do have a quick fix to our deficit. I really wish that we could just close our doors to the world for one day and get a reset to zero. I can dream right?
I wish there was a better solution to my sinus infection. I'm on my second round of antibiotics. The first antibiotic, Levaquin, started on the 17th and taken for five days failed. Yesterday I was at the doctor's office, I actually got to see my doctor for the first time in a year, and after taking my vitals I was noted to have a fever. My blood pressure was great at 124/70. But the fever showed proof that I still had the infection. I now have a script of Cefdinir 300mg twice a day for ten days. Its a relative of Penicillin, of which I'm allergic to so I'm hoping that I won't have any of the dangerous side effects. So far I'm in the clear.
My marriage is working well enough. We discussed the wall. The chaplain and my husband agreed that there is indeed a wall and that the wall has to stay there as long as he has a chance to deploy. The wall might always be there. We are now exploring ways in which he can feel comfortable enough to have a middle ground with me. I have PTSD and my spouse is experiencing PTS without the D or so the Chaplain said. It hasn't been diagnosed by any means but it is what most soldiers experience when they re-deploy to their stateside assignments. The culture shock, responsibilities, and roles change when they aren't in a combat zone. The families just have to accept and encourage.
So we have to work on his socializing. He can't be pressured into doing too much socializing but he can't be allowed to just sit there and not interact when visiting his family. I have to encourage him. I know him best. But if he says that he'd rather read, watch tv, or play with the computer I'll have to accept his choice. However, when dinner is being served he has to come to the table and socialize.
I've never been deployed but I have PTSD and I can understand the not wanting to be around crowds. I have to force myself to socialize. Usually I find that I can enjoy myself. My husband will learn to do the same. Socializing with family, other than me, is entirely different than socializing with the soldiers. The soldiers know what my husband is going through, most of his family can only guess. Nothing against you folks, the family that might read this, but unless you are living in the household of a soldier that was deployed you'll not fully understand no matter how much you read on the subject, it has to be experienced.
Maybe if we get that promised two years at home we'll be able to fix most of the problems that arise in our relationship. For now we deal with situations and feelings as they crop up. The weeds get pulled and the flowers cultivated. Unfortunately some weeds will come back, like the dandelion with its long root system you pull and you break it off only to have it sprout back up. Some problems run deep and will have to be explored to find the source and work from there.
Its not going to be a quick fix. I'd love a quick fix.